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mslady0254 · Apr 23, 2007, 07:59 AM

I filed divorce from my husband just last week. The judge gave us joint custody, but he did not issue visitation yet. I have moved on, and my husband has moved on. We have a 2 month old daughter together. I was wondering, my husband want to have my daughter around his new girlfriend, and I feel that she is too young to be around another female. My husband hasn't showed fit that he is comfortable with his daughter. He doesn't even know how to change her pamper. He feels he is going to hurt her. Am I wrong for not letting him see his daughter in the presence of this new girl? Should I just wait until the judge issue the visitation? What is the proper age you feel is reasonable to let child go with parent alone?

Rina _4 · Apr 24, 2007, 07:46 AM

A two months old baby is way too young to let her be with her father alone. Aren't you breast feeding her? If so then you need to be with her at all times and I am sure the judge would allow visitations depending how often. As far as the girlfriend I don't think it really matters unless you are not comfortable with it.

mslady0254 · Apr 24, 2007, 08:43 AM

Thank You. I am not breastfeeding, it's just that I believe my daughter is too young to be without me. I believe the judge will give visitation to her father, I just want it to be stress and drama free.

Rina _4 · Apr 24, 2007, 10:04 AM

If he is really nervous about holding the baby and doesn't know how to change her Pampers then she is still too young to be with him alone and yes she definitely needs your 24/7 care.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 24, 2007, 10:13 AM

Once the judge issues visitation, you can request he do a parenting class, or ask for it to be supervised for the first few visits.

But the court will force you to allow him to have visitation. And you will not be able to stop him from allowing his new girlfriend around the baby, any more than he can stop you from visiting or being around a new boyfriend.

I have a very close friend whose ex tried that over the last few months, basically the court ordered the exact days and hours that had to be allowed for visits and the mom will have to pay a pentalty to the court if she does not have the baby available.

So right now there is no court ordered visitation, but if you don't work this out, soon there will be.

So he needs to learn how to handle and talk care of the baby, so tell him what he needs to do before you let him have the child, but be sure the real reason is not the new girlfriend,