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ifrahch · Jul 16, 2013, 05:24 AM

I have been dating this guy for five years. We talk about marriage all the time we we're planning on when to get married and everything. We've been having problems lately, he went to the navy in Connecticut and I just wanted to go to PA school so I asked him if we can wait on the marriage thing until I got into a PA school somewhere around. I've been working hard for it for years. He said he wanted to start his life and get married already so he wasn't too happy that I wanted to wait. I supported him of leaving to the navy for years I wish I got the support back on my dreams.

I just found out last night he's been talking to his ex. Not only have they been talking but he's asked her to be in a relationship with her and he told her he didn't want to marry me. Not only that, he even bought a plane ticket for her to go see him. He had a hotel ready and everything but she cancelled the last minute. So obviously they were going to have sex if she went and I'm the dumb one waiting here for him twiddling my ing fingers. After I found out they had been talking I aggravated her and showed her all the nasty texts he's been saying about her and that's when she told me everything. My NOW EX did not deny it and simply replied, I was going to break up with you after you took your MCATS anyway now leave me alone.

So now I changed my number, blocked him off everything. I need advice on how to cope with this. I feel the worst and I think I fell into depression over it. I won't eat, sleep and its signs of acute depression. I need to do good on this MCAT like I might want to do med school I just worked so hard and I just can't concentrate. Please help. I did the right thing leaving him I just need advice.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 16, 2013, 06:03 AM

So you changed the plans on marriage and moving to be with him, he felt like you were basically breaking up with him, and he went to plan 2. or found first women he thought would have sex.

Many men have sex with their ex's at times ( not right but happens) there is an entire culture about the "babies daddy"

So go on with your life, go to your school and go on with life.

It appears you were both leaving each other and this were just something to happen

N0help4u · Jul 16, 2013, 06:13 AM

You need to be strong and stick with your career plans. Be thankful you found out when you did. It sounds to me like he justified in his mind that he wasn't cheating because he was breaking up with you anyway, just hadn't informeds you. Don't let getting back together be his plan 3.

Oliver2011 · Jul 16, 2013, 07:51 AM

"So now I changed my number, blocked him off of everything. I need advice on how to cope with this."

Are you kidding me? You made the best changed of your life - CELEBRATE. Toooooooo many people get stuck in a loveless cheat-filled marriage. You didn't. You didn't because you were smart and made the right decision. You should really feel great about your future. More people on this site should be like you.

Yeah break ups suck. We have all been through it and we have all survived. You need to fill up your time with activities to keep your mind active. Go out with girlfriends, see a movie, exercise, take a cooking class, etc.

But most of all be proud of yourself for doing what you did.

ifrahch · Jul 16, 2013, 08:21 AM

Thanks for all the help everybody!

ifrahch · Jul 16, 2013, 08:28 AM

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

"So now I changed my number, blocked him off of everything. I need advice on how to cope with this."

Are you kidding me? You made the best changed of your life - CELEBRATE. Toooooooo many people get stuck in a loveless cheat-filled marriage. You didn't. You didn't because you were smart and made the right decision. You should really feel great about your future. More people on this site should be like you.

Yeah break ups suck. We have all been through it and we have all survived. You need to fill up your time with activities to keep your mind active. Go out with girlfriends, see a movie, exercise, take a cooking class, etc.

But most of all be proud of yourself for doing what you did.

Thanks for the kind words. You're right it's just good to see an outside opinion on the situation I really appreciate the kind words.

Yeah I'm in a different state right now getting work done like I need to focus you're right when I get back home I'll definitely go out with my girl friend :D they will keep me busy!

ifrahch · Jul 16, 2013, 08:30 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

So you changed the plans on marriage and moving to be with him, he felt like you were basicly breaking up with him, and he went to plan 2. or found first women he thought would have sex.

Many men have sex with their ex's at times ( not right but happens) there is an entire culture about the "babies daddy"

So go on with your life, go to your school and go on with life.

it appears you were both leaving each other and this were just something to happen

You're kidding me. I've been doing a long distance for ALMOST a year because HE decided to go to the navy and HE expected me to wait for him. I asked him to wait a few months until I get accepted into a PA school NEAR him and then we can get married.. I didn't break up with him I was like who else is going to pay the 30000 dollars I am in debt right now from school I was trying to make a secure future for the both of us. I'm not going to get married, move to him, and struggle. I just needed a few months to have a permanent career. He should be happy that I'm ambitious he didn't even go to college and he messed up that's why he's in the navy. His ex works for pole dancing classes and all she does is dresses inappropriately, she's tatted up and goes out.

They both can suck it sorry its unbelievable and I feel played. He would talk about marriage to me but then sneak behind my back with this girl how sick is that. Even I don't feel like I deserved that much I've been supporting him for way too long. His ex said she doesn't want anything to do with him either so now he'll just rot in the navy with no one.

And he's going to be in a submarine MONTHS at a time I mind as well have a job meanwhile he's gone! Like he expected me to just wait for him and sit on my and do nothing with my life

I just said just give it a few months my parents business are in bankruptcy and all they want from me is to be successful that's the only thing they want from me they invested SO MUCH in me my whole life I need to take advantage of this opportunity that a lot of other people do not have. I can't drop everything and move to him with no career... just support me for a few months I supported you with all of your bull

ifrahch · Jul 16, 2013, 08:38 AM

Ugh this site is so confusing

ifrahch · Jul 16, 2013, 08:38 AM

Thank you again everyone.

smearcase · Jul 16, 2013, 09:06 AM

" HE decided to go to the navy and HE expected me to wait for him." YES.
"he messed up that's why he's in the navy." IS THAT THE FUNCTION OF THE NAVY IN YOUR OPINION?

"so now he'll just rot in the navy with no one." HE"S LUCKY TO BE ABLE TO GET FAR FROM YOU.

Speaking as a Navy veteran, how about a little respect for the United States Navy without all the slurs. Say what you please about your 'friend". While he's 'rotting" in the USN, you'll be a little bit safer because he and just a tiny fraction of US citizens are willing to serve. What have you done for your country recently?

He's lucky to be rid of you.

N0help4u · Jul 16, 2013, 10:02 AM

I can see what you are saying smearcase, but I think she is referring to messaging up as he messed up and the court gave the option of jail or military