[Jdseufe]

Our relationship started on the wrong foot and we both kept secrets from each other. They came out and we decided to stay together.

I later found out more secrets and possible infidelities on her part which I snapped and went to end our relationship. We talked it out though and we continued.

When we started she was very affectionate, and we moved jn together and she has 2 kids. I help her with them and they don't have dads in their lives so I am a father to them as well. We just had a great Christmas but on the 1st she sprung on me she can't trust me and she expects that I'll cheat on her because our sex life has dwindled.

I tried everything to convince her but I admit I complained about our intimacy problems. She did much else like cook and clean and laundry and that was her way of showing her love. I always appreciated and never asked but she said I was ungrateful. I also said that to her. Our fights became more frequent and even in the good times she seemed to be straining.

My question is I know she's talking to other guys and I've always hated that, how much of her trust issues are going to be with any relationship and can I win her passion back simply by letting her walk away.

[joypulv]

You are asking us if you can win her back by letting her walk away - that in itself shows some real problems understanding relationships. First, you don't 'let' people do anything; they do it of their own free will. Anything else is trying to control. Second, no two people are alike, and there's no way to know what she will do if you give her the space she wants.

So you need to change your ways of thinking. After that, I'd suggest that you write her a letter (no phone, no email, no text) on paper, in an envelope, with a stamp, telling her that you love her and want to work on communication and feelings and wants and needs. It sounds like she needs a lot of help that you will have a tough time with (throwing you away if the passion of romance wanes in the normal way, and turns into something else), but it's your life, your choices.

[talaniman]

I would give her space just to stop the fighting and arguments and see what happens. I don't know if she will miss each other or nor, or be willing to try yet again, but there seems to be much conflict and maybe you both have issues that prevent you from finding healthy ways to resolve them. Maybe this is as far as it goes, I have no clue but a break/space/time out seems in order.

Beats arguing and fighting over feelings.