Hiyyaa I am 13 years old and I have a boyfriend and he is 16 years old.I love him very very much and I feel like I would die if I lost him :( but people keep calling him a kiddlyfidler or a pedo but he has never pressured me into anything and promises he will wait till I am ready. The most we have ever done together is snogged but it just happened and I made the first move because he was scared in case I wasn't comfortable with him kissing me first but obv I am. My parents know but at the start I didn't even want my parents know I was dating then they seen me and my boyfriend hugging so I just decided to tell them but I said he was 14 because he does look 14. That's how old I thought he was at the start when I fancyed him :L. then my dad found out he was 16 and went mad and told me to end it or the police were getting involved so I told him it was finished because of my dad and the boy said can we still go out but keep it a secret please? So I said OK because I don't fink id be able to live without you anyway. So we dated for another week but kept it a secret. Then after that weekmy dad said I could see him again as long as there's no more secrets and I behave and I have been keeping those promises. My family said its OK but I still want to know what all yous think ?

Why would you want to date a 16 year old guy if you are only 13? There is a huge maturity difference between you two, plus the guy must be some sort of an immature freak if he want to date a girl so young. (no offense)

I think it might be even illegal in some states for him to touch you... And you wouldn't want him to get into any trouble would you...

How long have you two been dating? I think it might be best if you stop your relationship. He is a guy and he might start wanting things that you don't want and start pressuring.

Threads merged

well we have been dating 8 weeks and 3 days :) and he has already promised me that he will not pressure me and he isny an imature freak :rolleyes: he is actually the nicest guy you could meet :) My parents really like him and I don't live in any state I live in the uk so I don't know iff it is legal or illegal for me and him to date but my parents say its OK aslong as nothing happens and he has promise me and them that he won't until I am ready and iff I want to :D x

does age actually matter in a relationship ? Cos I don't care about age with me(13) and my boyfriend (16). But people at school seem to think it matters but does it really iff you love each other and promise nothing will happen until yous are BOTH ready not just one of yous? And iff the parents all know the age and that ? Please help me figure this out ?

It doesn't matter at all. There are people with way larger age gap than you two.

Like they say; age ain't nothing but a number.

Besides, you're too young to know what love is, no offense at all.

There's a HUGE difference between 13 and 16. At your age, even a year can make a big difference.

Look at it this way. In 2 years he'll be 18. You'll be 15. If you does ANYTHING even REMOTELY sexual with you after that point, then he can get charged with statutory rape and end up being listed as a rapist and child molester for the rest of his life. He will have to tell the police where he lives, and he won't be allowed to live in certain places. He'll be denied jobs. He won't be able to go into any career that involves children.

It doesn't matter that you SAY nothing will happen. All it takes his someone seeing you guys kiss after his 18th birthday.

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Originally Posted by ;

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taaam agrees : yeah of course, but it also depends on the country you live in.

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I'm assuming they're in the U.S. from the language used.

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Originally Posted by ilovehimm

Threads merged

well we have been dating 8 weeks and 3 days :) and he has already promised me that he will not pressure me and tbh he isny an imature freak :rolleyes: he is actually the nicest guy you could meet :) My parents really like him and i dont live in any state i live in the uk so i dunno iff it is legal or illegal for me and him to date but my parents say its ok aslong as nothing happens and he has promise me and them that he wont until i am ready and iff i want to :D x

does age actually matter in a relationship ? cos tbh i dont care about age with me(13) and my boyfriend (16). but people at school seem to think it matters but does it really iff you love each other and promise nothin will happen untill yous are BOTH ready not just one of yous? and iff the parents all know the age and that ? please help me figure this out ?

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I know you might not understand this but I will try to explain it. When he says he's not going to pressure you. He already IS pressuring you. Its already on his mind. And it may be in the back of your mind. That is not a good thing for either of you. You should be dating boys closer to your age group if at all. 3 years at your level is very great. You do understand he is almost an adult right? Is that what you want to be known as? A young girl that dates adults? Don't let yourself be fooled. Better to stop things BEFORE they go to far.

Why in gods name are you thinking about dating, and 'snogging' at the age of 13? I don't think I had a boyfriend till I was 15! For one thing You aren't of age of consent and you can get him in a lot of trouble, and your 13, you have YEARS and YEARS to find a boyfriend. And believe me hunny your not in love.
Your younger than my little brother is! Im sorry but it just makes me sick.

Ok, no idea of what "snogging" is but anyway,

1. no relationship is good if it is based on lies, ( lying to parents)

2. 8 weeks and talk already went sexual about "waiting" till ready, since that should be years in the future, since legal age is at least 16 almost anyway and even 18 in some places.
So the fact it was even discussed with a 13 year old is a big red flag that it is already on their mind

Well I don't know what Planet you live on but on earth people start dating and snogging when they are as young as 10. My first boyfriend was when I was 8 but obv we never kissed but my first kiss was when I was 12 so people start young now a days. And I know I'm not at the age of consent and I know he can get into trouble but iff nothing happens then he won't be in trouble now will he ? And I don't want to wait years and years to find a boyfriend iff I only want one and I have him and yeah he might be 16 but I love him and believe me hunny I am in love and I am different from youlittle brother so... and how can dating and snogging make you sick :S?

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Originally Posted by ilovehimm

Well i dunno what Planet you live on but on earth people start dating and snogging when they are as young as 10. My first boyfriend was when i was 8 but obv we never kissed but my first kiss was when i was 12 so people start young now a days. and i know im not at the age of consent and i know he can get into trouble but iff nothing happens then he wont be in trouble now will he ? and i dont want to wait years and years to find a boyfriend iff i only want one and i have him and yeah he might be 16 but i love him and believe me hunny i am in love and i am different from youlittle brother soo..... and how can dating and snogging make you sick :S?

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In many places what your doing already could be illegal. The age difference is too great at this time.

Here is just part of it.

The Act came into force on 2 July 1960, and Section 1 made it an offence to commit or incite an "act of gross indecency" with somebody under the age of fourteen. Anybody who commits such an offence was liable for imprisonment for up to two years on conviction after indictment.

In the eyes of the law. That would be "snooging"

OK you 2 have not been dating long enough and your definitely not mature enough to be 'in love' you may be 'in lust' but those are 2 completely DIFFERENT things. A 13 year old kissing/making out with someone (not just you but ANY 13 year old) makes me sick to think about. You definitely aren't at a proper maturity level to even be doing that kind of stuff. And your 'boy friend' says he'll wait? Haven't you ever heard: "guys only want one thing"? If the conversation has already gone to "oh i'll wait for when your ready" clearly that's what he wants. I am 19, MY time isn't that different from YOUR time. If people in my school at the age of 8 - 13, were 'snogging' each other I would find it rather disgusting. And my brother may be a bit different from you but he knows what's right and what's wrong.
Think of it this way:
Your dating a guy 3 years older than you.
So would you think it would be OK for YOU to date a 10 year old? Not likely.

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Originally Posted by britEl

OK you 2 have not been dating long enough and your definitely not mature enough to be 'in love' you may be 'in lust' but those are 2 completely DIFFERENT things. A 13 year old kissing/making out with someone (not just you but ANY 13 year old) makes me sick to think about. You definitely arent at a proper maturity level to even be doing that kind of stuff. And your 'boy friend' says he'll wait? Havent you ever heard: "guys only want one thing" ?? If the conversation has already gone to "oh i'll wait for when your ready" clearly thats what he wants. I am 19, MY time isnt that different from YOUR time. If people in my school at the age of 8 - 13, were 'snogging' eachother i would find it rather disgusting. And my brother may be a bit different from you but he knows whats right and whats wrong.
Think of it this way:
Your dating a guy 3 years older than you.
So would you think it would be ok for YOU to date a 10 year old? Not likely.

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Well sweetie we are in LOVE <3 and you don't live in on planet earth iff you think 13 year old and that don't snog and that its discusting because its actual kind of NORMAL! And yeah I've her boys only want one thing but he has told me he doesn't and the reason the conversation came up is because I brought it up not him he had never gave it a thought it was me who wanted to know iff he would wait because I would do *it* with him iff he wanted because he is like sooo mintit and I want to but I know I can't because of age diff and he doesn't want to :( and I know I'm dating a boy 3 years older and I wouldn't go with a 10 year old my my friend did before when she was 13 and he was 10 and now she is 19 and he is 16 and they are still together witch proves love is real and that iff your partner loves tou then they will wait for you to be ready because my friend donr it and my boyfriend promises :D

13 is too young to be dating and certainly should not be dating a 16 year old.
If he is telling you he'll wait until you're ready and is kissing you, he is wanting to get in your pants. That is the only reason a 16 year old boy would mess with a girl your age. He ought to be ashamed of himself.
There is a big difference between a 13 year and a 16 year old.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

13 is too young to be dating and certainly should not be dating a 16 year old.
If he is telling you he'll wait until you're ready and is kissing you, he is wanting to get in your pants. That is the only reason a 16 year old boy would mess with a girl your age. He ought to be ashamed of himself.
There is a big difference between a 13 year and a 16 year old.

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But the only reason he said he will wait is because I brought the subject up :o and I only brought it up because I want to do it but he doesn't :(:) and how is 13 too young to start dating people have started younger than me and have lasted for years :D And why is 13 and 16 a big difference when 17 and 20 isn't... look at it this way there is 3 years between a 13 year old and a 16 year old and there is also 3 years between a 17 year old and a 20 year old :/ so why does age matter now but not matter then? :confused:

It doesn't matter as much later because, when its 18 and 21, both are consenting adults! And while there is still a maturity gap, its much less than the maturity gap between a 13 year old and a 16 year old.

And brit is right. You're in lust, hun. You think you're in love and ready for sex? OK. Are you also ready to tell your mom you need the number for the gyno because you're sexually active and need your pap smear? Because that's what happens when you start having sex. You need to make sure you and your partner stay healthy. You need to go in for pap smears and should regularly be screened for stds. Some stds show no obvious symptoms so its very important to be tested before they do any long term damage to your reproductive system. And are you ready to talk to your dr about all of your birth control options? Do you even know what the most effective forms are? And how to use them? (if you were older I'd just tell you.) and only abstinence is 100% effective. So are you ready for what if your birth control fails? What if you do get pregnant? I know, it won't happen to you... go ask any of the teenage mothers around this site if they thought it would happen to them. I'm pretty sure they didn't. Then ask them how easy it is raising a child while finishing school.

You should not be dating a 16 year old. He has no business being interested in you. There's a reason you are called jail bait.

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Originally Posted by ilovehimm

But the only reason he said he will wait is because i brought the subject up :o and i only brought it up because tbh i want to do it but he doesn't :(:) and how is 13 too young to start dating people have started younger than me and have lasted for years :D And why is 13 and 16 a big difference when 17 and 20 isnt...look at it this way there is 3 years between a 13 year old and a 16 year old and there is also 3 years between a 17 year old and a 20 year old :/ so why does age matter now but not matter then ??:confused:

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There is a big difference between a 16 year old boy and a 13 year old girl. You are barely a teen.
Hormones, girl! Yours are kicking in. You need to stay away from him and him from you. Any 16 year with scruples would not be messing with a 13 year old.
You are infatuated and flattered and your hormones are working big time. That and a 16 year old boy is not a good mix.

Listen to what everybody is saying... they are saying it because it's the truth. I'm sorry but the truth hurts sometimes. Everything they are saying is nothing but the truth. If u really want to date find a guy your age

Well her own comments show the immature nature that she has. A child thinking they are grown. And actual english would be nice also. The boy is the only one with any sense, he does not want to be roomed with Bubba in jail I guess.

I wonder what type of home or mother a child with so much disrespect comes from

I agree with justcurious

Are you really ready to tell you mom you need to go on birth control and that you need to start buying condoms? Are you ready to go get a pap smear? (do you even know what that IS?) Are you in fact ready to take on the responsibility of a child? Because that's what sex leads to 'sweetie'! If your already talking to guys about sex, I honestly cannot imagine what your life is going to be like when you my age. I know girls who had children at the age of 17 and their lives are now all about their baby, NO education, NO life, because they have to take responsibility and deal with their actions.

Also 17 and 20 year olds are around the same maturity level. You on the other hand are just BEGINNING to mature. And by the looks of how you act on here you seem extremely immature, extremely naïve, and you really have NO CLUE what you are getting into.

Your boyfriend may 'promise' now, but promises break, and do you really think that a 16 year old boy, with plenty of mature, attractive growing girls are going to be committed to a 13 year old. I highly doubt it.

I'm honestly not trying to be rude or mean, what I have to say MAY seem harsh, but it's important you listen, before you make a life changing mistake.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

There is a big difference between a 16 year old boy and a 13 year old girl. You are barely a teen.
Hormones, girl! yours are kicking in. You need to stay away from him and him from you. Any 16 year with scruples would not be messing with a 13 year old.
You are infatuated and flattered and your hormones are working big time. That and a 16 year old boy is not a good mix.

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No there isn't. The difference is EXACTLY the same as a 17 year old and 20 year old but that doesn't seam to be bad :S which I donot understand :S:/ I know I have hormones and that mines are just kicking in but I cannot stay away from him because iff I stay away fromhim I feel like my life is a mess and that I may as well kill myself :( because my life is nothing without him :( and I need him

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Well her own comments show the immature nature that she has. A child thinking they are grown. And actual english would be nice also. The boy is the only one with any sense, he does not want to be roomed with Bubba in jail I guess.

I wonder what type of home or mother a child with so much disrespect comes from

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Omg I use actual english :) and I come from a GREAT home and an amazing mum and how the do I have a lot of disrespect :mad:

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Originally Posted by britEl

I agree with justcurious

Are you really ready to tell you mom you need to go on birth control and that you need to start buying condoms? Are you ready to go get a pap smear? (do you even know what that IS?) Are you in fact ready to take on the responsibility of a child? Because thats what sex leads to 'sweetie'! If your already talking to guys about sex, i honestly cannot imagine what your life is going to be like when you my age. I know girls who had children at the age of 17 and their lives are now all about their baby, NO education, NO life, because they have to take responsibility and deal with their actions.

Also 17 and 20 year olds are around the same maturity level. You on the other hand are just BEGINNING to mature. And by the looks of how you act on here you seem extremely immature, extremely naive, and you really have NO CLUE what you are getting into.

Your boyfriend may 'promise' now, but promises break, and do you really think that a 16 year old boy, with plenty of mature, attractive growing girls are going to be committed to a 13 year old. I highly doubt it.

im honestly not trying to be rude or mean, what i have to say MAY seem harsh, but it's important you listen, before you make a life changing mistake.

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Well I already have condoms and its too late now because I am pregnant :S and I don't care it just means that I have a gawjuss boyfriend and a gawjuss baby and I am moving out because my dad doesn't want to see me because I betraded him so I am moving in with my gawjuss boyfriend :D

I have a few years and life experience on you so I think I know what I'm talking about. I hve been there done that and have raised a daughter that has been there.

A 17 year old is approaching adulthood as is a 20 year old. You are barely in your teens and whether you believe it or not the maturity level between a 13 year old and a 16 year old is vast. Whether you want to believe it or not, this 16 year old boy has no business messing with you.

This kind of "I can't live without him" crush you have on this boy is typical for a 13 year old. You will live without him and I can guarantee there will be someone else you'll think you can't live without as well.
You want to be told this is OK and I don't think anyone here is going to tell you that, so you may want to listen to the age old, mature advice you have received.
You have asked us what we think and you have our answer, whether you like it or not.

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Originally Posted by ilovehimm

well i already have condoms and tbh its too late now because i am pregnant :S and tbh i dont care it just means that i have a gawjuss bf and a gawjuss baby and i am moving out because my dad doesnt want to see me because i betraded him so i am moving in with my gawjuss bf :D

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Well that's too bad. This boy got what he wanted from you. He got in your pants.
I hope this is not true though because a 13 year old pregnant girl without the support of her family is not going to be fun.

Well if you where 18 you couldn't

Yea, condoms can still break and plus your clearly still only a baby yourself. He might leave you.

So all this business about him saying he is not going to touch you until you are ready was just a lie, or is your being pregnant a lie?

Either way you are playing a dangerous game young lady.

Homegirl50 that's good to ask. But I'm just asking is this entire post a lie.

And don't angry please I have a heart.

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Originally Posted by The Dark09

Homegirl50 thats good to ask. But im just asking is this entire post a lie.

And don't angry please i have a heart.

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Having a heart has nothing to do with it - you are out of line.

The OP has posted several different versions of her life on at least two different threads and is barely literate.

Please don't criticize people who are doing their best to separate the truth from the lies and giving advice based on life experience.

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Originally Posted by The Dark09

Homegirl50 thats good to ask. But im just asking is this entire post a lie.

And don't angry please i have a heart.

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I have a heart too, I am a mom, but I also have a brain.
This young lady's post is too conflicting and has too many contradictions, so I'm wondering how much of it is true.

Me too, because if all of this is a lie, why did she create this post for.

There are people who love attention, people who see this a being a funny thing to do, and there are those who are just confused people.
I'm not saying it is a lie, I'm simply questioning some of it. She started saying one thing and then there has been sex and she's pregnant. So unless she knows something we don't know and she got pregnant a couple of days ago, it's all rather suspect.

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Originally Posted by The Dark09

me too, because if all of this is a lie, why did she create this post for.

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I don't know - why did you post this? It's not a question and you're 16, living with your parents. I don't see how you are making a decision to move or note move.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/moving...ml#post2326125

It's the same thing - no one knows why anyone does things.

As far as you having a heart and (apparently) thinking no one else does - sometimes you also have to use your brain.

Love,
How is it that less than a week ago you swore there was nothing more than kissing going on and you two were going to wait until you were older and ready for sex. And now today you're pregnant? One part of your story has to be a lie. Which is it? If you were a virgin a week ago there is no possible way you could be pregnant and actually know that you are today. Now I'm thinking you really must not have had an sex education at all yet. So I'm being entirely serious when I say this, let me explain to you how making babies most commonly goes...

When you have sex, his sperm can live inside your body for up to nearly a week. So you may not conceive the day you have sex. You may not actually conceive until about 5 days later. And then its just a waiting game. Some home pregnancy tests claim to be able to give you accurate test results up to 5 days before your missed period. But even with those ones, that still at least a few weeks of waiting and even if the first test is negative, its recommended that you take another one if you actually miss your period. And sometimes even when you've missed your period, you still have to wait another week to take a test. And sometimes there's other reasons your period is late. So you spend weeks worrying that you're pregnant and being stressed out, which can also make your period late-the stress.

So that's how I know that either you weren't a virgin and lied to us before about there being no sex. Or you're lying to us now and you don't know if you're really pregnant or not. Or you're lying and still a virgin and there's no way you're pregnant.

And just in case you are pregnant, your father can't just kick you out. If he did, I'd recommend calling child services. Although I have to warn you, if it all came to that your boyfriend has a good shot at being arrested for statutory rape because the authorities would have to get involved to help you make sure you and your baby got the proper care and adequate housing (even if its consensual, in the eyes of the law, it's a form of rape because you are considered to be too young to consent to it. Like it or not, that's the law).

And what does gawjuss mean?? That does not sound like english...

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Well that's too bad. This boy got what he wanted from you. He got in your pants.
I hope this is not true though because a 13 year old pregant girl without the support of her family is not going to be fun.

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I have suport frommy family :) my boyfriends mum and dad :D they are like my new parents and they are amazing :) and he didn't get what he wanted :/ I got what I wanted :)

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

So all this business about him saying he is not going to touch you until you are ready was just a lie, or is your being pregnant a lie?

Either way you are playing a dangerous game young lady.

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Well the him not touching me wasn't a lie because we were at his and like it was just the 2 of us because his parents were out shopping :) so we were watching a dvd and we started talking about a few rumours that's going around school and he said imnot like that babe I wouldn't touch you that way until you are old enough then a little while later he said he would do ANYTHING for me so I said would you sleep with me and he said ehmm no because of the age and I'm like please babe and I leaned inand kissed him and I kind of took it frm there ;)

Wait you wanted to get pregnant, why?

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

There are people who love attention, people who see this a being a funny thing to do, and there are those who are just confused people.
I'm not saying it is a lie, I'm simply questioning some of it. She started out saying one thing and then there has been sex and she's pregnant. So unless she knows something we don't know and she got pregnant a couple of days ago, it's all rather suspect.

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Listen I posted this because I was wondering peoples opinions and none of this is a lie. I found out yesterday I was pregnant because I had actually slept with him the day after I posted this thingy :o so I'm sorry that yous all think this is a lie but its not .

Wow. So in less than a week, you lost your virginity, confirmed that you're pregnant, and moved in with your boyfriends family almost over night and aren't even showing any signs of concern about finishing school, having money for the baby stuff, hospital bills and visits, or your ex best friend (from your other thread) beating you up. Is that right? I'm still not buying this. I think you're making up at least half, if not all of this stuff up.

It's impossible to find out you're pregnant 3 days after having sex.