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BERNIE39 · May 10, 2007, 04:47 AM

I am 39, the guy I have been dating for 5 yrs is 62, he is good looking, very smart, funny, he is quite capable of taking care of himself(financially, physically). I have not met any of his kids(except one, Jen and I have been friends for 8 yrs), I met his brother by accident, he has asked me to meet his sister a few times but always changes his mind. We go and have lunch, dinner, or a few drinks together, but he has never asked me to go to a wedding, cook-out, weekend getaways(when he goes), a birthday party(for his grandkids), or any social gathering.
He has met all of my family members, including my son(he likes him). I was married for 14 yrs. I believe he has feelings for me, but I don't think it's enough feeling for me. I'm thinking maybe it's time to tell him, goodbye. I do deserve more than what he is giving me, but at the same time, we really have an excellent time together, we are a lot alike, have excellent conversations and even better conversation when we are discussing something we disagree on(politics, education, anything). Any opinions would be highly appreciated.:confused: but:)

Krs · May 10, 2007, 05:01 AM

Does he know how u feel about this?

shygrneyzs · May 10, 2007, 05:03 AM

I truly think you should have a sit down talk with him and tell him just what you have said here. You enjoy his company, are compatible on many levels, and it looks well on the outside. Then you have those missing pieces - why doesn't he have you meet his family and friends? Why hasn't he asked you to accompany him to social gatherings and events? I am sure it makes you feel like he is hiding you. That would make me feel like he has some mysterious double life.

It is not like you two just met. You have some significant time in this relationship and are reasonable in wanting more out from him, in regards to what he truly wants. I think it is reasonable to ask him where does he want the relationship to go? Where does he see you two in the next year? Why does he appear to be emotionally distant? He ought to know you pretty well by now.

Write all your feelings down on paper, your questions regarding the relationship, the benefits of and negatives of being a couple, and your needs. You can use those thoughts as a springboard for discussion with him. It could well be he is holding back because he thinks that you do not want more. But you will never know unless you have "the talk" with him.

Wishing you the best.