[robena]

I feel bad for doing this but I'm a little lost. I've been going with a man for almost 11months now and it's the most difficult and complicated relationship I've ever had. I met him on a dating site and it was very passionate and exciting for a few months, he said he loved me and wants me forever and wants to marry me. He's been divorced for 16yrs is 50 yrs old and had many, many relationships. I have been separated for 13yrs and had one brief relationship that turned into a friendship and live alone.The thing that bothers me about my guy is that all of his friends are women he once slept with but did not think them good enough to marry for one reason or the other. He still tells me he loves me wants to marry me and that this is the longest he's been with one woman, but now he curses me and call me names when he's angry, he often rejects me, he never calls me, does not kiss me unless we're making love which is seldom but tells me how many times he's masturbated. He now tells me that I don't love him that I love myself and that he loves me.I do lots for him yet he always compares what I do to a filipino woman he's had as a "friend" for 16yrs who refused his proposal yet does all his banking, writes cheques for him, monitors his account, invests his money and tells him how much to spend, He has to call and ask her to increase his limit if he wants to buy something over $60. He discusses everything with this "friend" she knows how much he earns, always giving him advice which he chooses above mine, he phones her everyday but insists that she is nothing more than a good friend. I spend a lot of time at his house and although he plans a lot of things for us to do together I feel uneasy. He is very proud and rather die than ask for anything from anyone, except the filipina. Says he is scared of his feelings for me and thinks I will leave him, so he would often distance himself because he does not want me to know how much he needs me for fear that I may use it as a weapon against him or to control him. He has a very disturbing way of interpreting things and is super sensitive. The funny thing is I love this man, I am crazy for him and he knows it but I don't understand him, he makes everything very difficult, its like he's constantly testing me. What's going on here?

[Wondergirl]

What's going on here?

I hope what's going on here very soon is you walking out the door and not looking back. This man is manipulative, cruel, and has no intention of marrying you except if he decides to add another notch to his rifle butt.

[talaniman]

Geez, your 50 and should know better than to think being in love with someone with all those red flags, and baggage will, will make for a happy life.

I don't care what he says, he doesn't know what he is talking about.

You do better going back on line. Sorry just ain't that much love in the world to overcome all the obstacles to happiness he represents.

Move in with the Filipino woman, would be a better option for you. At least she knows what she is doing. Managing his life like a wife, without the hassles. And she was smart enough not to marry him. Take a hint from her.

[Arezona]

You deserve a man who respects you

[positiveparent]

Agree with all others here, walk away from him I think he's more into the fillipino woman and the fact she won't marry him is what's keeping him interested in her.
Hes also or sounds like it then controlling, and abusive too, seems you're second in line or perhaps even lower. Hes probably going to disappear from your life the day he convinces the fillipino woman or when someone else comes along.