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Jailynn1122 · Jan 1, 2013, 04:03 PM

About two and a half years ago I met my soul mate. He was on parole and I was out of my mind after a year he left then got in trouble and went back to prison. Him and I talked and wrote all day, everyday. He came home in November and after about a month he left again after an argument saying he was done. While he was gone we planned our lives together. He promised he would never leave again and we planned on marriage. It's been 3 days I haven't tried to text him in almost 48 hours and he hasn't texted or tried to contact me that I know of. I need to know what the chances are that he will come back? What are the chances that this is just temporary? Should I sell my wedding dress or wait to see what happens? We were very close and he's had some anxiety issues since returning home. I don't know what to do please help

Jiser · Jan 1, 2013, 06:39 PM

From what your saying I am interpreting your relationship as being over. Your closure what him saying he's done. Sell your wedding dress and get busy with your life.

Hes in and out of prison... You should not take or accept this drama in your life. Do not be a willing recipient and get yourself out there and enjoy life. Go to the gym, meet new friends, get a new hobby.

The only your going to be able to do deal with this is going no contact and forcing yourself to do things. Time and staying busy will be your healer.

Jailynn1122 · Jan 2, 2013, 09:23 AM

Threads merged together.

I just don't get all these broken promises... He defenitly was having issues in his head since returning home. He wasn't himself. I feel so played and used. I do miss him and our talks. Idk how I could miss someone that devastated me so bad but I do. I can't see him not trying to come back after I stood so loyal by his side through everything. How could he just walk away from me and my 4 year old son ( which he claimed as his). How can someone be so heartless is beyond me

When a man leaves what are the chances he will return? How do I stay strong and not let him come right back.

Oliver2011 · Jan 2, 2013, 09:38 AM

You move on. You start new. You do things you have been putting off and have fun doing them. You call some girlfriends over and have a movie night. You pick up the tennis racquet that has been laying in the same spot in the garage, dust it off, and join a tennis league. Whatever you call fun, have fun.

In other words your life doesn't stop because of this situation. If it does stop, then you have allowed it to stop. You will be just fine if you remember you are in control of you and your feelings.

Jailynn1122 · Jan 2, 2013, 09:47 AM

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

You move on. You start new. You do things you have been putting off and have fun doing them. You call some girlfriends over and have a movie night. You pick up the tennis racquet that has been laying in the same spot in the garage, dust it off, and join a tennis league. Whatever you call fun, have fun.

In other words your life doesn't stop because of this situation. If it does stop, then you have allowed it to stop. You will be just fine if you remember you are in control of you and your feelings.

I'm slowly but surely getting to doing things. It's only been a short period since he's left(4 days) for the first couple days I texted him like crazy just to get a simple reply of " I love you and I'm sorry, but please stop its over" that's it after all these promises and he was even engagement shopping last week to him just walking out. I'm broken

momluvslgg · Jan 2, 2013, 10:23 AM

I'm sorry for what you're going through. Regardless of whether you should stay and wait or move on, it still must hurt to lose the one you have loved and waited so long for. Have you tried talking to someone like a counselor to help you sort all of this out? I know of a free counseling helpline. If you're interested, just let me know. How is your son doing? I'm praying for you and your situation, friend.

Homegirl 50 · Jan 2, 2013, 10:46 AM

It sounds like this relationship was on again off again from the beginning. Why was he in prison? Does not sound idea for a woman with a child to get caught up in. Is this the way you want your life to be?
Sell the dress and tell yourself you deserve a more stable relationship and one with someone who is not in and out of jail.

Jailynn1122 · Jan 2, 2013, 11:02 AM

Originally Posted by momluvslgg

I'm sorry for what you're going through. Regardless of whether you should stay and wait or move on, it still must hurt to lose the one you have loved and waited so long for. Have you tried talking to someone like a counselor to help you sort all of this out? I know of a free counseling helpline. If you're interested, just let me know. How is your son doing? I'm praying for you and your situation, friend.

My son is acting as expected. He shows anger and cries over the smallest things. He's only 4 so I expect this. I have him scheduled to see a counciler on Friday and not sure about myself seeing one yet even though I know I need to. I'm just at a loss of words not understanding after all we talked and planne for him to feel as though he had to leave. He had a lot going on in his head since he's been home. I can tell that. I just didn't expect this at all. Ive never hurt so bad in my life and I find mysel wondering if he will come back but why? Why do I want that back? He was my best tie d and I told home everything. I never let somebody so close to me in my life. The emotional connection we have was like no other.

odinn7 · Jan 2, 2013, 12:15 PM

Originally Posted by Jailynn1122

I never let somebody so close to me in my life. The emotional connection we have was like no other.

I'm not trying to be mean here but honestly the way I am reading this it sounds more like YOU had an emotional connection with him (or at least thought you did). If he had such a strong emotional connection with you, I doubt he would have been able to just leave you a few times like he has done.

Time for you to gather up some self-respect and forget about him and find someone that will treat you better.

Homegirl 50 · Jan 2, 2013, 12:18 PM

The relationship sounds pretty one sided to me.

talaniman · Jan 2, 2013, 01:28 PM

You gave your heart and banked your child's future on a guy who can't stay out of prison and build a solid honest life? Not wise, or fair, and he has done enough damage to you and your son.

Jailynn1122 · Jan 2, 2013, 01:42 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You gave your heart and banked your childs future on a guy who can't stay out of prison and build a solid honest life? Not wise, or fair, and he has done enough damage to you and your son.

It's such a crazy Sutuation isn't it? He told my friend that he was hurting bad and it wasn't easy for him either, but he had to walk away. His family is really really close... Scary close and I think they have quite the influence on him and his relationships. I was obviously the fool in this relationship

momluvslgg · Jan 3, 2013, 06:39 AM

It sounds like you and your son are going through a lot right now, and my heart goes out to you both, friend. It's good that you are taking him to see a counselor soon, and if you want to talk to someone over the phone yourself, the free counseling helpline is 1-855-771-4357. It's with Focus on the Family, and in my time with them, their counselors have helped many people. I'm sorry again for what you are going through and I'm praying that you will feel God's compassion, guidance, and comfort in the coming days.

J_9 · Jan 3, 2013, 07:34 AM

May I ask you what kind of future you see with an ex-con? I don't know what he was convicted of, so I'm not judging. But don't you have higher expectations for yourself and your son?

Jailynn1122 · Jan 3, 2013, 09:01 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

May I ask you what kind of future you see with an ex-con? I don't know what he was convicted of, so I'm not judging. But don't you have higher expectations for yourself and your son?

He got arrested when he was a kid and did 6 years came home had a great relationship... Broke up then he went back and begged me to stay with him. I stood by his side the whole time just for him to walk away