[link3684]

I live in Utah, and I dated a girl, broke up, and she called a couple months later to tell me that sbe was pregnant. I told her I would be there and do what I could, and I never heard from her again until now. She wants to slam me with child support after being gone for about 3 yrs with me having absolutley no knowledge of the child, where they've been, what the dob of the child is, health, etc. I don't know how many men have been in this child's life, and have no idea if there is one in particular that the child is calling "dad" but I'm not one to confuse a child by just walking into the picture. Is there anything that either of us can do? And what would the best route to take be? Please help!

Thank you,
Jeremy.

[AK lawyer]

She can sue you for child support. If she does that, Demand that a paternity test be done. That way you find out if you are the biological father.

Absent her doing that, you could sue her for a paternity test and, if it proves you are the father, visitation. You would, in that case, also be required to pay child support.

[smoothy]

Before you admit to ANYTHING... wait for the DNA tests to prove it.(Many men have been wrongly accused)

If the DNA test proves its yours, then do the right thing.

[ScottGem]

So, someone tells you, you may have fathered a child and you do nothing to find out where that child is?

Then you think you are being "slammed" for support? And "im not one to confuse a child by just walking into the picture". You really believe that will confuse a 3 yr old? You really think there is no way to introduce yourself into the child's life without confusing the child?

As noted, if she does file in court for child support, then you demand a paternity test. But, if you are the father, then you pay. And if you are the father, then you try to maske up for the lost years to be a father to the child. Regardless of who else has been a father to the child.

[N0help4u]

If the child is confused by many dads its already something that is done. You (if DNA proves you are the father) should jump at the chance to step up and BE THE father. Unconfuse the child the best you can by being the biological father no matter how many guys she decides to bring into his life.

[dontknownuthin]

Get an attorney and have the attorney respond to her petitition with a request for paternity testing. If it's positive take a breath and ask yourself what kind of father you want to be. It's not about whether the girl dates or marries someone else. I am a divorced mom and my son is adopted... he had a birth mom, foster mom and step mom. He is not confused... he knows I'm his mom because I've been the constant in his life. You can become the constant in your child's life. And the child is young enough not to remember later that you weren't always there.

It sounds like you feel victimized which is ridiculous. Step up to the plate. Start figuring out the practical ramifications. If you are the child's father, start learning about parenting. Don't make it a pissing contest with the mother.

[Fr_Chuck]

If the child is confused it is because you did not do anything, you did not follow up with women but was happy to forget about it.

She can be living with a man, that man can be raising the child, but you still owe the child support.

She is not 'slamming" you, she is merely asking for what she is legally entitled and what you promised. Do do what you could. Child support is what you are "to do"

As for a paternity test to prove it is your child, file for visitation but if this is your child, you will pay child support. That is the law.