[bdg12948]

My daughter is 30 years old and has lived on her own for over 10 years. She has owned her own home for 10 years. She is getting married in June and she and her fiancé had their wedding arrangements and plans all made when they announced their engagement to the family. Her father and I have been divorced for over 10 years. Should I expect to have to pay for her wedding gown? Neither her father or I were asked if we would like to invite anyone to the wedding. We have been told that they are planning their own wedding and paying for it. I wanted to give my daughter a shower, however, she said she only wanted one big shower and she has told her bridesmaids what she wants and has given them the list of persons she wants invited.

[Clough]

I am assuming that you are on good relations with your daughter in terms of communication and friendship. I know how hard it is to let go of a child once they have been an adult for awhile and are carving out their own niche and life and being successful in doing so.

My daughter is 27, very successful in her career, self-sufficient and not married. If she were to tell me the things like your daughter has told you I would respect her intents and wishes.

However, neither your daughter nor mine know everything. It may not have occurred to her to ask your opinion on things since, as it appears, she is very much her own woman.

I wouldn't expect you to have to pay for her wedding gown. Unless, you present it to her as something you would like to give her as a gift.

I would ask her if she would be okay with you and/or your ex suggesting anyone to invite to their wedding.