[Honeybeepot]

Hello,

I could really use some advice as this is an issue that I keep going around around in circles with.

My boyfriend and I get on perfectly our relationship is magical and I can honestly say I have never been made to feel as happy and special by anyone else in the world. However when we met we were both recently out of ten year marriages. Him a year and for me five months. I was a bit all over the place undecided in what I wanted and even though I was crazy about him I played it cool. Also because I was so unsure I finished our relationship several times weekly at one point I can't explain why I did this
Other than I was scared. However I recently found out that on two of these occasions he slept with other people. The first time he was visiting an ex who they say we're trying to be friends he says I dumped him he was sad and vulnerable. The second time he was out in town with friends and I told him not to contact me again, unfortunately he was with a girl who then decided to "offer it on a plate" so to speak. He also says that he was extremely sad and wanted to forget me and move on because he was so annoyed and upset by my behaviour. Both were very early into our relationship under three months.
I found out about the first occasion in the summer and decided to date and keep my options open. He has been steadfast through that period and dated and slept with no one. He says he decided to commit to me at that all he could do was wait and show me. However I have now found out about the second time and even though it was at the beginning I hurt like it was recent and I find myself in the place I was scared to be in at the first place. He has cut both these women off completely even though he tried to stay friends with his ex for a month or so after the cheating however once he realised she had no interest in being my friend he cut her out too.
We have a truly magical relationship and he has asked me to marry him but I keep on questioning if I am being weak by staying and he will probably do it again. Or was I just so badly behaved I really did make him feel unloved and rubbish at that time.
Any advice great fully received