[picgirl]

So my experience with relationships/dating (or lack thereof) is limited. I’m 30 years old and have never been in serious relationship. Ever since I can remember, from elementary school through college and post-college, most every guy I’ve had feelings for and let the guy know that (or he found out), had rejected me. I have some great guy friends who are like brothers to me – but no attraction with any of them physically. Strangely enough, I’ve remained friends with two guys (they started as friends) whom I had told I had was interested in them (this after I seriously thought were interested in me) with them saying the feeling wasn’t mutual.

I went overseas for a while, and for the first time, I got hit on regularly – that doesn’t happen to me in the states. Before I returned to the u.s. a guy (not American) who had been working alongside me and I consider a friend fell hard for me. I liked the guy, but initially his feelings for me were stronger than mine for him, and I wanted to hold back escalating those feelings because I had to return to the States soon because I had other obligations, and likewise for him. Needless to say, our parting was bittersweet.

As a person, I’ve become more self confident – and came to the realization while overseas that maybe I wasn’t as confident and didn’t realize it at the time – have always been a hard worker, focused, friendly, athletic, sincere, conscientious, personable, kind, I have a quiet diligence about me and am fiercely independent, etc… Work/projects - I like what I do - occupy much of my time. My friends are important to me, but dating hasn’t exactly a priority for me given my wonderful track record. However, being in a relationship is something I want to have at some point in time. I wonder if the guy who was interested in me was a fluke, or if I’ll ever have a guy in my life who cares about me as much as I do him. I also hesitate/fear telling a guy if I am interested in him given my past experiences with such things, and wonder if it’s wiser to be completely oblivious to it until love hits me in the face like it did overseas? Anyway, I’d be interested to get some feedback on all this. Thanks.

[Mae West]

Hey PicGirl, whats up? Well I have to tell you I think going overseas was the best thing you could do. Most american men have a stereotypical idea of what is beautiful.. basically Pam Anderson and Carmen Electra... lol.. they do not see women as the beautiful works of art that they are.. each with their own style and curves and unique features. I don't think that the guy that fell hard for you was a fluke. He saw you for yourself. He did not judge you for what other people might see as a flaw. It sounds to me that you have a bit of a self esteem problem. The thing you have to do is learn to love yourself for who you are. When you learn that, people can't help but love you too. I understand about you being guarded towards men now.. You have been hurt. But if you choose to let that keep you from opening yourself to anyone else you will miss the opportunity to meet the man of your dreams. Stay strong and keep your head up... Oh yea and call that guy from overseas.. Whats it gonna hurt?? Hope this helps!!

[Gem07]

If you're asking if love is going to happen for you, I don't know. I'm sure there are common traits that women have that find true love. I imagine that they're healthy, happy, busy, fulfilled, confident, polite, moral, etc. Their days and weeks are probably filled with a mixture of work, friends/family, hobbies, exercise, religion/meditation, volunteer work, etc. I imagine that they look their best, smile a lot, and feel blessed to be alive. I imagine that they like men and appreciate them as they are and are open to meeting men and going out with them.