[nerdylove93]

So here's the story, I met this guy through a friend in high school and the day I met him I was like "WOW, he's so good looking, but don't get your hopes up, he'll never like you."

After about a year of hanging out we became best friends. I really mean BEST FRIENDS! We were inseparable! One day he called me on the phone and asked me out. I still remember the call to this day. I told him we should probably just stay friends. The reason I did this was because I felt very insecure. I had never had a boyfriend before and I was too scared to date my best friend...

He asked me out again a few weeks later and I just told him "maybe". I remember asking him things like "If we were going out what would we be doing?" He said "We can just hold hands and stuff." That's HOW Naïve I WAS!
I later asked him out to prom and he said yes, but then I went to a therapist and told her I was having second thoughts about going to prom with him. It was basically because I thought he was too good for me (sounds CRAZY but it made sense in my mind at the time.) She told me to just remind him that we were going to prom together as "friends". It was stupid advice. She's not my therapist anymore...
We did go to prom together and it was a great night. He was the best prom date I could have asked for.

As time went on he gave up trying to ask me out but we still remained best friends, though later during the summer I began developing stronger feelings for him. I decided I was going to ask him out but before I did he came out to everyone saying he was GAY!
A few months after that he got his first boyfriend. He was a nice dude and I started to think “HEY, I should just move on because if he has a boyfriend he CLEARLY wont be interested in a girl like me anymore.” But while the two of them were going out I had an odd feeling he was starting to like me again. He would spend more time with me than with his boyfriend when we had group get togethers. Needles to say their relationship ended VERY quickly.

So it has been 2 years since then. We both go to different colleges now but we still speak occasionally and we hang out a lot during the summer. Also, neither of us has been in a serious relationship with anyone else since, this is one reason why I still hold hope for us being together one day.

OH! I forgot to mention we went to a nightclub together last year. We were getting real drunk and we started grinding each other on the dance floor. Later during the car ride home he apparently wanted to make out with me but I just laughed it off and said “Nah!”. That's what my friends told me anyway, my memory of that night isn't all that sharp...

I haven't seen him face to face in 5 months. I think this is the longest time we've spent apart. I feel his absence has made my heart yearn for him more, you know? I’m starting to believe that we were made for each other :x (too bad God didn't give me a penis... )

He will be coming back home for the summer next week. What should I do? Should I just remain friends with him or should I tell him about my feelings and apologize for the way I had rejected him in high school? (or should we both just get really drunk again and see where that leads us? LOL)

[Homegirl 50]

Well getting drunk together and taking chances with alcohol is just stupid and immature. If you really like this guy and you two are such good friends talk to him, tell him how you feel, otherwise more time will go by and you will never know. Do the mature thing.

[talaniman]

Stay friends catch up and don't get drunk, and have good clean adult fun. Romance? Hell NO!!

[nerdylove93]

Stay friends catch up and don't get drunk, and have good clean adult fun. Romance? Hell NO!!!!!!

I think you are right about this one, but I am curious to know why you say "Hell NO!" To the possibility of a relationship. Is it because he says he is gay? Please elaborate more if you can because I have not told anyone else about this.

I am a real shy girl and I find it hard to make friends with guys, but as soon as I opened myself up to him he was SO accepting! He listens to all I have to say, takes interest in everything I'm interested in, and he REALLY respects me, I can't say that about any of my other friends. When I'm in a room with a group of people he talks to only me as if I were the only person that mattered -w-
I feel in control when I converse with him, that could be why I like him so much...
I just feel like, if I lost him as a friend I would be losing the only person I can be 100% myself with.

Also I will be 21 in a month and I've STILL never had a boyfriend. I feel pressure to find someone because my family is beginning to wonder why I am alone and my 17yo brother has a serious relationship.

[Homegirl 50]

I think you are right about this one, but I am curious to know why you say "Hell NO!" To the possibility of a relationship. Is it because he says he is gay? Please elaborate more if you can because I have not told anyone else about this.

I am a real shy girl and I find it hard to make friends with guys, but as soon as I opened myself up to him he was SO accepting! He listens to all I have to say, takes interest in everything I'm interested in, and he REALLY respects me, I can't say that about any of my other friends. When I'm in a room with a group of people he talks to only me as if I were the only person that mattered -w-
I feel in control when I converse with him, that could be why I like him so much...
I just feel like, if I lost him as a friend I would be loosing the only person I can be 100% myself with.

Also I will be 21 in a month and I've STILL never had a boyfriend. I feel pressure to find someone because my family is beginning to wonder why I am alone and my 17yo brother has a serious relationship.

If this guy is guy you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. You don't have to lose the friendship but I wouldn't expect more. Don't be desperate . The guy for you is out there.

[talaniman]

I don't think you have developed the social coping kills that allow you to deal with the complex emotional/personal relationships to be quite honest, and feel you should dedicate the next few years working on them as you make friendships, build a social life that makes you happy, and experiment with DATING.

Dating, is spending time with friends, and having fun getting to know someone. Its about fun not love.

Not meaning to be harsh mind you but you really have not explored or experimented enough to be comfortable with the unknown and overcoming your own fears. I have no doubt you are an excellent student, but its becoming obvious you are approaching the next crucial step of independence.

Standing on your own, and providing for yourself. If you have trouble with one or two friends, then imagine the confusion with dealing with romance with a gay guy who is probably BI. Keep your one friend, and expand your world slowly and thoughtfully.

Just saying no hurry for anything except what you have as a priority.