[Advicenowplease]

I have been with my girlfriend for a little over 2 years now and I have a few problems. She says that she loves me but I am the one that initiates everything, whether it's sex or just hugging or kissing etc. I am unsure if she enjoys sex too, she says that she does but she never seems eager to have it and I feel that when we do, she just has it with me as a favor for me. We are both students at university and live in a house with two other students. I can't move out or ask her to do so as we have already paid our rent in the contract. I love her so much, and I used to see a future with her, but not so much recently due to these problems. Do you think I am right to consider breaking up over this, and how would one do it in these circumstances?

[talaniman]

Maybe her nature is more reserved than you can handle. Or maybe its others being in the same house. Maybe the lust has faded and other thing are of greater concern. Maybe your sex drive is higher than hers. Maybe you have changed who knows.

If a couple can't solve their problems together, then they solve them apart. Talk first and see what happens.

[Fr_Chuck]

And how often are you trying to have sex ? What else do you do besides sex together ?

[Advicenowplease]

My sex drive is pretty high, I would be happy having sex every day. Her sex drive is much lower than mine, it seems that she would be happy not having sex at all and if I stopped initiating, it would stop altogether. We used to have it every day, or every other day, but it has steady declined and now I often get rejected. We probably have it once a week but I feel that is just to keep me happy. I have considered stopping initiating and going celibate for a time to see what happens and to decline (in a non offensive manner) any offers that I think are solely attempts at pleasing me. I would like to wait and see if she begins to want it after a set time. Maybe then I will know how often is good for her, if at all. We actually don't have the opportunity to do much at all, we live in a small university town during the semester and there's nothing there to do except walk in the countryside (which I enjoy more than my partner) or drink in a night out. We go out with a few friends every Thursday and very rarely, we take an hours drive to the next town to the cinema. We have a lot of assignments to do and we study most of the time. This gets her very stressed, and I know this could contribute to a lack of sex drive, but would it account for a lack of affection overall? I feel ignored and unwanted. But she says that she loves me and finds me attractive, and it is really confusing. Why do her actions not match what she says she feels?

'If a couple can't solve their problems together, then they solve them apart. Talk first and see what happens.' - I will try and talk to her about it when term starts after this Christmas break. I wouldn't want to bring it up over the phone