[Shaunmike]

Okay so like the title says my girlfriend wants a break but I do not. She works 40+ hrs a week goes to school full time, has a 500 dollar car payment AND has family issues between her mom and dad cheating etc. SO basically we were fine she had actually told me recently that she is so lucky to have someone like me in her life. We were doing just fine that whole day nothing out of the ordinary. Then as night time rolls around she starts crying saying that she's not happy.

So basically we talk and she says its not me at all and I make her happy and smile and its nothing I've done. She basically said she's not happy with herself she treats everyone in her life like crap basically her mom sisters dad grandma she always seems like she's on a short fuse which I figured is from school work home life and financials.

So we're on a break but its not even really a break she texts me and I text her its not how we usually text its been short lately. But with a break I know you're not supposed to talk but I feel like not talking to her would make her more sad I don't know. So I mean I text her never anything negative always asking how her day is and such. I left her flowers and that's about it.

She's stopped by to see me and its only been like 3 days. She also wants to go to the gym together again. But I'm so confused because we still talk she wants to go to the gym and all that. And me and her family are really really really close. And I tell her that I love her and I want to be with her and she says she knows how I feel and she said she loves me as well. She just needs to make herself happy.

She also said she's not breaking up with me because none of it is my fault and she just needs to figure out her life. So I'm basically lost. I don't know why we have to be separated and such but yea.

Please opinions, stories anything would help thank you!

[Cat1864]

It sounds like she doesn't want a 'break' as much as she needs some 'space'. In a way it is playing with words. 'Break' seems to be an over-used word which generally leads to 'break-up'. In her case, it sounds like she has enough stress in her life that she needs something to give before she explodes. You and the relationship seem to be the only things that have some give in them that she can have some control in making decisions and can get some breathing room.

Give her some space and relax any expectations you have for the relationship. Encourage her to find better coping skills than striking out at other people. Encourage her to go with her friends or try new hobbies. Try to be more casual than intense when you are together or talking. Try to keep from adding more pressure and stress. Have fun with your friends and hobbies.

You might talk to her about the difference between a 'break' and 'space' and see how she reacts. Listen to what she says.

One other thing to keep in mind, if the knowledge of the infidelity is a recent development, she may be scared of feelings and commitment due to her parents' issues. If she thought things were fine between them and then found out they aren't, her world and perception of relationships was shaken up. This is something she will need to work through and all you can do is give her support and let her know you are there.

Good luck.

[talaniman]

In a case like this, when the couple commitment has been broken, its best to walk away and give them what they ask for. She has a lot on her mind, but she still needs you as an emotional tampon to distract her from her misery. I would be busy and unavailable because to be honest, its unfair for you to hang around having hope she gets her head together.

You need to protect yourself from her confusion by being honest and simply inform her that YOU need time to get over this disappointment and she needs time to unconfused herself. Not fair she still wants you in her life, and you at least want a commitment, not a break.

You are no longer a couple so stop acting like one when she wants to be a hang out buddy. She can't have it both ways, why would you let her? She isn't as confused as you think, nor is as confused as you are. She wants friendship, NOT love. Let her find happiness without you. She willmiss you,or she won't.

Disappear! Sorry I know it sucks but you better look out for you, because she ain't. She can't.

[mmresd]

Give her a full and completely break, remember that if you don't you will probably be here posting as to how she broke up with you. Give her what she is needing, and if she wants to continue it she will contact you to try to continue where y'all left off, be prepared for that day to never come though.