[LittleBlackKat]

Hello everyone, I hope you are all well.

Good news since my last post. The man I am romantically interested in told me his ex has calmed down and so has the drama in his life as well as my own. However, due to rushing into things from my own (and his) pasts, we have decided to take our "relationship/friendship" very slowly this time and sort out things one step at a time.

I am still in school, and he is trying to go to college as he works a full time job. His mother recently found out she has breast cancer, and right now he and I both decided we do not need a relationship-we need to just be there for each other as friends more or less.

Now the real problem with all this is, I was speaking to my mother and father, and they told me I can be there for him as a friend, but that is IT. No more than friends. What really bothers me is that I'm 22 years old, I have learned many things from my own mistakes in the past, and I have many great friends who are also there to support me and guide me through problems.

I just feel a bit disappointed in my mother especially because she told me today and I quote: NEVER become involved with someone who has a child when you yourself don't have one.

I don't mean to bash my mother, but I think she is being VERY close minded. I understand and am grateful that she has my best interest at heart and only wants me to have as stress-free of a relationship as possible, but life is not 100% safe and happy ALWAYS. And to boot, there are tons of couples and friends in the living world who have no problem with being together despite a child or two, etc.

So I just don't know how to cope with a family so close-minded and not supportive of my choices.

I will appreciate any aid/opinion in this matter.

Thank you so much.

[teacherjenn4]

Do you still live at home? Do your parent support you financially?

[LittleBlackKat]

Yes, I live at home, and the only source of support my parents provide is food and utility bills. I pay for my own clothes, school expenses, entertainment, etc.

[teacherjenn4]

Yes, I live at home, and the only source of support my parents provide is food and utility bills. I pay for my own clothes, school expenses, entertainment, etc.

Since you live at home, they actually support you by providing a place to live, food, utilities, etc. So, until you move out and support yourself totally, then they can tell you what to do with your relationship. If you don't like their views, then you you need to support yourself.

[LittleBlackKat]

Very good point, and it is indeed logical. I just don't understand still how parents (mine too) can lament about how they want their children to be happy in life, do what makes them happiest, etc, yet they still try to be controlling/imposing? That is a bit strange to me.

As I said, I AM grateful for what they are doing, and I unfortunately will have to live with them still for a few years until I have completed my degree ( hence why I am not rushing with the man I mentioned above). I just don't know how to discuss it with them calmly/rationally. Because I'll be honest: This is a problem that is causing me depression.