[SweetPea95]

I've been dating a guy for almost 2 months now. My parent, especially my mom, tries to keep me away from him. She says she doesn't like his temper, but I think there is more to it. She finds every little thing she can so she can ground me from him. Weeks and weeks go by and it feels like I losing interest, but I KNOW I still love him dearly. I don't want to mess this relationship up like I did with the last one. I really want to spend the rest of my life with him. Please help me I don't know what I can do, I'm only 17.

[Alty]

You said it. You're only 17. Your parents make the rules as you're a child, and live under their roof.

I can't understand how you could love someone enough to defy your parents, when you've only been with him 2 months. Two months is nothing.

Is this the same guy in this thread?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...go-716035.html

[SweetPea95]

Yes. We've actually liked each other since last year in August. He's had a crush on me since my freshman year (2 yrs ago) but neither of us had the guts to start the relationship, we've both been abuse during other relaitonships. I am going to be 18 soon but my mom says that it isn't going to change anything. I just feel like I'm trapped and locked away from him. And I just don't want to hurt neither my parents or him by choosing one over the other. :(

[Alty]

When you're 18 you're an adult. You can move out, get a job, and fend for yourself. If you do that then you make your own decisions.

If you choose to stay with your parents, and they pay for everything, then you have to listen to them. Being an adult is more than just turning 18, it's taking responsibility for yourself, your needs.

The fact is, you've only been with him 2 months, you've already had a pregnancy scare, and frankly, I agree with your parents.

One part of your post is very telling;

weeks and weeks go by and it feels like I losing interest, but I KNOW I still love him dearly.

Your mom is very smart. She knows that this relationship is just one of many. When you're not with him for weeks, you start to lose interest in him. That's not love, and not a relationship that will last forever.

[SweetPea95]

But I was treated like this with another relationship also. I was with ken for a year but his father kept us apart as much as he could... and we didn't even have intercourse or anything. Its either the guys parents keeps us separated or my parents that do it. Current relatioship we are working on the stuff that we should keep till marriage like we should. We been talking things out. He as also protected me from a coupld of exs... which... was stupid of me to date in the first place. But I do love him. It just being away from him all the time it hurts. :( I've only seen him 4 times while we are dating

[Alty]

My advice hasn't changed. Read it again. Your parents are in charge, you're not an adult. If they don't want you dating him, you won't date him.

When you turn 18 you can get a job, move out, and date whoever you want. But until then, and as long as you live under your parents roof, you live by their rules.

Surely your love can survive until you turn 18 and move out. If you're really in love then he'll wait for you.

[SweetPea95]

Thank you for the advice.

[Fr_Chuck]

And I am interested in the issue of a temper, why do they feel he has one, what has he done to show a temper?

[SweetPea95]

When we fight he gets mad at me and yells at me and I end up bawling for hours on and off. But I can't stand up to peopl very well for one though. He gets that look in his eyes that scares the crap out of me... cause I'm always afraid he will hit me, I know he won't though. I was abused by my father when I was little so I get a little scared if any guy is mad even though I know he won't hurt me.

[aliseaodo]

You've only been together for two months, and you're already fighting to the point where he is yelling and you're crying? You have sooo much of life ahead of you, don't waste it with this!

[SweetPea95]

I can't yell at people unless I'm really frustrated... I cry. I've been like that. I can't hurt him, when I yell at him he actually cries. And this isn't the first time we dated. The first time was full of confusion so he gave up. But he says he should have never given up. We've known each other for 3 years. I get what you guys are saying. But when we ain't fighting, it so worth it because we are so happy to the point that the world doesn't exist around us. It one of those things that there is so much to risk, but for a happiness at the end.

[Wondergirl]

And what is he doing with his life? And what will you choose to do after college?

[SweetPea95]

He is going to school this January. He trying to get a job. And after I get my drivers license I will look for a job...

[Wondergirl]

All that crying concerns me.

[SweetPea95]

I haven't cried for about 3 weeks now... I've been to tired to agrue. So when he is mad, I just let him vent. Like last night

[Wondergirl]

i havent cried for about 3 weeks now.... i've been to tired to agrue. so when he is mad, i just let him vent. like last night

Set some boundaries. If he argues, leave. Refuse to listen to it.

[SweetPea95]

Yeah but he gets mad when I leave also. I tried leaving last night because I was sore , tired and not in the mood. But he said don't leave... but you are right. I got to set boundaries

[Alty]

Bottom line, you live in your parents home, you're not an adult, and the rules they set are the rules you have to follow. If they don't want you seeing him, you have no choice but to stop seeing him.

I think the other posters seem to have lost sight of the fact that your parents are concerned about this relationship, and want it to stop.

[SweetPea95]

For some reason I just felt weird talking to my boyfriend. I've never felt like this before. I've really only talked to him this holiday. Have I just talked to him so much I don't have the need to talk for awhile? Usually I don't run out of words to say.

[odinn7]

Maybe you just have gas.

Honestly, it's pretty difficult for anyone here to say what made you feel weird. Maybe you talked to him too much... maybe you didn't. What do you think?