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wannabhappy · Sep 3, 2013, 09:40 PM

It was just no strings attached with this crush from elementary. He introduced me to his play brother and his whole family befriended me. Wanting me around all the time. Me and the jr high guy break up our little fling but the family of the best friend was still calling. Me an the best friend became close then I just cut ties with the family, my fling was no longer around but the friend would still call and want to hangout all the time then one day I realized he likes me.

He had a out of town girlfriend I never seen in the 6 months I knew him. We hooked up one day. It felt strange because of my ties to the friend. Then he told me he loved me in a argument. He needed a ride a week later something his family always wanted me to do I was getting paid for it. But he brings his girlfriend. I was mad. I told him and avoided him for months, then his mom calls randomly. When I come its him coming with me only. Now I'm wondering what is going on. Is he trying to hold on? Does he really love me but now can't get rid of the girl or what? He uses his family to keep me around and they have no idea what happened.

I love him and he always wants to make me happy but he has the now live in girl. I am around her and feel uncomfortable because it's a secret what should I do?

N0help4u · Sep 4, 2013, 12:15 AM

As long as he has the other girl you are going to always be the OTHER girl.
Drop him like a bad habit cause he is just using you. He can believe he loves you all he wants but he is lying to himself and you. Keep letting him use you and you are hurting yourself in the long run.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 4, 2013, 01:21 AM

He had a girl friend, you knew he had a girl friend, you were a booty call, nice sex when girlfriend is not around. Why NOW are you surprised, this was all it ever was.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 4, 2013, 06:22 AM

You should get out of this triangle. You have always been the piece in the side. You still are.

N0help4u · Sep 4, 2013, 06:36 AM

When guys in a relationship hit on me I flat out tell them ''I ain't yo' sloppy seconds! Loose girls are a dime a dozen down the street.''

wannabhappy · Sep 4, 2013, 05:45 PM

Well In response I don't feel used because I was the one who initiated the sex not knowing in the 2 months that went by his long distance girl had come to move in.. After sex a week later his mom needed a ride and he called an she just popped up.. I was being paid every time by the family they all say they love me. I stopped because I told him I don't feel right being around his girl. He recently had his mom and aunt call me back over to let me knowhe had his son.we ended up on another store run without His girlfriend where he kept saying things about us... I gave no response.. It has been 2 months since the sex which was only one time and now he is using them needing a ride as a way to see me.. I left him alone but he popped back up.I wonder should I say I want to be with him an she has to go or don't call.. I don't know I never said I wanted to be with him I'm wondering should I.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 4, 2013, 05:52 PM

If he wanted you he would have left her and told you he wanted you. He wants you to be his side piece. I would not tell him you want to be with him. I would just leave him alone. Let him make the move which is leaving his girl friend.

N0help4u · Sep 4, 2013, 06:33 PM

You may not FEEL used But you are
Because...

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

If he wanted you he would have left her and told you he wanted you. He wants you to be his side piece.

Cat1864 · Sep 4, 2013, 07:15 PM

Originally Posted by wannabhappy

Well In response I don't feel used because I was the one who initiated the sex not knowing in the 2 months that went by his long distance girl had come to move in...

I think you need to re-examine your moral beliefs. I think in doing so you will understand why you need to walk away from him and his family. It doesn't matter if they love you or are willing to pay you to do errands for them. By staying in contact with them you are hurting yourself. It needs to stop.

I want you to think about your behavior and what you consider good behavior. You knew that he had a girlfriend even if she lived in another place. Knowing about her and their relationship you still had sex with him. It only became a problem for you when she showed up and moved in. The way you talk you would still be having sex with him if she was still living in a different place and giving no thought to him being a liar and a cheater. If it is against your moral code to be a party to cheating and lying, you need to move on and leave them all behind.

Someday, when you have fully healed and found a partner who is as committed to you as you are to them and all of this is a faded memory, maybe then you can be friends with his family if you consider them friends. However, for now, you need to walk away and stay away from them.

talaniman · Sep 4, 2013, 07:18 PM

You should get him and his family out of your life because they all have used you for their own purpose. And you let them. You may not feel used, but you definitely have been and will continue to be.

Disappear. Man are you easy if you fall for his blather, because he could have told you he had a girl already.

wannabhappy · Sep 5, 2013, 07:41 AM

I do have morals.. I felt bad about the situation because I was with his friend to begin with.I felt bad for falling for him.. the family has no clue about the sex or secrets.. it is between me and him.. they have another choice to do errands for them but they prefer me because they trust me. Now the girlfriend is who I feel bad for.. I was not aware of the extent of their relationship because like I said she was never around and I heard of hear a couple times.. I did distance myself from him after I realized that it wasn't worth it. He called I declined to come.. I think he has his mom aunt and cousin call because for him I won't.. I guess I should just forget about him until he leaves her or maybe just period.. I was just holding this secret and feel uncomfortable with knowing he makes advances while we are alone.. but it is wrong I know but I kind of liked spending time with him... its just not the same after sex.. she would flip if she knew.. I feel horrible that I did that

talaniman · Sep 5, 2013, 07:50 AM

Sex may have been a secret but him having a girlfriend was not, and a fact he nor his family shared with you. That's straight up deceit. I don't question your morals but theirs, but I will question your being a willing secret lover between one of two friends.

Chances are you don't know the whole truth with them either.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 5, 2013, 07:55 AM

He knew he had a girl friend, he also knows how you feel about his family and uses that. He does not sounds like a very nice person. Leave him alone.

wannabhappy · Sep 5, 2013, 06:26 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

He knew he had a girl friend, he also knows how you feel about his family and uses that. He does not sounds like a very nice person. Leave him alone.

Thanks for your opinions... it helps to have others views