OK people I have witnessed some interesting behaviour on both sides of the sexes and I've lived through some of these situations on one side or the other but ultimately it's just left me wondering how different people answer some of these questions.. some of them are way way more heavily usually repeated by women than men and vice versa but here goes... so if you can answer or you've lived through one of these experiences, can you please answer ? I'm curious to understand...

Why do you ;
1 - let your partner treat you like a doormat ?
2 - fear talking to a member of the opposite sex ?
3 - cheat on your partner ?
4 - put up with less than what you deserve so often ?
5 - lack so much self respect ?
6 - need a partner that makes you miserable ?
7 - always jump from one relationship to another with no time in between?
8 - fear commitment ?
9 - never truly see what you have until you've blown it ?
10 - have so much trouble just knowing yourself ?
11 - fear being single so much ?
12 - not talk about your needs openly ?
13 - misinterpret someone being kind as being weak then get a shock when they
Dump you ?
14 - you always play around with someone who's either married or in a relship ?
15 - not feel satisfied ?
16 - do you feel so bad if someone rejects you?

I think I could come up with more so if anyone does just maybe just quote this and add it into the list so far ?

This is a lot of questions

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Originally Posted by ceriphante

why do you ;
1 - let your partner treat you like a doormat ?

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I've been in this situation twice. The first time, I let her do it as a way of making up for something I'd done. I didn't do it to her, in fact it was before I even met her, but for some reason, I still felt that I owed her something for it. A delusion that she let me keep, really.

The second time, it was simply a matter of not being assertive in a relationship that we saw very differently. Rather than end it, I just kind of coasted on passively. It was just easier that way.

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2 - fear talking to a member of the opposite sex ?

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Sexual harassment complaints.

Seriously though, when I was younger, I had this problem. Usually it was because I thought about it too much beforehand, and became emotionally invested before there was a reason to be. That adds pressure before you've developed a comfort zone with the person, which makes things awkward.

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3 - cheat on your partner ?

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Something else arrived on the scene, and I didn't do the right thing and end the previous relationship first. It was an issue of the previous relationship outliving itself, which is all too common... it should have been over six months earlier than it was, but we held on primarily out of habit. That made it much easier for something else to start growing. And once you've started keeping a relationship out of habit, it gets harder to get around to ending it.

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5 - lack so much self respect ?

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This one has never been my problem. I'm mostly leaving out the ones that don't apply to me, but this one merits a response. I have much more self respect than most people. I know what I can do, I know my limits, and I have my ethics, which I stand by regardless. There is nothing that I do that I will regret later. I never sell out my values or my beliefs. If anything, I'm too uncompromising on that, as I will sacrifice anything else in the maintenance of my personal honor.

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9 - never truly see what you have until you've blown it ?

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Oddly, this is an issue. Like most of us, I see what I want to see, and don't always let that be affected by reality. Looking back, much of what was good in my relationships was something I saw as bad at the time, and vice versa. Maybe it's just being contrary, maybe it's nostalgia, or maybe it's old fashioned relationship myopia.

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12 - not talk about your needs openly ?

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I'm a solver. If there's something I need, I deal with addressing that need, not getting someone else to address it for me. Even when they're the one that I need it from. Furthermore, the problem is, for me, part of the value. Once the problem is solved, it's gone, and I miss having that to work on.

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15 - not feel satisfied ?

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There's always room for improvement. Nothing is perfect, and I always want to improve towards perfection. And, while the journey there is rewarding in and of itself, there's no full feeling of satisfaction in progress when the goal is still somewhere out there.



Of course, my answers are going to be fairly atypical... I'm extremely happy with everything about me at this point in my life. I'm also very confident... I'd go so far as to say that I'm overconfident, but thus far my confidence has always been justified by the results.

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Originally Posted by Nosnosna

Of course, my answers are gonna be fairly atypical... I'm extremely happy with everything about me at this point in my life. I'm also very confident... I'd go so far as to say that I'm overconfident, but thus far my confidence has always been justified by the results.

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Im jealous :)

Nice answers though, very informative

Why do you...

Q - Let your partner treat you like a doormat?

A - I don't think we do. I think it is quite simply a role some people fall into and don't know how to get out of.

Q - Fear talking to a member of the opposite sex?

A - Conditioning. It's all to do with conditioning. But the mould can be broken. If you have self-respect and integrity you can have both male and female friends. If your partner won't accept that then it is his/her problem to deal with not yours.

Q - Cheat on your partner?

A - Many, many reasons. Unhappy relationship, just fancy a bit on the side, just curious, discovered love at first site, the other person has something you need which your partner does not, and then there is falling in lust.

Q - Put up with less than what you deserve so often?

A - Oh, that ones easy. You deserve the best, we all do but we don't all believe it.

Q - Lack so much self respect?

A - Giving ourselves respect is something we can and should learn. Others are apt to treat us as we treat ourselves. Therefore, we must learn to respect ourselves and others will respect us.

Q - Need a partner that makes you miserable?

A - Because some people enjoy the drama. As well as the sympathy they get from others.

Q - Always jump from one relationship to another with no time in between?

A - Because we think the new relationship will fix everything and make us feel better - it never does. We need to reconnect with ourselves before getting involved in any new relationships.

Q - Fear commitment?

A - I believe the answer to that can be found in someone's past and in their childhood specifically. When we understand where someone is coming from, we can be less demanding and more understanding.

Q - Never truly see what you have until you've blown it?

A - More childhood stuff, and it can be overcome. We never want what we already have and we always want what we don't have. Understand that and you are on the path to a happy future.

Q - Have so much trouble just knowing yourself?

A - Because we don't spend enough time simply being with ourselves. Relaxation and meditation can help us connect more with ourselves.

Q - Fear being single so much?

A - Because we fail to realise that happiness comes from the inside. And we believe we can only be happy in a relationship.

Q - Not talk about your needs openly?

A - I think that is down to trust. There are few people in our lives whom we really trust and feel totally comfortable with. And these are the people who have been around a while and have proved their trust worthiness. There isn't must trust in new relationships, it takes time. And pushing someone to open up to you is that last thing you should do.

Q - Misinterpret someone being kind as being weak then get a shock when they dump you?

A - This is due to a lack of communication and trust. The couple need more time to get to know each other. It can also be due to something in their past, perhaps they were let down once too often.

Q - You always play around with someone whose either married or in a relationship?

A - This is down to immaturity and the belief that the other man's grass is always greener.

Q - Not feel satisfied?

A - Because we are searching for something and we don't know what it is never mind where to look for it.

Sorry I can't come up with any more. And I don't think you should either. It's all too negative. Think positive. Look on the bright side. Cultivate Love, Happiness and Trust within yourself.