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    MarriedMommy's Avatar
    MarriedMommy Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 8, 2012, 09:46 PM
    Why won't my husband finishe if he cums early?
    Tonight I was so turned on by my husband. I toyed with him and teased him until we were soon on the bed. He stops to shut off the light (always does this) then continues. I wanted it to last more than 10-15 minutes so when he got me close I pulled back. He went a little longer before cuming and when he saw I hadn't, he just sat back and asked why I just didn't when I had reached my climax the first time. I asked him if he could finish me (but in a sexy way so he would know how hot he makes me) and he just said NO blamed all this on me and just went to bed. Sometimes he tried but most of the time I am just left hanging. Tonight is the first time I asked he to help Me out. We have been married 10 years! I'm 30 and wanting to be more sexual than ever but having him be this way ruins it. I don't know what to do!! Makes me resent him and bitter. Anyone have some advice?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Dec 9, 2012, 08:01 AM
    You need not to finish or even start him, till he gets does you first.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #3

    Dec 9, 2012, 10:47 AM
    Tonight I was so turned on by my husband. I toyed with him and teased him until we were soon on the bed. He stops to shut off the light (always does this) then continues. I wanted it to last more than 10-15 minutes so when he got me close I pulled back. He went a little longer before cuming and when he saw I hadn't, he just sat back and asked why I just didn't when I had reached my climax the first time. I asked him if he could finish me (but in a sexy way so he would know how hot he makes me) and he just said NO blamed all this on me and just went to bed. Sometimes he tried but most of the time I am just left hanging. Tonight is the first time I asked he to help Me out. We have been married 10 years! I'm 30 and wanting to be more sexual than ever but having him be this way ruins it. I don't know what to do!! Makes me resent him and bitter. Anyone have some advice?
    This may seem harsh but but I think you need to take some responsibility for holding back. He tried, but you shut down and are now blaming him.

    Do you often hold back or was this a first time event?

    So, you could have had an orgasm but help back because you wanted sex to last longer? Why did you hold back? Why didn't you allow yourself to climax and continue until he climaxed? Did you think that if you got off he would stop? Do you shut down after having an orgasm? Have you tried continuing after you climax but he hasn't?

    I think you need to talk with your husband about expectations for sex. When you aren't expecting sex, sit down with him (not in the bedroom) and talk about what happened and how you might work together to increase pleasure for both of you. Don't try to assign blame or use the past as ammunition for an argument. Talk about the future and share ideas for what might make the next time better for both of you. Discuss ways that you both can find satisfaction without making either of you feel like a masturbatory aid.

    You don't say how old he is or what his stress levels and health are like. When you think about increasing pleasure don't forget to discuss ways to work around any libido limiters. You may need to think about arousing yourself before you try getting him aroused enough for sex.
    mollicusmax's Avatar
    mollicusmax Posts: 2, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Dec 9, 2012, 02:48 PM
    Most guys just can't keep going after they've . Maybe because you want him to immediately it makes himself conscious because he physically can't get it up that quickly again. It usually takes 10 or 15 minutes to.. recharge

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