Now I have no way to contact anyone because SHE WENT THROUGH MY ROOM AND READ MY JOURNALS AND MY EMAILS!! SHE WENT THROUGH EVERYTHING@!! I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER!! I wouldn't be surprised if she strip searched me!

She told me that:
"Nothing is private and nothing is yours when no one trusts you."

That isn't right those things are my thoughts, my heart, so I felt like I had to shred them. So, I shredded all my journals, my poems, everything because it is my business my life and my thoughts and I don't want her knowing them because she always uses them against me, when I did talk to her about the way I was feeling, like blackmailing.

Now she found a stupid note in my room about how my boyfriend told me he loved me and that he didn't want me to be mad at him and Aaron, for Aaron's little brother getting on a writing an inappropriate message, and that he would talk to my mom about the situation and I told him to save his breath because my mom won't listen and he tod me tp f*** my mom because he has seen the way she treats me and he doesn't like it one little bit. But, anyway she found the note called his mom and I think my mom might make me break up with him and then I'd be so furious at her I wouldn't be able to even talk to her no matter what the punishment.


WHAT DO I DO??

Step 1 : Calm down. Your still living! Moms sometimes get a little curious and worried about there daughters. What I would do in your situation is show your mom who you really are, do what is right:D and tell her that you love her, but you would perfer not to go through your personal stuff... but don't give her any worries to do so either. Hope this helps:D

What prompted your mother to not trust you?

There is apparently more to this story.

I agree Justwantfair, I know if I did something totally out of the normal, that my mom would do anything to know what was going so she can control the situation. Mothers really want there daughters to kind of look good for them I guess you can say. When a daughter makes a wrong choice it puts a mother to shame, she feels like she hasn't raised you good enough.

My mother did this once. I remember it plain as day...

... but you know what? Now that I'm almost *gasp* 30, I look back and see what led her to that point. I had done something and it was a "punishment fit for the crime."

Your mother loves you. She wants to protect you.

What is the back story to this one... there's a whole lot more than what you shared. You shared the "consequences" as it were, what were the actions?

Math_dude has it right. You need to calm down.

Tell us more...

Here is part of the story

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...me-317988.html

Uh... well I hope its not exaggeration... because teens seem to do that a lot. But I'm sorry if its true.

:/ You should talk to someone you trust.. you need to let your thoughts and frustrations out to someone and not the computer.

My mum used to do stuff like that but I understand why now. If you haven't actually done anything then that's not right.

To be honest, the only thing you can do if you know she's never going to change is to keep your head down, don't be cheaky and talk back and do well in school, go to uni and move out.

Good Luck

Maybe you need to talk to your mom more. Get a closer relationship to her and let her know what's going on in your life, right now this does not seem like the right thing to do but once you mature you will understand her reasons for treating you in this way. Especially down the road when you too become a mother and you are put in the same position as your mother. Try to calm down and go talk to your mom, can't hurt to try. Right?

My mom does the same thing. Its so annoying. She reads my diaries and poems and every little note.

Ok, now you destroyed all of your own notes and letters ( she had already looked) so now you destroyed your own memories for really no reason other than being angry.

Often the issue is that something happens to cause mistrust, either by close friends or other family or something you did perhaps.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Justwantfair

What prompted your mother to not trust you?

There is apparently more to this story.

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Well that is just it... I DON'T KNOW! I have asked her and asked her and she won't tell me until I pressure her enough but when she finally does she'll say one thing and then tell me something different within a few minutes and it is stupid.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by math_dude16

I agree Justwantfair, i know if i did something totally out of the normal, that my mom would do anything to know what was going so she can control the situation. Mothers really want there daughters to kind of look good for them i guess you can say. When a daughter makes a wrong choice it puts a mother to shame, she feels like she hasn't raised you good enough.

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But here is another thing she has only known me for almost a year. And I have given her no reason not to trust me.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by math_dude16

uh...well i hope its not exaggeration...cuz teens seem to do that a lot. but i'm sorry if its true.

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I SWEAR ON EVERYTHING THAT THIS IS NOT AN EXAGGERATION! I wouldn't lie about this I have been through enough hurt and pain in my life I'm not going to stand by and let more happen to me.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mommy102808

Maybe you need to talk to your mom more. Get a closer relationship to her and let her know what's going on in your life, right now this does not seem like the right thing to do but once you mature you will understand her reasons for treating you in this way. Especially down the road when you too become a mother and you are put in the same position as your mother. Try to calm down and go talk to your mom, can't hurt to try. Right?

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Wrong. It can hurt to talk to her. Because she just yells, blackmails me, she sometimes threatens me and I don't know her very well so it scares me and then my grandpa gets in it and yells at me more. It is mental/emotional trama for me and I don't need it I have enough problems of my own dealing with the scars from my past life.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Ok, now you destroyed all of your own notes and letters ( she had already looked) so now you destroyed your own memories for really no reason other than being angry.

Often the issue is that something happens to cause mistrust, either by close friends or other family or something you did perhaps.

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She says that she hasn't read all of my journal entries because I have too many but she read a few everyday so I shredded them before she could read them all. And I want to cause her as much pain as she has been causing me.

Your mom can't mind her business because you are her business. She has the right to go through your things without your permission until you become an adult and live on your own and is paying your own way.

You mig hate her now but when you grow up you will understand things much better and understand by she did what she did.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by liz28

Your mom can't mind her business because you are her business. She has the right to go through your things without your permission until you become an adult and live on your own and is paying your own way.

You mig hate her now but when you grow up you will understand things much better and understand by she did what she did.

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I don't agree completely, Whilst going through someone's room can be seen as acceptable if you have reason to not trust someone, a journal/diary is always off limit in my opinion. It's a place where someone can record their inner most feelings, thoughts and secrets, to read it without permission is like trying to force your way into their head.

Your mom has issues and is controlling..
Even though she is your mother I believe she has no right to go through your things unless you give her permission...
Doesn't she know she is damaging your relationship with her??

Learn from this situation so that you can be a better mom to your kids...

Take care..

Quote:

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Originally Posted by liz28

Your mom can't mind her business because you are her business. She has the right to go through your things without your permission until you become an adult and live on your own and is paying your own way.

You mig hate her now but when you grow up you will understand things much better and understand by she did what she did.

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Well I don't think so especially considering my past. All of my memories, all of my coping skils were in those 4 little journals and she went through them and I am NOT letting her get in my head because she uses EVERYTHING against me and I just can't do it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rich11111

I don't agree completely, Whilst going through someones room can be seen as acceptable if you have reason to not trust someone, a journal/diary is always off limit in my opinion. Its a place where someone can record their inner most feelings, thoughts and secrets, to read it without permission is like trying to force your way into their head.

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Yeah and in my case they hold my memories of everything my coping skills for trama like this and it is my life it helps me calm myself down it helps me sleep and reduce my stress levels.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by unspeaken21

Your mom has issues and is controlling..
Even though she is your mother i believe she has no right to go through your things unless you give her permission...
Doesn't she know she is damaging your relationship with her???

Learn from this situation so that you can be a better mom to your kids...

Take care..

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I've tried to explain it to her but then she just yells and stomps and threatens and blackmails even more. So I'm trying to get emancipated but I hope that it is still possible.

Its not like your hiding something that you did not want her to see she is your MOM she has rights to do that stuff till you 18 so let her do her mother job and if your 18 you can sue or tattletale on her for reading privit messages if it helps you so wait till your 18yrs old then she has to stop by law OK now be happy.

Hey mizz on her own..

I want you to know that I don't agree with the people who say that just because she is your mom she has the right to do what she is doing... I really don't agree with that..

There should be some level of respect in each relationship..

I read your other thread and you are a very strong girl.. Im sorry your life is not the way you would like it to be...

The whole emancipation thing is up to you, I really don't know what to say...

All you really can do now is just endure what happens..

Sooner than later you will have control over your life.. so let that be the motivation to keep you going through the days..

Good luck

I wish you the best..

Quote:

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Originally Posted by unspeaken21

Your mom has issues and is controlling..
Even though she is your mother i believe she has no right to go through your things unless you give her permission...
Doesn't she know she is damaging your relationship with her???

Learn from this situation so that you can be a better mom to your kids...

Take care..

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I am her mother and yes I am controlling and have issues and they are my 15 year old has treatened to hurt herself... lies about what she is doing and who she is with... and has been caught with a boy when I dropped her off at the movies with a girlfriend... so maybe you should learn from this to be a better parent to your kids... don't believe everything you hear and if you believe your kids are making destructive choice do what you can to find out before their choice hurt them and others.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jcompton1272

I am her mother and yes I am controlling and have issues and they are my 15 year old has treatened to hurt herself....lies about what she is doing and who she is with....and has been caught with a boy when I dropped her off at the movies with a girlfriend....so maybe you should learn from this to be a better parent to your kids....don't believe everything you hear and if you believe your kids are making destructive choice do what you can to find out before their choice hurt them and others.

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You sound like her mom...
This is the only place she can be free and honest so she can talk away all her hurt and pain and, not surprisingly, you still find a way to tear her emotionally all over again.. Great job! (Please not the sarcasm)

She threatened to hurt herself because she is so sick of you, you caused her to act the way she does... Its all because of you..

She lies about what she is doing because you ruined the communication part between you two..
Tell me how can a daughter talk to her mom when her mom:
-has issues and is controlling; and takes out her issues onto her kids
-hurts her emotionally (I hope not physically)
-doesnt listen to a work the daughter says
-has already made up her mind that her daughter is not a good person
-has made her daughter scared to communicate with her mom
-is a bad mom and the daughter despises the mom
-has given her daughter no reason to come up and start a conversation with the mother, because the daughter knows her mom will just blame her and not listen to a word the daughter will say...
- and many more reasons..


So she has been caught with a boy, don't you think there could have been a more civil way that you could have approached the matter to her than whatever way you did..

She doesn't tell you the truth because you don't let her... You already have it accustomed to react negatively towards her...
And she doesn't open up to you because she doesn't like you

I definitely have learned from this, my mom is as evil as you.. and because of that our relationship has turned to nothing. So yes, I have learned from it because I will not do your mistakes and my mothers mistakes when I grow up.. My greatest fear is to be like a mother who is exactly like you.. Im going to care for my kids and support them in a way that you will never know because you are too stubborn to admit that how you have behaved has ultimately damaged your daughter and the relationship between you and your daughter..


Ya I don't believe everything I hear... She might not be an "angel child" but she is not all to blame for that.. Kids are who they are mostly because of their parents.. Don't you know that you have the greatest influence on her life? It's a shame you wrecked it for her...

I really believe that unconditional love does not exist within some mothers...

You need to learn to blame yourself ones in a while...

It so easy to blame your daughter and accuse her for everything that's gone wrong, but you know she is the scapegoat in all of this...

You need to learn to trust her