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rich22 · Feb 1, 2009, 07:42 PM

I've been going out with my girlfriend for 2 years and we've had our ups and downs along the way but we both really love each other. Neither of us have cheated but my girlfriend has a hard time trusting me because of a couple of things that have happened (couple of flirt incidents nothing sinister over a year ago).

Lately I've been trying to tell her that I need space because we see each other almost everyday and she likes to text a lot. I love her to death but its getting to me; I've been trying to get on with things and be patient but my temper has been getting worse and worse and I feel like I am changing. This morning we had an argument over something silly and it got worse and worse. It got so bad, I was so frustrated that I ended up crying. I know its strange but I couldn't stop, it had never happened to me before.

She thinks that when we argue that everything must be fixed straight away in the same conversation. However I can't always do that, I'm still mad but I can't let things go that quick its not always that simple. So I told her I needed some space today; I don't know if that was a good idea. She didn't take it well and started using reverse psych "so you want to break up with me". She's been saying that a lot because we almost broke up 4 times in our 2 year relationship.

I don't know what to do, I don't want us to move apart I love her but my patience is wearing thin and I can't keep up. She's the most kind caring and loving person I have ever been with I don't want her to change but I want us to change, I want space but how do I make it clear without hurting her?

Fr_Chuck · Feb 1, 2009, 07:44 PM

How old are you, sounding a lot like teen issues. After two years most couples see each other daily

rich22 · Feb 1, 2009, 08:19 PM

I'm 22 but I'm her first boyfriend she is 21

UnluckyDucky · Feb 1, 2009, 08:43 PM

It sounds like she's definitely smothering you and you just need a little time away from her.

I would say something like: "Baby, you're the most caring and loving girl I know but I feel as though I haven't had much time for myself lately. If you're with me all the time, how am I going to miss you and appreciate you more? I promise I'll be back soon."

Just give her the message that you just need a little time for yourself and reassure her you're not going anywhere (leaving the relationship) and I think she'll get the message.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that rot ;)

talaniman · Feb 1, 2009, 10:08 PM

Most people who are afraid to hurt someone's feelings, get theirs hurt. Just tell her you need some space, and your tired of all the texting. Me, I am just straight up blunt, and frankly she will be pizzed at you. Just be caring but firm, and honest.

rich22 · Feb 2, 2009, 12:57 PM

Il try that. I'm already feeling a bit nervous but il do it

jmw0713 · Feb 2, 2009, 01:10 PM

Honesty is the best policy. Yes, she will mostly like be hurt, initially, but it's better to get out your feelings now then to let them build up. The whole breaking it to them softly doesn't work. It's just better to get it over with because either way it's painful.

Relationships work best when there is open and honest communication.

I don't want us to move apart I love her but my patience is wearing thin and I can't keep up. She's the most kind caring and loving person I have ever been with I don't want her to change but I want us to change

Tell her your feelings and also say you just need some time ALONE to sort things out, and to relieve some stress. Tell her why you need this time and what has happened that has made you feel this way (all the texting, arguments, whatever else). Then disappear for a couple of days, or until you have relaxed enough to continue on.

Make her understand that you don't want to break-up (I'm assuming you don't want to). You have to show that you don't want to break-up through your actions, not just words. Actions tell more than word will ever be able to convey.

wolfgangqpublic · Feb 2, 2009, 02:12 PM

Just tell her that you're a bit overwhelmed (and make it seem that it's not just about her) and that you need a day or two to yourself. Make her feel safe by suggesting something coupley to do at the end of that time. Hopefully, you can start to establish a new regimen.