[person35]

My girlfriend of a little over year has been talking about having a break. Recently, she has finally said that she thinks it would be a good idea to take a break after our vacation plans for the holidays. She thinks it would be easier to ease into the break. She says that she loves me a lot and just needs to be independent so she doesn't have any regrets about me being the one she wants to settle down with. She wants to be on a beak but still be able to talk. I told her that I do not agree with the break at all, but its going to happen anyway because she wants it to happen. I want to tell her that I think we should break right now and not wait till after the holidays because what's the sense of me pretending we are still together when she is going to leave me after the holidays. She seems to be completely fine with waiting, but I know its because she wants it that way. I can't give her the control and the satisfaction she wants so she can feel better about the break so I am going to tell her that I am done now! I don't thin I am wrong to do this? She has hurt me really bad so I think what I need to do is give her the space she needs and let her know that we will not be contacting anymore. I have told her that if we do take a break we won't talk and she was devastated when I said it before. I know that she loves me a lot and she can see herself being with me forever. She just wants to be independent so she can be 100%. My plan is to tell her that I am going to give her the space she wants, but that I don't want to talk to her. If she wants a break then it is going to be a break. She can't say she is leaving me and still expect me to be around. I love her to death but I am not going to sit here and pretend to be something were not just because that is what she wants. She needs to feel as bad as I do now. She is obviously upset about doing this and constantly cries whenever we talk about it, but she says it needs to happen. My hope is that she will realize how much she does need and will come back to me. What should I do?

[flowerchildfala]

I agree with you in that in a "break" you two do not contact each other because otherwise what is the point? Also does she mean break, or break up? I think you two need to discuss it so it suits both of you and not just one person. It may be easier to do it after but from now till then, your relationship will suffer as you will know that a break is coming and it will affect the relationship, so you might as well start the break now and give her the space to figure out what she needs. Absence makes the heart grow fonder!!

[Devorameira]

You are right. Give her the "break" she wants, but effective immediately. If you did do it after the holidays you would not have a good time at all because you'd be worrying about what's to follow, so do it now and get it over with.

You're right to go no contact at all! Also - Don't wait on her forever to decide what's right either. If things aren't squared away after a month, I'd consider it to be a break up instead of a break and would move on.

[talaniman]

Disappear from her life, and move on. Break or break up, what's the difference? Who cares? Why torture yourself by prolonging the agony?

She may still want to talk but what's to talk about, that's why you disappear, and be unavailable.

Honestly, doesn't that sound crazy and, unreasonable and, selfish?