[911RN]

Ok so my boyfriend and I have been together for about two years now and he has a baby with his ex-fiance.. He and his ex were broken up for about 4 months and ended up having sex a couple weeks before we met.

She was 6 weeks pregnant when she told him and the craziness ensued immediately. She called and showed up ALL the time and would text him things like "if you get back with me, I will have an abortion." The police were called on her several times after she would not leave the property. She would call him crying insinuating that she had a miscarriage, abortion, accident, etc etc. From the time she went into labor to the day she and the baby left the hospital, he stayed there with her and the baby and tried to make the best of it.

You would think any first time mother would want to enjoy her newborn and rest some, especially on the baby's first day home, but not this one. She called me every minute on the minute for literally 5 hours and then came to the house banging on the door screaming for him to come out... I don't know how many times he rushed over there because she called in a panic saying the baby is sick or needed something only to get there and find out she was playing games again... I changed my number and a year later, she wrote to me on Facebook saying that he just dropped her off at home from a Dr's appointment and that they were told that they are expecting another child and that he wanted her to tell me. (In actuality, he and I were at my parents house for the weekend). I could go on and on w/ the craziness...

Anyway, the problem is that because he is in a relationship, she gives him a hard time seeing his child. He ended up signing himself up to pay child support in order to get visitation, which was every other weekend (he wasn't really happy with this because he would like to see his child more often), but taking off work fri sat and sun every other weekend is impossible for him (& obviously I am NOT allowed to babysit while he went), so they worked something out where he can have his child a couple nights a week, but she gets upset when he asks her to respect his privacy, me, his home, etc etc and then she doesn't answer her phone or let him even go there to spend time with his daughter. Hes a very strong man and it is really hard to see him cry over this and here's nothing I can do to help. I even left him on a couple occasions (1x when she was pregnant and another after the baby was born) just to give him the option of being w/ her if that made things easier and so that he can have time to work things out with her. Neither of the times did he get back with her and all he does is call me and beg for me to come back. I've even had a conversation with her (she requested) and she pretty much went on a rant and there was absolutely no reasoning with her. She is a good mom though :/

Is there anything else he can do to be able to see his daughter more/at all and get her to stop acting crazy?

[joypulv]

You are asking about a problem that is his. He has to deal with it. He is obviously conflicted, as are most parents who share custody.
This is actually about YOU. You've tried to leave him, he has begged you to come back, you went. You have to either put up with all this or leave for real. You know very well that strangers online cannot tell you how to stop her craziness. He pays support and gets visitation and she allows it. HE has to handle what goes on in his home and HE has to handle the conflicts with her. You can only deal with him.

[RN911]

Thank you, but I think you misunderstood my question...

I left him thinking that it might be easier for him to choose to be with her for his child's sake if I wasn't around. Neither time did they date/have sex or anything like that because that's not what he wants to do & he knows he wants to see his daughter more, so he's not conflicted.

Also, they have agreed on an alternate visitation schedule because it's impossible for him to have those 3 days off every other weekend, but she refused to legalize that and does not stick to it. She has not been following the other visitation schedule that was court ordered either. He is not sure what the implications of getting a restraining order would be (like whether or not he would be able to call to see how the child is doing on days he doesn't have her) and is convinced that the law always favors the mother.

He hasn't seen or heard his daughter's voice in almost a month. He is very overwhelmed by all of this & it's to the point where he only gets out of bed to go to work.

I was just looking for an idea of what his options are as far as being able to spend time with his daughter more often without having to

[RN911]

*without having to deal with her because she's impossible.

I'm asking because it's hard to see him suffer like this, it's really not fair to his daughter and I'm pregnant & engaged and I would feel terrible if his daughter felt left out or like her dad isn't around because he had another family because it's not like that at all

[AK lawyer]

He ended up signing himself up to pay child support in order to get visitation, which was every other weekend
...
Is there anything else he can do to be able to see his daughter more/at all and get her to stop acting crazy?

... refused to legalize that and does not stick to it. ...

As I understand it, they have an agreement for visitation, but not a court order. The answer is obvious: apply to the court for a visitiation order. Then, if she denies court-ordered visititation she can be held in contempt of court.

[RN911]

Ok thank you! The "every other weekend" agreement has been court ordered but they agreed on something else afterwards. She's not following neither the court order or the verbal agreement (I know they probably won't care about the verbal one) so anyway, yayyy! I'm sure he'll be happy to hear there's something else he can do. Thanks again :)