[Parajr]

I guess I'm looking for moral support. I've married for five years and I love my wife. She is the only person that I have ever had sex with. We have been in a realationship since 1992. She is very attractive, even more so than when we first started dating. I don't know if the sex became too much of a routine, but I began having erection problems. At thirty I knew it was not normal. Doctors tell me that there is noting wrong with me physically. My penis just stopped working. Then I met this lady. I never approached her sexually, or anything like that, but we are friends. When ever she hugs me I get an erection like crazy. It is embarrassing. I love my wife, and I wish that I could have this type of response with her. I have never cheated on her, and it is driving me crazy. She thinks that I'm cheating because of the erection problems. What is wrong with me??

[Fr_Chuck]

Well closer friends than I have, since I don't hug ladies

Go to the doctor to be checked out, it can be all sorts of things

[skip2]

Brother, we've all been there.

There is NOTHING wrong with you. Many people get married and go racing down life's highway. Then, they wake up and deal with some of the realities of life - and that's OK!
Now you need to refocus. WAS THE SEX EVER GREAT WITH YOUR WIFE?
If so, you can do this. If not, you need to dig deep and both discover new things NOW.

I have been there. It was always with girfriends though, so less stress...

To be crass: You've opened the same gift one too many times - and you don't yell: "oh boy!" anymore...

SO, that woman who you are hugging (WHY?) is: a) new and B)subtly hitting on you (just an educated hunch) and your biological wiring is firing again...

I think that's GOOD news! Nothing is wrong with you. Now, you need to open up the playbook at home. I hope your wife will play!

Make it about love, but about passion, honesty about what turns you on... verbal fantasies and something you've NEVER done. Have her pleasure herself and talk about fantasies and you too... can she? Can you too?

Also, you can spend a few days away at a friends or on a buddy trip to return home and make it fresh again...

Let us know how it goes...

Pitch a tent and let her camp in it :-)

PS- THANK YOU NEW ERECTION GIRLFRIEND AND GOODBYE NEW ERECTION GIRLFRIEND. OR YOUR HEAD WILL MESS WITH YOU BIG TIME. I'VE BEEN THERE TOO. THAT WOMAN KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING (AND SO DO YOU) AND YOUR HEAD WIL LBE SCRAMBLED EGGS IF YOU DON'T ESTABLISH MAJOR SPACE.

[valinors_sorrow]

The best arrangement I know of is where my hubby and I flirt with others but take it out on each other when we get alone. LOL Familiar partner doesn't have to mean mean familiar sex unless you lack imagination. My favorite compliment he gives me is I am deep enough to be a dozen different women all in the same evening! I usually asnwer with two dozen, you haven't met them all! LOL Give your wife the same benefit of the doubt.

[skip2]

Umm, yes, read between the lines. And I'm rooting for you to solve this - the right way. I'm excited for you. Sounds like a fresh start... get her ready!

And when you get home from your next outing, I hope she's set.

Anyway, believe me, it's better than her being someone with major unresoved life and esteem issues that is a firecracker in bed and a pain the A-- outside of it. Often common.

... best to you and ummm - ez does it with 'the hugger" :-)