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lawrance cena · Feb 12, 2013, 10:02 AM

Hi

Firstly,thank you for choosing my message to read. I need some advices or techniques from you. This is that I am now interesting a girl who is foreigner. She come to my country for teaching. She is teacher. I want to propose to her. Actually I want to walk through my life with her. One of my friends said that it is not easy for me. Her hometown is a little far away from my city. Although our countries relationships are good but there is some difficult regulations to pass. But I want to try it. As you know, everything is not easy. If we want, why do we need to care about difficulties?
My situation is not OK to get her. She is foreigner. So am I need to propose to her immediately or am I need to wait to get some strong situation( I mean wealth)?
So what should I do ? Please give me some advices or if possible give me some ways. I don't want to lose to her. I think that you can understand my feeling. I am waiting for your good advices.

Thank you so much for reading my message
Have a nice day

Wondergirl · Feb 12, 2013, 10:09 AM

Has this woman shown any interest in you? Have the two of you dated?

dontknownuthin · Feb 12, 2013, 10:17 AM

Assuming that she wants to marry you, this should be possible. How difficult it is will depend on what countries you are both from and the political circumstances in each. Perhaps you can tell us where each of you are from and where you would like to live?

There are hardships because one, if not both of you, will have to live away from your home country and family. Depending on your finances and the political circumstances it could be difficult, if not impossible, to visit the family as often as you would like or even at all for years at a time. Then again, if either of you have reason to leave your home country, it is not uncommon for family to follow later.

My cousin is American and met a man when she was teaching in Ukraine. They married and it was hard for several years. They lived in Ukraine until her Visa ran out, then he got one for the US for two years but could not get a green card to enable him to work, so she had to support them. He applied for citizenship but it took a very long time and he had to return to Ukraine when my cousin was pregnant to wait for the citizenship to be approved. He didn't see his baby until she was several months old. It was very hard for them for several years. However, it all worked out in the end. He finally became an American citizen, got work here in the US, they have two daughters and he is able to financially support the family. He misses some things about Ukraine but is very happy to live here. After four years of marriage, they were able to buy a simple but very nice and clean three bedroom home in a pleasant neighborhood. For a while, they lived with her parents, but they made that work. I know there are many stories of struggle to make these things work, but if you really love each other and want to be together, I would think it would be worth the trouble.

Whether it's the right thing for you depends on what both of you are willing to go through to be together. It seems to make sense to figure this out together, and asking if she would like to marry you is a good first step. Then you can figure out where you both want to live and start contacting embassies, etc. to figure out how to get it done.

NeedKarma · Feb 12, 2013, 10:21 AM

Is this the same woman as in your previous two questions?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...an-696831.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...em-699086.html

If so then you've already received your answers from here.

dontknownuthin · Feb 12, 2013, 02:07 PM

Thanks Needkarma - now that I read this I have to tell you, Lawrence, that you're being kind of crazy and need to calm yourself down.

You've created three different posts about wanting to marry people and we can only presume that you are either thinking you're in love with multiple people very quickly, or you're presenting the same situation in different, inconsistent ways.

If this lady is married, you can't be with her so forget about it. If you pursue a woman who's in a happy marriage you are going to make a total fool of yourself and just end up feeling embarrassed and dumb.

If you like a single lady (not married, not dating someone else), just ask her on a date and see how it goes. If it goes well, ask her out again. If she says "no", she's not interested - leave her alone. If she says "yes", well, see how the next date goes. It's not complicated.

When you've been in a relationship at least a year, and you've met her friends and family, and you've expressed your feelings to each other and it's obvious she wants to be with you, then you can ask a lady to marry you. You don't ask someone to marry you before they even know you like them, and you certainly don't ask a married person to marry you or you will look like a total fool.

And set some boundaries for yourself - for example, how about NOT dating someone who is from another country so you can avoid those problems. How about focusing on ladies who are not married and who do not have boyfriend? How about forgetting about considering marriage until you have a long-term girlfriend?

lawrance cena · Feb 13, 2013, 08:45 AM

Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

Assuming that she wants to marry you, this should be possible. How difficult it is will depend on what countries you are both from and the political circumstances in each. Perhaps you can tell us where each of you are from and where you would like to live?

There are hardships because one, if not both of you, will have to live away from your home country and family. Depending on your finances and the political circumstances it could be difficult, if not impossible, to visit the family as often as you would like or even at all for years at a time. Then again, if either of you have reason to leave your home country, it is not uncommon for family to follow later.

My cousin is American and met a man when she was teaching in Ukraine. They married and it was hard for several years. They lived in Ukraine until her Visa ran out, then he got one for the US for two years but could not get a green card to enable him to work, so she had to support them. He applied for citizenship but it took a very long time and he had to return to Ukraine when my cousin was pregnant to wait for the citizenship to be approved. He didn't see his baby until she was several months old. It was very hard for them for several years. However, it all worked out in the end. He finally became an American citizen, got work here in the US, they have two daughters and he is able to financially support the family. He misses some things about Ukraine but is very happy to live here. After four years of marriage, they were able to buy a simple but very nice and clean three bedroom home in a pleasant neighborhood. For a while, they lived with her parents, but they made that work. I know there are many stories of struggle to make these things work, but if you really love each other and want to be together, I would think it would be worth the trouble.

Whether it's the right thing for you depends on what both of you are willing to go through to be together. It seems to make sense to figure this out together, and asking if she would like to marry you is a good first step. Then you can figure out where you both want to live and start contacting embassies, etc. to figure out how to get it done.

Thank you so much for you and NeedKarma . You gave your own times for giving advices for me. Really thank for those. Some of my case that I represent can make you misunderstanding, complicated and unhappy. Sorry for my fault. I believe that if we can meet each other, you can know the real situation of me. So, please don't disappoint upon me. However, I got a very helpful advices from yours. Next time, if I have some problems, let me ask and I hope I can get helpful advices form yours.
For dontknownuthin, thank you so much for telling about your cousin's true story. I will never forget about your helping.

Have a nice day

Originally Posted by NeedKarma

Is this the same woman as in your previous two questions?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...an-696831.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...em-699086.html

If so then you've already received your answers from here.

PLease read reply at dontknownuthin's page. Thank you

talaniman · Feb 13, 2013, 09:28 AM

Hey guy you still didn't answer the question. Are these three different females or NOT. If not, you have a strange idea about love and romance.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 13, 2013, 09:55 AM

All countries have rules and laws about the marriage to foreigners, but even then, it is easy to just travel to another nation to marry if yours will not allow.
Example here in China, marriage to a foreigner can be hard at times, so many merely travel to Hong Kong or Twain where laws are easier, or even to US where it is very simple and then return back to China.

The issue is the customs and practice of marriage. For some, love has nothing to do with it, and you would need to have a job, money for down payment of a house and even a car. Before you would want to ask someone to marry you. Those are some of the main things asked for here in China for a groom to have to ask marriage, ( if in a high class or wanting to marry someone or higher income)

So without knowing the type of relationship it is hard to say.

dontknownuthin · Feb 13, 2013, 11:03 AM

Fr Chuck, see his other posts - you'll see that he's not even in a relationship with this person he wants to married and unless he's chronically falling in love, the subject of his affections is happily married to someone else and has no interest in the OP.

lawrance cena · Feb 14, 2013, 07:47 AM

Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

Fr Chuck, see his other posts - you'll see that he's not even in a relationship with this person he wants to married and unless he's chronically falling in love, the subject of his affections is happily married to someone else and has no interest in the OP.

For dontknownuthin, talaniman and NeedKarma,

Please give time for reading my reply.
I don't want to explain this. But now I believe that I have to explain this. OK. This is a long story. The females are different not the same one. But only the girl from my last question is concerned me.
The 20 years older woman from my first question is from book that I read. Her case is from more than 50 years ago. I don't know this was really happen or not. I just know her case because of book. This book is not written in english and already published more than 50 years. It was written in Indian langauge and I bought this book from shop which sell old books. I tried to scan this book today but some pages can't scan. If I can scan this with another scanner and there is someone who want this book, I will send. OK. I am now helping one of the psychology student(just helping not teaching) who is the son of my boss. He say that he want to write this case at his assignment and want to get another different ideas.Because this case is little and strange and interesting. My english is better than him and he want me to create post and I did. He got Grade A at his assignment.
We are so happy about this.

I don't want to tell those because we think that it is no need. But I come to know that this is not true.Because someone can recognise me that I am a bad guy who use their advices for doing crazy things. Moreover, this is public page and someone who read my page can say that " A Fool is asking questions". I don't want like this because I am not playing. I LIKE PRESTIGE.

I respect to everyone. You can know how I respect to you by checking my vocabulary usage at my questions because I know that all of you have good mind and heart by checking your sayings.

I created the questions just for knowing different ideas not for comparison. I accept and respect freedom but I just show my target. I don't want to disturb to everyone. So I did my best with polite ways. I can't control and give commend for understanding and misunderstanding of other people. I believe that I give clear answers. However, I just want to say " Thank you for giving times for me"

If I am rude, I am so sorry
Good luck

Lawrance

lawrance cena · Feb 14, 2013, 07:54 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

All countries have rules and laws about the marriage to foreigners, but even then, it is easy to just travel to another nation to marry if yours will not allow.
Example here in China, marriage to a foreigner can be hard at times, so many merely travel to Hong Kong or Twain where laws are easier, or even to US where it is very simple and then return back to China.

The issue is the customs and practice of marriage. for some, love has nothing to do with it, and you would need to have a job, money for down payment of a house and even a car. Before you would want to ask someone to marry you. Those are some of the main things asked for here in China for a groom to have to ask marriage, ( if in a high class or wanting to marry someone or higher income)

So without knowing the type of relationship it is hard to say.

Your advices are helpful for me. I can't tell you the real type of relationship now. Thank you for your advices. I think I can do what I want to do with your advices.
Thank you again.
Good luck!!