[islandofdreams]

I will try to keep this short. I am a professional working mother, I am fortunate to work from home office 90% of the time. I had a great career prior to taking this post internally. My family lives in a small community somewhat set apart from the "normal" world and there are not a lot of similar types of women my age.

My issue is that we don't have many friends. I am relatively still new to our town (4 years) but I don't feel as though I have cultivated any friendships (I have three good female friends in our town). I have two children that I do a lot of activities with, playground, organized playgroups, dance class etc.. I go to as many events as I can to get to know the other mothers etc.. However, as I work my nanny takes them most of the time.

I always introduce myself to other mothers and people at parties (the very few we have attended) etc.. However, people do not seem to like me! My husband and I are never invited to parties or dinner etc.. We have reached out to other couples etc.. And gone to dinner but the invitation has never been reciprocated. My older daughter has only been invited to 2 birthday parties and we just feel like losers!

Due to our jobs and kids we don't have a great deal of free time and it is difficult to take up activities outside of the home other than going to the playground.

I am telling you, sometimes people look at me as though I have three heads. I am a nice person, don't talk behind people's backs etc.. We are fun, intelligent and love people. What is wrong with us/me?

Any advice out there?

[iscorpio]

I will try to keep this short. I am a professional working mother, I am fortunate to work from home office 90% of the time. I had a great career prior to taking this post internally. My family lives in a small community somewhat set apart from the "normal" world and there are not a lot of similar types of women my age.

My issue is that we don't have many friends. I am relatively still new to our town (4 years) but I don't feel as though I have cultivated any friendships (I have three good female friends in our town). I have two children that I do alot of activities with, playground, organized playgroups, dance class etc.. I go to as many events as I can to get to know the other mothers etc.. however, as I work my nanny takes them most of the time.

I always introduce myself to other mothers and people at parties (the very few we have attended) etc.. however, people do not seem to like me! My husband and I are never invited to parties or dinner etc.. We have reached out to other couples etc.. and gone to dinner but the invitation has never been reciprocated. My older daughter has only been invited to 2 birthday parties and we just feel like losers!

Due to our jobs and kids we don't have a great deal of free time and it is difficult to take up activities outside of the home other than going to the playground.

I am telling you, sometimes people look at me as though I have three heads. I am a nice person, don't talk behind people's backs etc.. We are fun, intelligent and love people. What is wrong with us/me?

Any advice out there?

Maybe organise a party of your own and invite people to your house like maybe the local priest, your next door neighbours, parents from the school, people from the local shops, just write on your invite that although you have been in the community for 4 yrs you feel that you have not introduced yourselves properly yet due to your working lifestyle, you would very much like to get to know people hence the party. (words to that effect anyway)
I hope this helps. Take care, love and peace anne x

[miamibound]

I think the problem maybe, that you and your husband are separated, so people are uncomfortable inviting you to parties or events. You posted that you are getting divorced, so friends maybe hesitant to reach out to you. I think inviting people from your church is a great way to reach out for new friendship. Hope this helps.

[SBowman]

There's always the internet.

[Kattalover]

Some communities are more difficult to get into as a newcomer than others, and some will always remain closed to you in one or more ways because of differences in political views or religious beliefs, or for other reasons.

I'd say stick with the three women you've made friends with. Maybe they have other friends they can introduce you to!

[nicespringgirl]

Smile. It's contagious!
Address the person you'd like to make friends with by his or her name. This shows that you are interested in getting to know them.
Be genuine. People are naturally attracted to someone who is sincere and genuinely interested in them.
Relax. Be yourself.
Ask questions that will help them start talking. Don't ask questions that are too personal in nature.
Be a good listener. Build on common ground, such as interests or hobbies.
Respect differences of opinion; that's what makes friendship exciting. Be objective and open-minded.
Give compliments when called for. People always appreciate positive feedback.
Keep in touch by inviting them to do something fun together.
Follow up with them after that.
Enjoy your friendship.
Good Luck :)

[Emland]

I understand where you are coming from. I have many friendly acquaintances, but not that many people I could really call friends. In my case I think some of it is because I have a disabled child, and even though people say differently, I can feel their discomfort about being around my son.

I have also sensed a barrier around stay-at-home parents that I run into at the dance studio and/or school. I think they 1) feel that I should be a homemaker or are 2)intimidated or resentful because I work. That could just be my imagination, but it is the vibe I have picked up.

I signed up for dance classes at the same school where my daughter attends and have cultivated friends that share a common interest. Maybe if you can find a hobby that won't cut into the time with your kids, you can make more friends.