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gatorade05 · May 24, 2013, 07:11 AM

So this girl and I have been on and off for like 2 years, and we've never dated. But we really like each other, and to sum it up, our main issues are her parents really hate me a lot due to our past, and she doesn't like that I get mad at little things that cause arguments But I don't know how to control it. What do I do about these problems before it's too late?

JudyKayTee · May 24, 2013, 07:14 AM

It depends on how serious your issues are. Have you tried to change through counseling or somethng else? Have you changed the way you handle yourself in order to convice her parents that you have changed?

How old are you both?

gatorade05 · May 24, 2013, 07:20 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

It depends on how serious your issues are. Have you tried to change through counseling or somethng else? Have you changed the way you handle yourself in order to convice her parents that you have changed?

How old are you both?

We are both 17. She just told me a few days ago essay her big issues were with me, so we haven't gotten a chance to make changes yet, but we're willing to try. Neither of us want us to be done. Her parents really hate me (names were called a while ago, walked in on us.. ) And I haven't had any communication with them in a while

JudyKayTee · May 24, 2013, 07:47 AM

Walked in on you? If they walked in on you have sex with their daughter you are probably fortunate they didn't have you arrested - or at least try to.

I don't think you are going to change their minds. They think you betrayed them, apparently in their own home.

Do they know their daughter is in contact with you, or is this behind their backs? That's also a bad position to put her in.

If you care for her at all, walk away until you get yourself and your situation straightened out.

gatorade05 · May 24, 2013, 07:55 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Walked in on you? If they walked in on you have sex with their daughter you are probably fortunate they didn't have you arrested - or at least try to.

I don't think you are going to change their minds. They think you betrayed them, apparently in their own home.

Do they know their daughter is in contact with you, or is this behind their backs? That's also a bad position to put her in.

If you care for her at all, walk away until you get yourself and your situation straightened out.

Is there any way to convince them that just because of that instance doesn't make me a bad person? Like any other guy would do the same.. But yes it is mostly behind their back, which is probably the biggest problem of all. So you're saying take a break?

Wondergirl · May 24, 2013, 08:17 AM

If they could post here, what would they say they specifically don't like about you and why? ***ADDED I just read your post to Judy. Would talking with them in person at a meeting with a counselor or referee of some kind help?

JudyKayTee · May 24, 2013, 12:09 PM

"Is there any way to convince them that just because of that instance doesn't make me a bad person? Like any other guy would do the same.. But yes it is mostly behind their back, which is probably the biggest problem of all. So you're saying take a break?"

Sorry, I have stepdaughters. Having sex with my undeage (probably) "daughter" and then having in my house and then continuing to see her behind my back does make you a bd person.

If you care at all for her, yes, you'll stop encouraging her to defy her parents. That's what I said.

And don't misunderstand me - I wouldn't be very happy with her, either. I would also be very concerned that she could get/would get pregnant at age 17.

What were you thinking?

I also have male stepchildren. I disagree that you did what "any guy" would do - very strongly disagree.

joypulv · May 24, 2013, 12:45 PM

'Like any other guy would do the same.. '
You live in a very small world. None of the men in my life thought like that.
If your mantra is 'everybody does it,' (whether sex in the house, or stealing, or cheating, or speeding, or drugs, blah blah) then I would consider you too immature for my daughter.

Then there's your anger at little things. You learn to control anger because the payoff is important to you, plain and simple. You don't have a brain tumor and you aren't possessed by demons. Another sign of immaturity. We all have emotions we want to let out besides anger: jealousy is a biggie. You FORCE yourself to put a lid on them! What's the payoff? Your girlfriend, of course.

talaniman · May 24, 2013, 04:23 PM

Originally Posted by gatorade05

Is there any way to convince them that just because of that instance doesn't make me a bad person? Like any other guy would do the same.. But yes it is mostly behind their back, which is probably the biggest problem of all. So you're saying take a break?

That one instance does make you a bad person in the eyes of parents. Better get some anger management and leave the girl alone before your problems will grow if you don't.

Imagine them finding out you are still seeing their daughter behind their back? The next step is the cops after they talk to YOUR parents.

No telling how long she gets grounded for.