[talaniman]

Visa

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa.

"Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those."

I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa.

When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"





Flies on a Log

Beth Vorhees of public TV fame said her daughter, Diana, a third-grader, was to give a demonstration speech at school. She planned to demonstrate how to make "Flies on a Log" which consists of peanut butter spread on a stalk of celery with raisins on it.

The morning of her speech, Diana took out everything she needed and put it on the kitchen counter, ready to take it to school. Unfortunately, when the girl and her mother left for school, they forgot to take the items.

Diana's mother dropped her off and went home to get the stuff.

The celery was gone. The raisins were gone. The peanut butter had been put away.

"Oh," said Diana's father. "I had that stuff for breakfast."

Diana's faithful mother rushed to gather up more ingredients and rush them to school with an apology to the teacher and an explanation of what happened.

"Gee," said Diana's teacher, "that's a first -- 'My dad ate my homework.'"





Commercial Reward

At breakfast one day, I eagerly waited for John to comment on my first attempt at homemade cinnamon rolls.

After several minutes with no reaction, I asked, "If I baked these commercially, how much do you think I could get for one of them?"

Without looking up from his newspaper John replied, "About 10 years."





For The Kids...

Why did the dirty chicken cross the road?
For some fowl purpose!

How do sheep keep warm in winter?
Central bleating!

How do chickens dance?
Chick to chick!

What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo-cluck!

[magprob]

Why did the dirty chicken cross the road?
For some fowl purpose!

Oh man, that kilt me! That dasterdly chicken! There was larceny in that chickens heart I tell you! Rogue chicken still on the loose. Boy! I say Boy! I isn't no chicken!
Fog Horn Leg Horn. The true Pimp Daddy Chicken. He walks like a pimp.