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alls 11 · Apr 13, 2007, 11:51 PM

My husband and I have been married for 5 years, have 2 awesome kids, and live a very stressed out life. I never want sex anymore, and my husband wants it all the time ( of course) We used to do it all the time, and he would even have to turn me down sometimes. Now I have to force myself to do it even if it is only once a month. I love my husband, and find him very attractive, but I just don't want sex. It is really affecting our marriage, I am starting to worry that if I don't fix this problem it will ruin our marriage. Any suggestions on how to get my sex drive back.

missk · Apr 14, 2007, 07:18 AM

Do you exercise?

alls 11 · Apr 14, 2007, 08:09 PM

Only a couple times a week, I don't have time for much more than that.
Why? Does that have an effect on it?:confused:

miss manners · Apr 14, 2007, 08:26 PM

Two children is enough to decrease any caregiver's sex drive. First thing, reign in your stressful lifestyle. I know that if I don't get some time alone from people demanding things of me, and have the option to engage in my own hobbies from time to time, sex becomes an obligation. Think about what you could cut back on to permit more quality time with your husband and children (you'd be amazed what we can omit by concentrating on what's truly important).

Secondly, make a bargain with your husband to take over the responsibilities for an evening, or an hour here & there, to fit in a certain amount of "me" time per week. Do this in exchange for dates with him (whether the dates are dinner + romance afterwards, or just romance). Convince him to set up the bedroom in whatever way turns you on--candles, a massage, even picture of Chippendales. Couples who don't have sex DO split up; imagine how much more hectic your life will be then.

missk · Apr 15, 2007, 08:28 AM

Yes... excercise absolutely has an affect on your sex drive. My baby is 18 months and I am 31 years old and after he was born I had noooo desire for sex. I got an eliptical and I get on it at least 20 min every day(it is really hard at first-started out at 5 min) but let me tell you I want sex now and I know it is from my excercising. I also have forced myself to drink nothing but water or plain tea with honey and cinnamon. This gives you energy and that very well may be your problem. Excercising gets your blood flowing down there. Try it!! :)

missk · Apr 15, 2007, 08:29 AM

Of course we all know it can be difficult when you have kids. How old are they?

missk · Apr 15, 2007, 08:31 AM

Sorry-more ideas. Do you wear lingere? I feel soooo sexy when I where lingere and my fiancé loves loves loves it too.

NowWhat · Apr 15, 2007, 10:18 AM

With 2 kids and a stressed life - romance seems to be the first thing put on the back burner. Try to have date nights twice a month. It will make a difference. And I know making time for something new in an already packed day is challenging, but you obviously want to make a change - so I think you can do it.
Good Luck

alls 11 · Apr 15, 2007, 12:50 PM

Thank you all so much! These are all great suggestions. I will try to work out at least for a few minutes every day I think that would be good for me anyway.
My kids are 3, and 9 months, so they take a lot of my time and attention. The date nights are a good idea too, just being away from the kids and being able to talk to each other with out inturuptions will be nice. I hope that I can take all of your suggestions and make them work for me.