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hannah2013 · Jan 7, 2013, 03:11 PM

My boyfriend is asking me how many people I have slept with, before I got with him, do I tell him or not?

I have not asked him so I don't know what brought this up!

Homegirl 50 · Jan 7, 2013, 03:29 PM

It is really none of his business. How old are the two of you? Ask him why he feels he has a right to know or wants to know.

hannah2013 · Jan 7, 2013, 03:34 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

It is really none of his business. How old are the two of you? Ask him why he feels he has a right to know or wants to know.

I am 22 and he is 23, that is what I said to him, it has nothing to do with you, seems verry childish, I carnt see the difference it makes how many people I have been with

Homegirl 50 · Jan 7, 2013, 03:40 PM

Then leave it at that. It's none of his business and yes it is childish and pretty possessive. How long have you two been dating.

hannah2013 · Jan 7, 2013, 04:04 PM

QUOTE by Homegirl,
Then leave it at that. It's none of his business and yes it is childish and pretty possessive. How long have you two been dating

I have only been dating him a few weeks,I don't think he will leave it at that to be honest

Homegirl 50 · Jan 7, 2013, 04:49 PM

You leave him alone. You've only been dting a few weeks and he's started this kind of mess, let him go.

hannah2013 · Jan 9, 2013, 08:13 AM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

You leave him alone. You've only been dting a few weeks and he's started this kind of mess, let him go.

Thanks :-)

Thirdtime · Jan 13, 2013, 08:53 PM

Hi hannah... I'm going to tell you how I felt towards my girl when we began I believed is exactly as what your man is going through.
You may say is none of our business but I would suggest you ponder with understanding if you want him to trust and love on no one else but you.
My mind at that time was if she had slept with somebody else I want to know who is he! I told her that I need to know how they broke up. If there were two or more she needs to say or explain how each one broke up.
Now I may sound alien asking all this but what I was trying to do here is more of a worry about myself whether you truly love me or this is one of those of your normal habits of 'hire and fire' situation. Your guy hannah2013 I presume could be clean and doesn't want to create a history of women behind him. You could be his first or second or maybe there hasn't been a serious one in his life and he wants to make sure you are serious.I think he loves you and wants clears answers so that he lets you know how he felt towards you now! If he doesn't love and feel deeply for he would not ask but enjoy and move on instead he is asking.
My advice is understand him... and if you do really love him,this may be your last hurdle. I told my girl that it doesn't matter to me if she had 3 or more past boyfriends together in bed but as long as their broke up is genuine that I don't get left off when I've fully committed myself only to realize that she's gone back to one of those past boys because she still have feelings for them.You have to be genuine and assure him its all over for all of them if there was.Again he won't mind the numbers but the honesty if you really care and don't want to lose him too. Tell before explaining that after you he needs to say his past as well... in true honesty.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 13, 2013, 09:59 PM

It is none of his business, if he wants to discuss possible disease or other issues, but that can happen with one person, so one or 10 does not make a difference.
He was a jerk for even asking for the number of men

Homegirl 50 · Jan 14, 2013, 07:40 AM

Anytime a guy starts asking you questions like that, it is a red flag that he is either insecure, controlling or just a loser.
It's none of his business.

odinn7 · Jan 14, 2013, 07:44 AM

Just search this site for similar questions to this and you will see how many girls are made to feel like crap by their boyfriend because they told them the answer to this.

It's none of his business at all. He is an idiot for asking and if you tell him, he will most likely hold this against you and keep bringing it up and you will be forever sorry that you fell into this trap.

Tell him it doesn't or shouldn't matter and if it is such a big deal to him, then he can find someone else who doesn't mind telling him. It's only been a few weeks... you don't have all that much time vested in this so if you need to break up, now is the time. You will find someone else.

EDIT- Oooohhh... does it happen to be this guy that you're talking about?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...nd-726270.html

Thirdtime · Jan 14, 2013, 07:43 PM

Hi hannah2013... almost everyone are saying its none of his business and I agree its none of our business BUT it is his business to ask! He is the guy dating you,he is kissing you,holding you,and probably have gone or will go to bed with you. In other words he is now falling in love with you and his questions are all part of deepening and cementing the relationship.

I still think he really loves you and wants you for the keep. He really doesn't know you and wants to know you more.This questions are healthy questions unless the friendship is just for fun... then you don't need to answer or its none of his business. It goes back to you: Do you really love him? Is he the guy for own family? Do you want no other relationship except this one? If so,then this could be your last hurdle.
If you don't answer and decided to tie the knot with him,his questions will linger on throughout your lives together and may become the source of mistrust and deception.

I say its not our relationship its yours... so if you want to save it then answer those questions in your best honest way.

Homegirl 50 · Jan 14, 2013, 08:06 PM

She has only been dating this guy a few weeks. He does not love her, he does not even know her, but he has no right to ask her such a thing after knowing her a few weeks.

Wondergirl · Jan 14, 2013, 08:19 PM

My vote: It's none of his business.

Thirdtime · Jan 14, 2013, 08:21 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

She has only been dating this guy a few weeks. He does not love her, he does not even know her, but he has no right to ask her such a thing after knowing her a few weeks.

Ok Homegirl... lets wait and see what hannah has to say. It could be more then what she's giving us here in her thread.

I think he loves her... what made you think otherwise? He is dating her...

Homegirl 50 · Jan 14, 2013, 08:26 PM

What has she said that makes you think he loves her? Just because he is dating her means nothing. You can date someone and not love them.
She did say she has only been dating him a few weeks.

Wondergirl · Jan 14, 2013, 08:31 PM

Even my husband of 45 years does not know about my old boyfriends. I never talked about them, and he never asked. And if he had asked, I wouldn't have told him.

Thirdtime · Jan 14, 2013, 08:40 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

What has she said that makes you think he loves her? Just because he is dating her means nothing. You can date someone and not love them.
She did say she has only been dating him a few weeks.

Well she is calling him 'her boyfriend'. Isn't there a wanting there? I thought dating is a unique way to begin something that may end in union so why can't we thresh things out here? The guy is responding so I think he loves her. Let see what hannah has to say..

Wondergirl · Jan 14, 2013, 08:44 PM

A boyfriend, and even a husband, has no right to know anything about past boyfriends.

Thirdtime · Jan 14, 2013, 08:58 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

A boyfriend, and even a husband, has no right to know anything about past boyfriends.

Hi wondergirl... what is so frightening about the past? The past is gone, is dead, something that is history yet so secretive.

In this case the guy may make a commitment here, what's so horrifying about something of the past/dead/gone or is over?
If this guy is coming from nowhere to ask then he had no right but he is very much part of the relationship. So for me... its OK!