[amyjane89]

Me and my BF of 3 years have had a rough relationship, he really loves me I know he does he can be very kind but he keeps breaking up with me, must have been about 40 times now and we live together and he leaves me for a few days comes back, tells me what I have done wrong and I just accept it and go on until it happens again. He has had a lot of problems in the past, his cheating dad dies when he was 17, he got loads of money and blew it with drugs and spending, got engaged to someone he didn't really love and had a child, lost his house and a few other things.

I'm a very easy and positive person but I can never have routine or a happy home with him as he explodes over silly things and leaves me. At the start I would be crying begging for him to come back but now I'm numb to it, it's like a routine and I find it hard to express how I feel as it is never truly listened to. He broke left one Sunday to see his son till Tuesday, he came back on Tuesday and before I could talk to him his bags were packed. He left me at our house with no phone, internet, money or car in the middle of the country side. So I got on with it and really felt it was the end, I went out that Friday , drank loads and ended up in a house with guys and ended up sleeping with one of them, they took advantage a bit but I left it before he came as guilt kicked in. He found me at the house and brought me back home, where he left crying, the next day he called me late talking about how I would feel if he killed himself etc. he was drunk. I was concerned so I went to visit him on the Sunday he calmed down and actually wanted to be with me. I lied to him and said I couldn't remember what happened in the guy's house, a week went on and bit by bit I told him the truth with the verbal and emotional abuse I got from him.

Then last night I told him the full story he got drunk and locked me out, I eventually got in and he dragged me out of the house giving me bruises while I was screaming for him to stop. Every time he talks to me about it I'm snappy and disconnected. He focuses on the negative all the time and I'm trying to make a happy relationship. Every day he makes our home a place I don't want to be in. He says it's all my fault that I slept with someone but I think he pushed me to it and every day , every minute he tries to remind me of it. I can't deal with his constant negativity it's bringing me down. I know he loves me but he's very troubled, he won't let me love him. I have a constant head ache, what is wrong with him?

Does he ever want to be happy? He makes me want to be single meet others but I don't want to leave him as I love him so much! Help!?

[Vee689]

You need to leave, I know it won't be easy but that is not a healthy relationship at all. If he wanted to be with you he would but obviously he keeps breaking up with you for a reason. In addition if you love some one you wouldn't disrespect them the way you explained. He probably has insecurities & problems with his self you don't deserve that. Move on girl.

[WisperWill70]

This is a VERY unhealthy relationship. You need help (and maybe a professional to talk to) if you feel like you deserve or can't do better than this or feel like you can't get away from this relationship. He's an unhealthy person who needs a therapist to deal with everything that happened to him and his issues. He's got all the makings of a physical abuser too as well as mentally and emotionally abusive.

You have to realize that it's not his job to be happy. He doesn't need to be. It's your job to accept it if he DOESN'T want to be happy. You can't take responsibility for it or keep asking him to change when he clearly can't/doesn't want to.

It's time for you to live your own life and move on. If you want to be happy -- go for it, without him.
You deserve it!

[talaniman]

When you get tired of this dysfunctional unhappy life, you will run away and never look back.