[lindsey81]

I currently have a residence order in place my daughter has to visit her dad every three weeks we meet half way of the journey my daughter is adamant she does not want to go as she is scared of her stepmother and her dad after the last few visits she has come back quite upset due to their behaviour towards her I have spoken to her dad and stepmother and they say I still have to take her but this to me is forcing the child to do something against her will .do I need to take her and does she have to go what steps would you suggest I have to take .my daughter is extremley worried about these visits and I am worried she will suffer from the repecussions of our argument with her dad and stepmother if she is made to go

[cdad]

Yes you have to make her avaiable or you can go to court and change the custody agreement. Why is th child afraid and how old is the child ?

[ScottGem]

As long as there is a court order then you have to make the child available. You do not, however, have to force the child to go with him. If, when you meet the child refuses to go despite your encouraging her to, you don't have to force her into his car.

But you need to be careful here that you aren't poisoning the child's mind against the father.

Your best bet is to explain to your daughter that will try to get the visitation changed. Until then she has to go along with the court order. Depending on how old she is a court will listen to her fears. If she is very young then take her to a psychologist who can get at the root of her fears and recommend ceasing the visitation. Then go to court with that.

[lindsey81]

Yes you have to make her avaiable or you can go to court and change the custody agreement. Why is th child afraid and how old is the child ?

She is eight years old she has been quite upset coming home from previous visits due to her stepmothers attitude towards her and the way they make her feel she worries constantly about the visits and on her return has had nightmares for a couple of days later she has confided in the headmaster at school and also told a nurse when she had to have her ears checked at the doctors last week although I'm unsure if her comments would have been logged .I was unsure whether to phone first response about it as it is in my eyes things they say to her and how worried and scared she gets about going amounts to emotional abuse I have tried talking already to her dad about this amicably but it has not worked we are due to go on Wednesday and she is worrying already about their attitude towards her and them shouting at her for coming home and telling me.

[cdad]

What do you think is being said? You haven't given any indication that you have truly communicated with your daughter. Is she saying that she is misbehaving or getting in trouble there? What is the situation?

[ScottGem]

Then like I said take her to a psychologist then file an emergency hearing to change visitation.