[Caring Parent]

Our son is a little over 1year old. He still wakes at night crying for me and will only allow me to soothe him. His father wants him to sleep over but thinks that I am being selfish by not allowing our son to sleep over yet. He does not visit regularly nor comes to fetch our son for visits on a regular basis, thus making our son a bit hesitant to go to his dad and the other family members. He is now threatening to take me to court for not allowing him to sleep over as yet. His name is not on the birth certificate. We are not married. Whenever I decline his request for our son to sleep over he says mean things and it happens quite a lot. He does pay maintenance when he can. We live in South Africa. Can anyone please assist me with regards to his rights?

[stinawords]

Being that I am not in South Africa I am not sure on all the laws there. I can say that I would be surprised if a judge would order over night visits right off the bat. However, I could easily see it happening in the near future. What I have seen courts order where I am is visitation on a graduated schedule. This would start by having a few day time visits for a set amount of time then increasing to longer visits including over night. Why did you not put him on the birth certificate? Is the maintenance that he pays court ordered or just between the two of you? I would talk to a lawyer around you (you might be able to get an initial consultation for a small fee or sometimes free) and see what they say your options are.

[ScottGem]

I doubt if South Africa is any different from the US, so he has the same rights as any father. He just needs to go to court to enforce them. If you have never been to court, then the first step will be to establish his paternity by a DNA test. Unless he has legally acknowledged the child. The next step will be for the court to establish a visitation schedule. You can make the argument to the court, that the child is too young yet. But over 1 year, that may not fly. They may require that he spend more time establishing his relationship with his son first.

I would let this go to court. Let everything (including maintenance payments) be established by the court.

[ScottGem]

You don't need to file anything. It will be up to the father to go to court if he wants to set a visitation schedule. The court will take into account how much interaction he has currently.