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    DaniDanDan123's Avatar
    DaniDanDan123 Posts: 52, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Jun 2, 2009, 10:41 AM
    How do I tell him?
    Heya. Well I have been in a relationship for 1month now, and I know that's just a beginning of a relationship but I feel like I don't love or like him. He means a lot to me but I just don't feel Love like I have in a previous relationship. I know we'r only young but my boyfriend is very very passionate and when it comes up to the break up he says he just wants to die :( he always says he couldn't live without me and I'm the only thing that matters to him now! I don't want to hurt him at all, but I know that's what I'm going to have to do. I have to break up with him, but please help me on how to break up with him pleasntly and not something to break his heart. Many Thanks.

    Dani x
    ZoeMarie's Avatar
    ZoeMarie Posts: 2,049, Reputation: 468
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    #2

    Jun 2, 2009, 10:45 AM

    I don't think there's a way to break up with him without breaking his heart. Someone almost always gets hurt in a breakup. You might as well do it sooner rather than later so he doesn't become even more attached. Everything will work out. You can't force yourself to love someone. It's not your fault.
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
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    #3

    Jun 2, 2009, 10:47 AM

    1 month and he says he will die with out you? It is good you want to get out of this. Just tell him the truth don't dance around it. He is going to be hurt if you let him down gently or drop him like a bad habit. Just be straight forward.
    DaniDanDan123's Avatar
    DaniDanDan123 Posts: 52, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Jun 2, 2009, 11:09 AM

    Thank you both very much. I know that I will hurt him, I won't have a choice I just don't know when or how, =( thanks!!
    Dani x
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
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    #5

    Jun 2, 2009, 11:15 AM

    I wouldn't normally suggest this but you might want to do it over the phone. It's only been a month so it is really not a serious relationship and he sounds a little to obsessed.
    ZoeMarie's Avatar
    ZoeMarie Posts: 2,049, Reputation: 468
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    #6

    Jun 2, 2009, 11:16 AM

    As soon as possible. It doesn't sound like you want to prolong this for very long. Tonight? Tomorrow? Right now?
    DaniDanDan123's Avatar
    DaniDanDan123 Posts: 52, Reputation: 2
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    #7

    Jun 2, 2009, 11:18 AM

    Yeah, that would be a good idea cause I can't really stand it when a boy crys over it, and I know that's what is going to happen. Im breaking up with him also though because we keep having fights and I don't want to hurt him anymore so I don't know how to say it to him, like how to put it.
    Thanks again
    Dani x
    ZoeMarie's Avatar
    ZoeMarie Posts: 2,049, Reputation: 468
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    #8

    Jun 2, 2009, 11:23 AM

    you're welcome =). Good luck!
    DaniDanDan123's Avatar
    DaniDanDan123 Posts: 52, Reputation: 2
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    #9

    Jun 2, 2009, 11:24 AM

    Yeah also I mean I don't want to just catch him off guard, I don't want him to think everythings fine then I just say that we can't be together anymore. Is there anyway that I could make him feel the same? Or maybe know or think its coming? (the break up)
    DaniDanDan123's Avatar
    DaniDanDan123 Posts: 52, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #10

    Jun 2, 2009, 11:24 AM
    Thank you ZoeMarie, I think I'm going to need it, hehe.
    X
    DaniDanDan123's Avatar
    DaniDanDan123 Posts: 52, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #11

    Jun 2, 2009, 11:37 AM

    please answer this =)
    Yeah also I mean I don't want to just catch him off guard, I don't want him to think everythings fine then I just say that we can't be together anymore. Is there anyway that I could make him feel the same? Or maybe know or think its coming? (the break up)
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
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    #12

    Jun 2, 2009, 12:05 PM

    So I assume that he assumes everything is fine. Well start the conversion with hey (insert name) we have to talk. Once you say "we have to talk" he is going to know everything is not OK. Just tell him why you don't want to be with him anymore but don't be mean.

    He will probably say it can change and he can make it better but be strong and say look I just don't see a future and don't give the we can still be friends because that will leave him with a shimmer of hope that the relationship can be saved.
    Lonelyandbroken's Avatar
    Lonelyandbroken Posts: 118, Reputation: 15
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    #13

    Jun 2, 2009, 12:06 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by DaniDanDan123 View Post
    please answer this =)
    Yeah also i mean i don't want to just catch him off gaurd, i dont want him to think everythings fine then i just say that we can't be together anymore. is there anyway that i could make him feel the same? Or maybe know or think its coming? (the break up)
    Chances are no matter what you do your going to catch him off guard. It's more than likely going to be a shock to him no matter what when or how you do it. Just try to be respectful and treat him like a person. Not some trash to be tossed away.

    And be honest.
    ZoeMarie's Avatar
    ZoeMarie Posts: 2,049, Reputation: 468
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    #14

    Jun 2, 2009, 01:47 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by DaniDanDan123 View Post
    Yeah also i mean i don't want to just catch him off gaurd, i dont want him to think everythings fine then i just say that we can't be together anymore. is there anyway that i could make him feel the same? Or maybe know or think its coming? (the break up)
    It sounds like he's really into you, I don't know how you would go about making him feel the same way. You may just have to catch him off guard. You never know if you do hint that you're going to break up with him, he may lay a guilt trip on you and try to convince you otherwise.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #15

    Jun 3, 2009, 08:32 AM

    Its like pulling a band-aid from an old wound, just do it asap and feel the pain later. Sorry, no way around the pain of a break up.

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