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friends 13 · Sep 13, 2013, 01:43 AM

My boyfriend said I was a disappointment cause he saw me eating fries a week later that I started my diet. May I add I just hadour baby. N its tuff to diet. I'm trying my hardest n he says that :(

Homegirl 50 · Sep 13, 2013, 05:50 AM

What's your question? How long ago did you have the baby? Does he think your pounds will melt away and has he always been this insensitive?
You posted another question saying he won't let you go to the gym. Has he always controlled where you go? You're a mom now, you better stand up for yourself and your little one. He can only make you feel bad and be controlled if you let him. Exercise at home. Take the baby in the stroller and walk. Tell him to get off your back and walk with you. I get the feeling he was probably this way before the baby.

friends 13 · Sep 13, 2013, 07:52 AM

My question is what should I do? Doors this mean he not happy with me n how I look? I had our baby in may I had preclampcia so I had a C section. N of course I couldn't exercise right away. That was in May. N now I decided to diet n no he has never been like that to say things so mean. N also I can't take my baby out cause she a preemie n doctor says she will get sick so to keep get in doors. I have been exercising at home I'm going my pace you know. What should I do should I forgive him? I already let go of other stuff he put me through this year n a half we been together. I just feel like I can't do it anymore being hurt n crying. I want to let go buy don't know how. Any advice what to do.

J_9 · Sep 13, 2013, 08:00 AM

Please type in complete words and sentences as the site requires.

Remember that it took you about 7-9 months to put this weight on and it's harder to lose weight than to gain it.

Tell him to stop being an insensitive boob and to get over himself. He didn't carry the child and he didn't birth the child via major abdominal surgery. He isn't, or hasn't been, in your shoes. It's going to take up to a year to lose the baby weight, particularly if you aren't breastfeeding.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 13, 2013, 08:07 AM

Should you forgive him? Did he apologize for being so nasty? If you have put up with other stuff he has done to you, you have in essence told him this behavior is OK.
Why are you still there putting up with it? Sounds like you have put up with stuff the whole relationship. Why?

friends 13 · Sep 13, 2013, 08:09 AM

Sorry. And since he told me that does it mean he doesn't love me anymore? Also does it mean he's not happy with my body? Cause that's the feeling I'm getting from him. When I confronted him about what he told me he got mad and said I've said worse things n walked away we haven't talked since then.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 13, 2013, 08:12 AM

I don't know what he means, only he does. Has he always been this mean to you? Maybe he is stressed about taking care of you and the baby. Do you live with him?
It's hard to know what going on if he does not talk. Do you two say mean things to each other?

friends 13 · Sep 13, 2013, 08:14 AM

No he didn't apologize for it. I took it upon myself to bring it up n consider forgiving him but I'm always the one to try and work things out he can go for hours not speaking to me. I have put up with everything cause I really love him and I am very understanding. So I let things go cause I just want to be happy.

J_9 · Sep 13, 2013, 08:15 AM

How long have the two of you been together?

friends 13 · Sep 13, 2013, 08:18 AM

Yes I am living with him. Not to mention he has a other kid with someone else who he's paying child support for. I have tried n threaten to leave him but he crys and stops me and said he doesn't want to lose me and our baby. So I always stay.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 13, 2013, 08:18 AM

Originally Posted by friends 13

No he didn't apologize for it. I took it upon myself to bring it up n consider forgiving him but I'm always the one to try and work things out he can go for hours not speaking to me. I have put up with everything cause I really love him and I am very understanding. So I let things go cause I just want to be happy.

But you are not happy, so just putting up with things doesn't work.
How long were you with him before you got pregnant?

friends 13 · Sep 13, 2013, 08:21 AM

We have dated before for only 3 months broke up. As he went to retry his relationship with his ex girlfriend supposedly because he missed his son. And she cheated on him so we got back together 6 months later and been together for a year and a half

Homegirl 50 · Sep 13, 2013, 08:22 AM

Originally Posted by friends 13

Yes I am living with him. Not to mention he has a other kid with someone else who he's paying child support for. I have tried n threaten to leave him but he crys and stops me and said he doesn't want to lose me and our baby. So I always stay.

Well if you are going to stay and put up with his crap it's on you. You tell him he either treats you decent or you're leaving and mean it. If he doesn't, you leave. Loving someone is not enough to put up with being disrespected.
How old is this other child of his?

friends 13 · Sep 13, 2013, 08:23 AM

We were together 5 months before I got pregnant

friends 13 · Sep 13, 2013, 08:25 AM

I will tell him that. And his other child is 3 years old.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 13, 2013, 08:26 AM

Do you work? Was this pregnancy planned? That's a lot going on in a year and a half relationship

friends 13 · Sep 13, 2013, 08:29 AM

No I don't work anymore. I used to but when I got pregnant I lost my job. And yes this pregnancy was planned. He said he wanted to have a family with me and marry me.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 13, 2013, 08:29 AM

Originally Posted by friends 13

I will tell him that. And his other child is 3 years old.

You tell him that but you don't leave. So what is the point? Why would he stop.
You either care enough about yourself and leave or you put up with it and stay. Is your baby a boy or girl? This baby is being taught how to treat you by him whether he realizes it or not. This is on you. Soemtimes love is not enough

Homegirl 50 · Sep 13, 2013, 08:31 AM

Originally Posted by friends 13

No I don't work anymore. I used to but when I got pregnant I lost my job. And yes this pregnancy was planned. He said he wanted to have a family with me and marry me.

Well he didn't marry you did he? And now he talks to you mean. How old are you? How long are you willing to put up with this?

J_9 · Sep 13, 2013, 08:32 AM

You were together for 5 months and planned this pregnancy when you knew he had a 3 year old?

Why? Did you think this baby would tie him to you? I mean it didn't tie him to his other baby's mother so why should he think he should be loyal to you? You had only been together officially for 5 months. That's WAY too soon to be considering having a child.