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New Member
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Oct 9, 2015, 12:10 PM
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Dreams of the love of my life...
So I have this uncanny ability to dream about people before I meet them and then I don't realize it's them until after I meet them. I will be hanging out with them and then all of a sudden I will have déjà vu and then remember this dream I had years ago about this faceless person, but after I have the déjà vu of the dream it's their face... I literally dream about people and places before I have even seen them in person. Currently I am in love with this man. We both fell for each other really fast and really hard, we talked every day for about four months over which I would have déjà vu about a dream I had about ten years ago and I was married to him and we had kids together. But then he randomly tells me that he's not ready for a relationship and stops talking to me altogether... I still have really vivid dreams about him but now they are always about him having feelings for me but trying not to get too close to me emotionally and I'm just always there in the dream trying to figure out what's going on... I constantly have déjà vu about him and it is triggered by me saying a certain word or a phrase or remembering a dream and his face appears on the faceless person. When I say it's constant I literally mean that it happens nearly all day long every day... it's a little scary, and I am trying to move on from him, but for some reason I get this feeling that I am meant to love him regardless of what he's ready for... Am I meant to be with this man? Please, I am trying everything I can think of to get past it, but once I feel like I start to move on I randomly have really strong déjà vu about him again...
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Adult Sexuality Expert
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Oct 9, 2015, 12:43 PM
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I have had this feeling on occasion, it is more situational then anything, but similar. The problem is that it is just a dream, or day dream. It seems real and relevant, but it really isn't. The mind is good at grabbing patterns in random occurrences when the similarity is VERY slight. It is how the brain works. So you are in a situation and that will trigger one of these associations, but the link is tenuous at best.
The problem is trying to make life choices based on these dreams. I guess it could be a source of information but it it would be like buying a house because your card reader told you it was a good idea. It isn't reliable, even if it makes you more confident about the situation. You've found this out with this fellow, and I think your bias is what is telling you that you're constantly getting this dejavu happening. You're trying to justify this relationship, even though it is over, and using anyting you can.
You do need to move on from this. I don't know what the best way to do that is in this case. I think rather them repressing all your thoughts you just need to experience them. Compound that with distracting yourself. That is about all I can offer.
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Expert
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Oct 10, 2015, 01:39 AM
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The real issue is that the "love of our life" or the "soul mate" is a great idea, and perhaps is true, but in everyday life, we may not treat each other correctly, or things do not work out.
So you need to move on. If these thoughts are affecting your life, you may need to get professional help
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Expert
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Oct 11, 2015, 06:23 AM
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Most of us balance our dreams and feeling, no matter how strong or intense, with the reality life throws at us. Enjoy your feelings, but never get so stuck on them you miss living your life.
Moving beyond those stubborn feelings/dreams is often difficult, but it helps to have other plans and activities and people that you enjoy for those moments when those feelings come upon you to keep you in the reality. I don't think you can suppress these dreams and feelings but you can start practicing distracting yourself with different thoughts and actions until you are more experienced with dealing with YOURSELF, and your gifts.
There is a lot more of reality to explore and experience, than JUST your dreams.
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