[marikit123]

My boyfriend is 56 and I'm 52 we've been dating for a year now. We have great time together and we care each other very much.From the beginning, I told him what I'm looking for. I want a man who I can share my life with and who will accept me who I am and I will love him more. Meaning to say, I'm looking for companionship when I get older. He is very loving and affectionate man. Always excited to see me and take me somewhere and he hold my hands always and kiss me all the time and call me baby. He always stand by me. I told him I love him but instead he hugged me and said" oh baby' I asked him if He love me too but instead, he told me maybe and trying to avoid the topic.He said, "lets take our relationship day by day. I can feel he is afraid of commitment. By the way, he never been married at all. Do I have to leave him and move on myself?

[joypulv]

Goodness! You are willing to toss aside this WONDERFUL man just because he is afraid of those 3 little words? I know that women seem to be the ones who usually obsess over this (and I'm a woman), but think about it. There could be a million reasons why it's difficult for him to SPEAK of love, especially at his age. Who cares? I wouldn't. Too many people say they love you but don't show it. You have a national treasure. Every time you say you love him, just smile and say 'And if I can show you how much each day, the way you do with me, I'm happy.'

Yes, we humans thrive on words. But sometimes they aren't what's important.

BTW, commitment is somewhat meaningless in this day and age, unless you are young and wanting the legally binding contract of marriage to have some security for raising children. Words of commitment otherwise are basically useless, and people break promises in love all the time. Even with marriage, of course, but at least the law provides for support for children.

[catonsville]

Like Joy said, be thankful for what you have and be happy. He has never been married and with what goes on in the world today, do you think he would nilly willy jump into marriage?

[talaniman]

Its only been a year, and he has shown you he loves you, but maybe you aren't listening, or cannot understand his language. Like he said, one day at a time.

[Cat1864]

It sounds like you may want more than he can verbalize or give. If you are looking for 'forever' and all he can offer is 'today', then it doesn't matter if he says the words or not or if he shows how much he cares, you aren't wanting or expecting the same things from the relationship.

It has been a year. You should be able to sit down with him and discuss where each of you see the relationship in six months, a year...Do not assume he is afraid of commitment because he hasn't been married. Many people no longer feel the need for long term commitment or legal documents bonding them to another person. Day-to-day is enough for them. Some feel living together is enough. For others, long term commitment is very important. They have a need to know the other person is as invested in building a future together as they are.

I can't tell you what to think or do because I haven't interacted with him for the past year. I don't know if there have been other warning signs or red flags that might indicate things aren't as rosy and happy or he isn't as nice and caring as you have painted him to be. Have there been other minor issues wearing away at the happiness?

Bottom line is that you cannot change another person. You can only change yourself and your own needs. If he is not interested in long term plans or looking past today, you can once again explain what you are looking for in the relationship, see if there is a compromise and go from there.

If you are happy is what he offering enough? If it isn't, then you should let go and move on. Stiffing who you are (the person who needs commitment) to be who he wants you to be (a person who is okay with living for today) can turn the positive feelings into negative ones.

[Elle16]

Only you know if companionship is enough. You have been honest about your feelings, and he has been honest about his feelings. If you will be happy forever with the way things are, then stay. If you know you want more, then leave.