[KSim]

After talking this situation out with many friends and coworkers... I still have no solution so I thought I'd hop on here and see if anyone out here can provide some insight.

In the summer of 2011 my husband's good friend (we'll call him Tom) was living with another friend at his friend's parents (28 years old). His friends parents would not allow Tom to bring his girlfriend over, so Tom quit his job and moved out. Tom moved in with his dad in a small town, but could only find work in the city. He found a job that required 12 hour shifts on the weekends. This job was close to mine and my husband's house so we agreed to let Tom stay on the weekends so he didn't have to commute (October 2011). Soon, however, in April 2012 his shifts changed to more regular hours and Tom asked if he could officially move in with us until he could get a place of his own. I reluctantly agreed because Tom was trying to get back on his feet and I felt bad not helping him out. We put rules in place that included that he had to pay $250 a month in rent/utilities (a good deal!), even gave him the first month free so he could get situated, we also agreed he could only live with us until December. He said it probably wouldn't even be that long.

Tom paid his rent in May and June, he was laid off, then fired from a job, then laid off from a third job, then fired from a fourth (all jobs he found through a temp agency). He was able to pay for July and August before the temp agency would no longer work with him and he began to hunt on his own. Having no income, Tom did some work on our basement finishing project to pay for September and October. Still unable to find ANY kind of employment Tom applied for and was granted unemployment benefits and my husband convinced me to let November and December slide since Tom didn't have the money and he was going to be leaving anyway.

So, guess what, here we are in January 2013 and Tom is still in my house. According to my husband, Tom has no place to go, even his parents won't take him in. We, obviously, cannot toss him out on the street. SO WE ARE STUCK!

I try to tell my husband that Tom should be doing whatever he can to "earn his keep" or at least offer up some kind of financial compensation instead of playing XBOX or hanging out with his girlfriend all day. I seriously question his job hunting efforts. I'm at my wits end! Oh, and the girlfriend lives in college dorms... so that's out. Anybody have advice on what we should do, I can't ever see us throwing someone out in the cold but at the same time Tom know this and I feel he is using us. PLEASE HELP!

[jbhl]

He probably has gotten too comfortable. Bring it up with your husband though and make sure that this is more than a pity party. You are his WIFE, this is YOUR home that you work to pay for that you work to make sure that you are able to stay in this home to eat, sleep, to mess around, and to do what you please. You earn your place in this home. However, it is inexcusable for a person to be living in a home of a husband and wife as a non-contributing house leech. Put your foot down because your husband, a sane one, would choose his wife over a friend's capability to survive on his own. What you can best promise the friend is probably aid.

Help him get a cheap motel room, I mean cheap so he has reason to try to get a job so his girlfriend doesn't think he's pathetic at LEAST.

You and your husband are not this man's parents, therefor you have no moral obligation that to give him a sensible amount of time to get back to his feet if even his own parents won't. If this guy's parents aren't going to put up with his bull, then you definitely do not need to.