[confusion28]

I need some help from you ladies and maybe even guys if you have an opinion. I'm 28, she's 26.
My ex-girlfriend and I have been broken up for about five months now, we've have talked about getting back together, or at least I have expressed this interest to her. She has replied with, " I just want to be single for a while and get my career going and finish school, after that we'll see what happens".She is very busy finishing school and works full time. To my knowledge she is not dating anyone else. I give her a ton of space and we only talk about twice a week and I let her initiate all contact. When we talk its because she calls me usually. Here is my question, whenever she calls, she'll talk a little bit then whenever I start to talk, she'll start talking to someone in the background or say hold on a minute and start talking to someone who is with her. She cuts me off all the time in the middle of me talking. She never used to do this when we were together! To make it worse, she'll cut me off in the middle of a story and say, Can I call you back later tonight"? Then she won't even call back for like 4 days. I just think its very rude to do that. I've told her that and she gets really pissed and defensive saying, "I get busy, we're not together anymore". To me it has nothing has to do with being together, it's common curtesy. When you say you'll call back later that same day, you don't call 4 days later. It's like just because we are broken up she no longer owes me common curtesy. This really pisses me off. My main question is why would she do this to me? Its so rude. I feel like she just calls me to screw with me and purposely piss me off. Why else would she call, tell me how she has been, and then when I start to talk basically just say, " I got to go, call you later," to which she doesn't. Oh, let me mention that I broke up with her so maybe this is revenge?? What do you guys think she is doing this dismisive behavior for?? Thank you for your help!

[iscorpio]

Is only my opinion but I think maybe she wants you just as a friend, she likes to know you are there should she need to call you but as to your welfare and what is occurring in your life she does not seem to be too concerned, you give her plenty of space so you have proved that you can live without her, you should try not being there when she calls and see what happens, maybe she will realize how she truly feels as will you, she is treating you with real disrespect and you deserve better, cool it with her concentrate on your true friends and don't worry about her because she clearly is not worried about you. Take care, love and peace anne x

[Peyton666]

Maybe she feels that if she gives you a chance to talk you will bring up the issue of you 2 getting back together. Which by the sounds of it you no not to, but that is what I used to do with my ex. We always used to fight about me not being able to see him so when I called him I tried to end it really qiuck because then it stopped us from having a fight. Then I used to wait ages to call him cause I would rather not call him than fight with him. Which I no is stupid because then we would just fight about me not talking to him. Maybe you could try and call her and then at least you would be talking first but make sure you just keep the conversation light, this may help her to relax and let you both have a normal conversation.. hope this has shed a little light

[kp2171]

Sounds like she wants you to be her girlfriend.

It pi$$es you off and rightly so. Call her on it or let her be. It's a shame she seems to either playing games or she's just rude.

Neither option is attractive. Either one will drive you mad.

Sorry. I think its better to let her be busy with her life. I hate people who act like that. If you stay, you know what you're getting and you can't whine about how you are treated unless you do something.

We get the respect we demand.

[Bluerose]

Sounds to me like she is using you as a sounding board. I think she may appreciate your opinion and simply be unloading on you.

Either that or she is trying to get you to finish with her, perhaps cause she hasn't got the courage to finish it with you.

Also sound as if she likes you but it is never going to be anything else. If you want to stick around in her life, I think you'll need to accept the fact that you are just friends.

Perhaps if you can reassure her that you would be fine with that then she would stop cutting you off mid-sentence for fear of what you are about to say.

[Secret_J]

This may be a time in her life that she does want to concentrate on herself right now. I'm guilty of doing the same thing to people in regards to not calling them back at the time I say I am going to. I KNOW it's rude but it's a habit of mine that I am slowly trying to get rid of, and there are times when I try to juggle a phone call while there is something going on at my house and as a result, I give the whole cutoff speech followed by a "Can I call you back?"

Would there be a reason for her to have a grudge towards you since you broke the relationship off? She might be holding that against you as well. If you brought up the subject of getting back together, and she told you she wasn't ready, then leave it at that. Although she is initiating ALL contact like you say, (though I doubt that you can't resist calling her either) just maybe leave her alone for awhile since this is a time in her life where she says she's busy and connect with her when she fully can give you the attention you want. You can always just ignore the phone call. She's not obligated to please you in any way, and she will do whatever she wants to do because you are just a friend to her right now.

[playful child]

Well what I think is she likes to get you mad and she just doesn't like you as a friend no more I guess this is her way of saying'' leave me alone or I don't have time to socialize with you no more
That's what I think bye lilly

[InTheArmsOfGod]

You need to focus on what you want and what makes you happy. If where you're looking doesn't supply you with that, then you need not to look there anymore.

From experience (I'm a guy btw), I did this same thing, but to a girl. We talked every now and then, and I spoke a lot and when she tried to say something, I would try my best to cut her off. I knew what she wanted to talk about, and that was about starting up the relationship thing again. Well, I wasn't interested in that anymore. I didn't want her like that and I was definitely looking for something else. I called her for many different reasons, partly cause I was bored and just wanted to talk to someone. I agree with what someone said before about her not being able to cut you off herself. Perhaps giving you clues that she is no longer interested. That's the same thing I was doing with this girl until by the grace of God some old friend of hers from back in the day came into the picture. They started talking again and went on a few dates and now I'm but a memory and not a thought.

[Stunning07]

Not only you but me and as well as others have gotten the same line... there's nothing you can do about it, nor should you even think about bugging her about how you feel, you should just be friend be there for her, and don't be clingy nor don't act like you like her, for a while..

[Becca1025]

Yeah it's pretty rude... I agree. Just flat out tell her. Tell her how it makes you angry that she does that. She may not even realize she's doing it. Sorry wish I could give better advice, but all I can tell you is to just tell her. Goodluck

[talaniman]

Accept that the relationship is over, and since you want more than she does, leave her alone and stop taking her calls. Better move on with your life, and leave her to do as she pleases. She disrespects you because you are there, and you let her, because you have false hopes of getting back together, and until you leave her alone, this treatment will not change.

[Beanstalk]

I think you should try a similar attitude to her while on the phone.
I know its not going to be easy if you don't want to cause offence, but maybe you could give her something to think about in relation to how she has treated you.
Maybe after a little while she will come round a bit and stop this but maybe she is trying to hurt you deliberately. I think you should ask her straight out next time this happens.