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BeansMomma · Nov 20, 2013, 06:52 AM

I have an 11 yr old. Her father and I lived in TN when she was born and his name is on her birth cert. We moved to FL in 2006 and have lived here since. We were never married. We split in Feb 2009. Established separate residences. I moved to a different county in the state of FL and he remained. We came to a verbal child support agreement and it worked out perfectly for 8 months and then he just stopped sending money. I had to apply for govt assistance and they enforced a child support order. He paid it (wages were garnished) up until May 2013. He has been unemployed (or working under the table) since Dec 2012 and the amounts he mails in are not the ordered amounts and they (CSE) is looking for him since he has not provided a current address, etc. During the last 4 years, he has seen our daughter 3 times. Twice in 2010 and once in 2011 (Oct.). Last week I received a certified letter from him. In this letter he states that he will either sign over his paternal rights or take me to court for 50/50 custody of our daughter. I know how difficult it is to dissolve paternal rights so Im wondering what I need to do exactly. Besides the letter he sent me stating he wanted to sign them away, he also told my brother (who is willing to go to court with me) 3 months ago that he wanted nothing to do with our daughter. Any advice is appreciated as I can't afford legal counsel at this time and legal aid isn't much help...

Fr_Chuck · Nov 20, 2013, 07:05 AM

This is not enough, merely not seeing, or not visiting or not paying does not get rights taken away. He is not going to get to sign his righs away, to not pay child support. Keep the letter as proof of his attempts to not pay, it is doubtful he would get a change of custody at this point, and doubtful he will actually go to court.

He should ask for his payment to be reduced though court, since what he pays, is a percent of his income

BeansMomma · Nov 20, 2013, 07:22 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

This is not enough, merely not seeing, or not visiting or not paying does not get rights taken away. He is not going to get to sign his righs away, to not pay child support. Keep the letter as proof of his attempts to not pay, it is doubtful he would get a change of custody at this point, and doubtful he will actually go to court.

He should ask for his payment to be reduced though court, since what he pays, is a percent of his income

As I stated, I am aware that its difficult to have his rights dissolved. I am asking for advice on what to do... I don't want him coming in and out of her life every few years...

ScottGem · Nov 20, 2013, 07:49 AM

Originally Posted by BeansMomma

I don't want him coming in and out of her life every few years...

I'm afraid you have little choice in that. When you chose to have a child with this man, you bound your life with his and the child's life with his. He can choose to not be part of the child's life, but you cannot, legally, shut him out of the child's life, if he chooses to. Even if its every once in a while.

That being said, I would do nothing in response to that letter except to keep it in a safe place and make copies.

If he does take you to court for 50/50 custody. You produce that letter as proof that his intention in doing so is to intimidate you rather than a desire to be a part of his daughter's life.

If he shows up on your doorstep to see his child, tell him that since he has shown little desire to be a part of her life in the past, that he cannot just show up. That, if he wants to see her he needs to contact you, well in advance to make arrangements. Tell him that, if he doesn't like those rules to take you to court.

The only thing I would fear is him taking your daughter and not returning her. But at 11, she is old enough to go to some adult for protection if he tries.

You can petition a court for full legal and physical custody, but I think that would be a waste of time and money unless he goes to court first.

AK lawyer · Nov 20, 2013, 09:32 AM

As others have noted, your child's father is totally mistaken in his assumption that he can avoid child support by "signing away" his paternal rights. But if he is marginally employed so that he cannot pay the CS that is ordered, it's probable that he is bluffing when he says he will take you to court. Lawyers take money.