[Velasco8218]

I think that sometime I love my boyfriend more than what he say. Sometime I feel like if I'm forcing him to love me. What can I do to stop loving my boyfriend? I admit that he is a sweet wonderful guy but only when he is not angry. I made a mistake when we broke up for the first time, but he continually tells me that it's not a mistake. He hurts me with words that really cut deep through my heart. He tells me that I'm not worthy of him and that I'm one of the worst women in the world. I do everything for him. I treat him really really good. Some people tell me I treat him too good. I do it because I love him.

I don't cheat on him because I think that cheating is wrong, What can I do for him to stop remembering past things? I treat him like a king and he treats me like crap. There are times that I get so desperate that I feel like taking my own life. I wish he would change but if he doesn't I wish I could stop loving him, but I don't know how. It's just that when he's angry at me and then cools off he is so sweet. I really don't know what to do.

He basically controls my life, He has even told me that my tears mean nothing to him and that he gives a f*** about my feelings, also call the police on me to leave his house but then he sweets me up by telling me that he didn't mean any of it and that he said it because he was angry. He also says that he loves me and I believe him every time. PLEASE I NEED SOME HELP!

[smoothy]

This is an obsession... because unless you are a glutton for punishment and abuse... it can't be love.

He certainly doesn't love you if he treats you like that.

[joypulv]

Love is boundless. It has very little to do with words. It is respect, admiration, sharing, compromise, and understanding. It requires time. It requires work. Force is not part of it. Asking is.

Women tend to want too many words. Men tend to speak too few words.
That's where all the above come in.
Talk to him. Tell him what you are missing, and ask him what he is missing, and work on it.
Did I mention the work requirement?

[talaniman]

This is not love but a very sick, unhealthy, obsession and you need to stop it, and get away from him, because it hurts now, and will get much worse. Much, much, worse.

[N0help4u]

Controls my life, He has even told me that my tears mean nothing to him and that he gives a f*** about my feelings, also call the police on me to leave his house
This ALONE is enough that should make you RUN NO forwarding address!!
He KNOWS you are weak. DO NOT fall for sweet talk that is your major down fall.
GET strong and SEE the red flags and RUN!

[Jake2008]

Love is a two-way street. Putting the needs of one, before yourself. It is respect and honesty, and trust.

Love is NOT what you describe.

You may think that you love this man, but really, you only love the part that isn't destroying you- and that would be when he is not angry. So you do everything in your power not to make him angry, and do 90% or more of the giving and doing, because of two things.

One reason you keep up all the work it takes to make him happy, is that you fear the consequences.

The second reason you keep up this work, is because you think he can change into a more reasonable person. Why? Because you realize that he needs to change so you don't live your life this way. Do you think he'll change for you? No. Because he has you, and the relationship, exactly as he wants it.

This is not love.

Anger increases, not decreases because needs and wants of one overpowers the needs and wants of the subservient one. That would be you.

That you can recognize how destructive he is, and how toxic this relationship is, doesn't mean you try harder to understand him and do better. What that recognition means is, you get out. Regardless of how you have become to be so dependent upon a man who treats you with less respect than anyone else in the world, your version of love, will destroy you.

You can Google until your heart's content about abusive relationships, and you will see both you, and him, in the descriptions. You are not alone thinking that more love will help in any way to change this man. You can sacrifice all you want of yourself, and end up in exactly the same place. He controls you.

Visit any women's help organization for referral to a counselor who can assist you in talking through what you need to do to get yourself out of this situation, and learn who you are again.

For your own safety, I don't see getting help is optional.

He is not going to change.