[snakenath]

Me and my girlfriend broke up around 4 weeks ago or so and I am really pining for her, I think about her day in day out and even though I want to try and move on as a lot of people say I should but I just cant. My willingness and motivation to do anything has just vanished such as with university or work, its making me a really negative and distraught person. I know that you should never make yourself need a person but she was my companion and my best friend who was there to give advice if I needed it and kept everything together in my head, now I'm beginning to feel a little like a loose cannon and the fire within me that was there before has burnt out.

I struggle being on my own because my mind works against me but I struggle to get motivation to do anything else other than go out with friends and get drunk. It's a difficult situation because she was the one who broke up with me but I already know that she is in pain also and that she loves me so I just want to do all I can for one last attempt to bring her back to me. I always told her I would fight for her and that's what I want to do. We have had our problems in the past with insecurities and self confidence issues, both of us in fact at the start which were brought on my bad experiences with exes and we helped each other with those things but she fully recovered from those where as I struggled more with it which was the reason for her ending it but we have always had a really good relationship with each other and I was sure we were soul mates.

We originally broke up in September for 3 weeks but she took me back on another chance which lasted about 6 days but within that time I had made great progress and there were times where I would have had moments of insecurity previously such as her going out with a male friend or having a male friend over but I controlled it and got on with it. I feel like I was never really given a proper chance as she ended it for reasons not even relating to what I was meant to be improving on, she got doubts when after a really nice night in I attempted to initiate intimacy with her as I hadn't seen her for 3 weeks and we got back together, just as I'm sure any other man would have done and also that I texted her a couple of times saying to not think negative or let any doubts get in the way and that I'm always there for her and love her lots but she took one word I said to heart out of an entire text which was 'silly' which really was said lightheartedly and it threw her off and resulted in her ending it again. That the back story but I digress.

What I want to do now is to just send her a nice loving letter and to try to get her back and to remember us for the goodness we had and the love between us. I need some advice on how I should do this, what to say etc... because I am a person who wears my heart on my sleeve and in the past that has given me nothing but pain.

Thank you.

[snakenath]

Any opinions and advice or even experiences on this?

[odinn7]

You are better off just walking away from this. She ended it with you twice... one time it was within 6 days. It's over. If it wasn't, she wouldn't have ended it with you. All you are going to achieve in writing a letter is making yourself look bad. Even IF this letter managed to make her feel bad and get back with you, how long do you think it would be until she broke up again? Better just find someone else.

[snakenath]

You are better off just walking away from this. She ended it with you twice....one time it was within 6 days. It's over. If it wasn't, she wouldn't have ended it with you. All you are going to achieve in writing a letter is making yourself look bad. Even IF this letter managed to make her feel bad and get back with you, how long do you think it would be until she broke up again? Better just find someone else.

I understand it seems bad that she ended it twice but I know that if she gave me, if she gave us a real chance then we would be good once again. It wouldn't be a letter in an attempt to make her feel bad but to give her an option of taking me back and make her see that I can give her what she wants and make her happy. I really don't want to lose her so I would do anything to have her accept me back. Im a good guy and I believe I deserve this chance, I just wish she would see that

[odinn7]

You're just setting yourself up for more pain.

[here2assist]

I understand it seems bad that she ended it twice but i know that if she gave me, if she gave us a real chance then we would be good once again. It wouldn't be a letter in an attempt to make her feel bad but to give her an option of taking me back and make her see that i can give her what she wants and make her happy. I really dont want to lose her so i would do anything to have her accept me back. Im a good guy and i believe i deserve this chance, i just wish she would see that

Rarely do couples in cyclical relationships make it work. She did give it a chance and for whatever reason she was not satisfied. It's hard to let go but you'll meet someone you're more compatible with that won't want to break up with you. In the meantime reflect on the relationship and work on yourself and being the best person you can be :-)