This is a lot of questions
Originally Posted by
ceriphante
why do you ;
1 - let your partner treat you like a doormat ?
I've been in this situation twice. The first time, I let her do it as a way of making up for something I'd done. I didn't do it to her, in fact it was before I even met her, but for some reason, I still felt that I owed her something for it. A delusion that she let me keep, really.
The second time, it was simply a matter of not being assertive in a relationship that we saw very differently. Rather than end it, I just kind of coasted on passively. It was just easier that way.
2 - fear talking to a member of the opposite sex ?
Sexual harassment complaints.
Seriously though, when I was younger, I had this problem. Usually it was because I thought about it too much beforehand, and became emotionally invested before there was a reason to be. That adds pressure before you've developed a comfort zone with the person, which makes things awkward.
3 - cheat on your partner ?
Something else arrived on the scene, and I didn't do the right thing and end the previous relationship first. It was an issue of the previous relationship outliving itself, which is all too common... it should have been over six months earlier than it was, but we held on primarily out of habit. That made it much easier for something else to start growing. And once you've started keeping a relationship out of habit, it gets harder to get around to ending it.
5 - lack so much self respect ?
This one has never been my problem. I'm mostly leaving out the ones that don't apply to me, but this one merits a response. I have much more self respect than most people. I know what I can do, I know my limits, and I have my ethics, which I stand by regardless. There is nothing that I do that I will regret later. I never sell out my values or my beliefs. If anything, I'm too uncompromising on that, as I will sacrifice anything else in the maintenance of my personal honor.
9 - never truly see what you have until you've blown it ?
Oddly, this is an issue. Like most of us, I see what I want to see, and don't always let that be affected by reality. Looking back, much of what was good in my relationships was something I saw as bad at the time, and vice versa. Maybe it's just being contrary, maybe it's nostalgia, or maybe it's old fashioned relationship myopia.
12 - not talk about your needs openly ?
I'm a solver. If there's something I need, I deal with addressing that need, not getting someone else to address it for me. Even when they're the one that I need it from. Furthermore, the problem is, for me, part of the value. Once the problem is solved, it's gone, and I miss having that to work on.
15 - not feel satisfied ?
There's always room for improvement. Nothing is perfect, and I always want to improve towards perfection. And, while the journey there is rewarding in and of itself, there's no full feeling of satisfaction in progress when the goal is still somewhere out there.
Of course, my answers are going to be fairly atypical... I'm extremely happy with everything about me at this point in my life. I'm also very confident... I'd go so far as to say that I'm overconfident, but thus far my confidence has always been justified by the results.