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Tommy-swagg · Nov 6, 2013, 06:52 PM

Okay,so this school year I'm in middle school and I'm not sure if my friend is gay or not. I myself am gay so I want to know if he is interested. We have two periods together and in one of them we don't even sit close to each other, he's my science fair partner and he's constantly insisting that I go to his house. I want to go but I almost never have time and he almost doesn't eather.
He has kind of given signs that he's gay but not really obvious. He kind of looks at me with interest and acts really perverted around me. He's almost always (when he's being perverted) talking about penises and butts like he's really comfortable saying the words. He rarely talks about girls.
Like he's my best friend you would think he'd tell me his crush, but he never mentions girls and how there really hot or any thing. So I'm kind of always looking at him like giving signals that I'm gay so he can open up a little more.

Oliver2011 · Nov 7, 2013, 06:42 AM

"I myself am gay so I want to know if he is interested." Interested in what? It shouldn't be interested in sex because you both are too young for that. So then why pressure the situation. If you back him into a corner and he is straight, you might be losing a good friend. If you back him into a corner and he's confused about his sexuality and not ready to deal with it, you might be losing a good friend. So again, why pressure the situation. Can't you just enjoy the friendship without a motive?

joypulv · Nov 7, 2013, 08:02 AM

I agree with Oliver2011.
I just want to add that I have a young friend who didn't have to hide that he was gay in school, and I think that might be because he was big and strong and no one would dare beat him up or even give him a tough time. Even more importantly, his mother knew and was OK with it, and his father who lived elsewhere was able to deal with it on visits (although he was strict about some things, like no nail polish).
This kid knew gay guys who did feel that they had to hide it - with genuine fear. If you are comfortable with being openly gay, I see no reason why you can't tell him at the right time. The right time might be during a discussion of parents, or any other time when the subject isn't about sex. It could be on the way out the door, so that he doesn't have to respond. But as long as you are in school and living with parents, keep in mind that this can be very difficult for others who are gay or who are not sure.