[iceberg]

Every time my husband and I go out to eat,he always has to find out all about our waitress.Only the pretty ones of course, and he sometimes makes a fool of himself.This causes me to feel very left out and seems like I am eating alone.Some times the waitresses even sit down with us.He also came on pretty strong with my son's new girlfriend,[even my son noticed it.]I am thinking about not even going out with him any more.Do you think he is losing it?Can you be too friendly?He seems to want to make me jealous.

[Matt3046]

If you think so than yes he is. You are after all married, do quit going out with him that's passive aggression and is silly. Tell him how you feel, and that you would like him to show you more respect in the future.

[RubyPitbull]

Yes, in this context, a person can be too friendly. She is a waitress, not a family friend.

Have you spoken to him about his rudeness? You need to actively let him know how disturbing his behavior is to you. Are you sitting passively and keeping your mouth shut? Your non-reaction would be a tacit acceptance of this behavior. Maybe he is trying to see how far he can push you? Or, maybe he is just an unfeeling selfish arse? Only you would know the answer to that question.

Your son also should speak to your husband about his attentiveness to the girlfriend. The man needs to be called to the carpet for his inappropriate behavior. The more people that tell him this, the better chance the light bulb will go off in his head and he will find his good manners again.

Personally, I don't think it is as much a matter of making you jealous as it is having very little regard or respect for his wife and your marriage. Your husband is a big rude dolt and personally if I were in your shoes, I would verbally kick him in the rear. If my husband ever ignored me like that, invited a waitress to sit at our table, and pointedly left me out of the conversation, I would verbally "walk up and down him" in front of everyone. The guy would be diving under the table from embarrassment. All it would take is ONCE, for me to correct his rude arse.

If you have spoken to him about how this hurts and affects you, and he is ignoring you or belittling your feelings, I would suggest finding a marriage counselor. He needs someone else to point out that what he is doing is disrespectful to you and ultimately harmful to your marriage. He should not be putting ANYONE ahead of you. If he refuses to go to a counselor, then you should go alone. You would greatly benefit from this. A counselor will give you the tools necessary to deal with your husband's inappropriate behavior and correct it effectively. You should not have to be subjected to, or put up with, this kind of insulting behavior.

[RubyPitbull]

P.S. I didn't see Matt's response and your notation when I posted. DO NOT let him go out without you. That is not a solution to the problem. He needs to start accepting responsibility for his actions and adjusting his behavior. YOU are not wrong, he is. You are only wrong in allowing him to get away with this. If you allow him to go out on his own, he will view this as your acceptance for him to keep on flirting. God only knows what that may lead to.