Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Teens (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=327)
-   -   What's between a kiss and sex. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=385932)

  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:09 PM
    DaniDanDan123
    What's between a kiss and sex.
    I've been with this boy for nearly 4 months now and he is getting really serious about our relationship. He said to me a while ago that he wanted me to give him a blow job. But I said no because it was just way too soon, so he and I forgot about that. Now I thought I want more than a kiss but not give him a blow job. So have youu got any ideas what we could do, more than a kiss! Help please. Thanks.
    D x
  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:15 PM
    kctiger

    How old are you Dani?
  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:23 PM
    talaniman

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...im-360627.html,

    I thought you guts broke up in June because you didn't like him?
  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:24 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kctiger View Post
    How old are you Dani?

    I'm wondering the same thing.

    There's a lot between a kiss and sex, but are you ready for any of it?

    What are you looking for in this relationship? Are you old enough, mature enough, to handle more then just a kiss?
  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:28 PM
    DaniDanDan123

    Ok I'm 14 nearly 15.
    Well what happened I was with him but we broke up, then I just couldn't be away from him and I knew I couldn't get over him.
    Im just kind of past kiss, but I would do it but I'm too afraid to do it!
  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:29 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by DaniDanDan123 View Post
    Ok im 14 nearly 15.
    Well what happened i was with him but we broke up, then i just couldnt be away from him and i knew i couldnt get over him.
    Im just kinda past kiss, but i would do it but im too afraid to do it!

    You're too young to do anything other then kissing and holding hands.

    You do realize that STD's can be transmitted through oral sex, right?
  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:30 PM
    kctiger

    I would suggest learning to deal with your own feelings WITHOUT him in your life. It is almost as if you are letting your insecurities force you into doing sexual things to a guy because you are lonely... slow down!!

    On a side note, how old is your boyfriend? Don't know too many 14 or 15 year olds that actually ASK for a blow job.
  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:34 PM
    DaniDanDan123

    Yeah I no but I don't know how to get him of the idea.. I don't want to say no cause I really like him. But OK I meant not oral cause I don't want to give him a BJ but what about between kiss and oral then?
  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:36 PM
    kctiger

    Hold hands, snug, cuddle, do all that stuff. Leave the rest for a different time. If you aren't comfortable enough to do it without asking, then DON'T. You don't have to be extremely physical to share a bond... sometimes less is more.
  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:36 PM
    DaniDanDan123
    He's the same age a month or 2 older but he didn't ask for it, he is very shy he kind of just said he'd like more than kiss and I said same and he said what about BJ?
  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:36 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by DaniDanDan123 View Post
    yeah i no but i dont know how to get him of the idea .. i dont want to say no cause i really like him. But ok i meant not oral cause i dont want to give him a BJ but what about between kiss and oral then??

    What did you have in mind? What do you think is between a kiss and oral?

    Are you ready for any of it?

    If you really like him and he likes you then telling him you're not ready shouldn't be a big deal. Heck, it's a test to see how much he really does like you. If you say no and he breaks up with you, then he's not worth your time anyway.
  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:37 PM
    DaniDanDan123
    We do all that, and its just dead now and kind of boring.
  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:39 PM
    kctiger

    Until he is man enough to have a baby tell him to keep it in his pants. I know I am not your father but mature a bit before thinking about rounding third.
  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:40 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by DaniDanDan123 View Post
    we do all that, and its just dead now and kinda boring.

    So there's nothing else to your relationship except the physical aspect?

    Not good.

    What do the two of you have in common?

    Do you do anything other then kiss and snuggle etc?

    Sounds like it's time to call it quits.
  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:41 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kctiger View Post
    Until he is man enough to have a baby tell him to keep it in his pants. I know I am not your father but mature a bit before thinking about rounding third.

    Heck, don't even go to second! ;)
  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:44 PM
    DaniDanDan123

    No we always chat. And I love our chats!
  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:47 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by DaniDanDan123 View Post
    No we always chat. And i love our chats!

    Then stick to chatting instead of moving on to more adult behavior.

    You're not ready. How do I know? Because of your posts, the fact that you're 14 and you've only been with him a short while.

    Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, it will happen soon enough.

    Take it from someone that didn't listen and did do things I wasn't ready for.

    If you take the next step then it won't be long before he wants to go even further.

    Slow down, enjoy your teen years, wait until you're older and ready.
  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:50 PM
    DaniDanDan123

    Yeah. ThankYouu all for the advice. X
  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:55 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by DaniDanDan123 View Post
    yeah. ThankYouu all for the advice. x

    Why do I have the feeling that a few months from now you'll be posting because you think you're pregnant?

    It never ends.

    I hope that you make the right decision.

    Good luck.
  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:58 PM
    DaniDanDan123

    HaaHaa, don't worry I really would not go there I don't want that till I'm way older.
    Thank you, + he hasn't spoke about it in ages so I think he's over that.
  • Aug 11, 2009, 05:59 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by DaniDanDan123 View Post
    HaaHaa, dont worry i really would not go there i dont want that till im way older.
    ThankYou, + he hasnt spoke about it in ages so i think hes over that.

    Well that's good news. :)

    We're here if you want to talk. Just remember, you're only 14 once, so enjoy it, but not too much. ;)
  • Aug 12, 2009, 04:58 PM
    HelpinHere
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by DaniDanDan123;
    he said what about BJ??

    Yeah, that is asking for it.

    I'm just wondering, if you broke up with him because you didn't like him, how is "then i just couldnt be away from him and i knew i couldnt get over him" a reason to take him back?

    Yes, you can be away from him. I'm sure of that.
    You could get over him. You already were, if you are the one who broke up with him. It is his place to get over you.

    Curious, you never did say that you ever started liking him again, so why take him back?

    You say that the relationship is dead because you've already huggled him. You say you like your chats. Friends chat. Couples TALK.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by DaniDanDan123;
    + he hasnt spoke about it in ages so i think hes over that

    Just think about it. He brought it up, so you know he thinks about it. The fact that you think about it even now proves that he thinks about it much more. Every guy thinks about it (it's true) but some have more respect and don't try to ask you to do something too early. And that was WAY too early. He's not over it, he's just trying to time it right so when he brings it up again you'll say yes.

    It sounds to me like you only took him back because you wanted someone to do something physical with. I understand, everyone needs someone to hold. Why don't you find someone who fits you better, and won't even bring this stuff up until he knows you're ready.
    Find someone who respects you more, and someone who you can actually connect with. It will make your life a whole lot easier. Other than that, listen to Alt, she knows what she's talking about. :)
  • Aug 12, 2009, 06:11 PM
    emzieXxX
    Deleted for chat/text and poor spelling.

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...ens-board.html
  • Aug 13, 2009, 04:23 PM
    DaniDanDan123

    Well everyone, I'm not with this boy now cause he is all in to sex and wants to do it. So I had to do it and break up with him. So I am starting of the new school year fresh and single :) thank you all for the help. But that's it now. But spesh thanks to... Altenweg. You helped me out the most thank you
    Dani x
  • Aug 13, 2009, 04:29 PM
    HelpinHere

    Well, that's good. Everyone said he wasn't good for you. Just glad you learned that before it was too late.

    And YAY Alt! :)
  • Aug 13, 2009, 04:30 PM
    N0help4u


    Good for you!!
    The thing is that if you start kissing a guy he often interprets that as you want more and he will take it as far as he can. You have to make sure you tell him upfront that your limit is__________ and stick to it.
    Like NOTHING that requires undoing jeans or below the waist.
    At 15 you don't want to start getting too carried away and end up with the wrong reputation.
    Stick to your virtues and integrity they are way worth more than compromising to TRY and keep any guy.
  • Aug 13, 2009, 04:38 PM
    HelpinHere

    Also, I'd like to say thank you for coming back to update. Too many leave us wondering "did she go and do something stupid?"

    :)
  • Aug 13, 2009, 06:57 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by DaniDanDan123 View Post
    well everyone, im not with this boy now cause he is all in to sex and wants to do it. So i had to do it and break up with him. So i am starting of the new school year fresh and single :) thankyou all for the help. But thats it now. but spesh thanks to ... Altenweg. You helped me out the most thankyou
    Dani x

    Made me blush. :o

    No problem Dani, I'm glad that you decided to move on. :)
  • Aug 14, 2009, 08:35 AM
    DaniDanDan123

    Thank you to youu all for the support.
    :)
    Dani.
    And many thanks to you HelpinHere :)
    Altenweg, your awesome :)
  • Aug 16, 2009, 09:27 PM
    bubbletea123

    Hey, I know your problem has been resolved, and congrats to you! I'm glad you made the right decision, but don't think that all guys are just into sex! I'm 19, and my boyfriend and I have been together since we were both 13, and we still haven't had sex yet (neither of us are religious, so it's not that). What kept us together was finding things we enjoyed doing together. We still find time for it, even through our university workload. A relationship definitely doesn't have to be sexual, especially when you're a teen (yes I'm still one, since I'm nineTEEN). What's between a kiss and sex? So so much! Anyway, enjoy your new school year, and good luck! (:
  • Aug 16, 2009, 09:30 PM
    N0help4u

    Its refreshing to see kids with values and integrity
  • Aug 16, 2009, 09:32 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    Its refreshing to see kids with values and integrity

    It really is.

    Every time someone posts here I cringe, expecting the worst.

    It's nice to see a post by a teen that offers good advice.

    Bravo.

    Makes me proud. :)
  • Aug 16, 2009, 09:55 PM
    HelpinHere

    :eek: GASP :eek:

    You cringe at my posts, Alt? You make me feel so un-loved... :(

    *cries in the corner*
  • Aug 16, 2009, 09:57 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by HelpinHere View Post
    :eek: GASP :eek:

    You cringe at my posts, Alt? You make me feel so un-loved... :(

    *cries in the corner*

    You're another good teen.

    Silly boy. ;)

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:52 PM.