[eddie5498]

My ex first became my ex when I was 39, due to no commitment. I am 49 now.
I remained friends and his mother and father always invited me for xmas , funerals etc. I still drank with him in the pub but one night I walked in and he had hooked up with the girl behind the bar. I didn't know but was accused of doing it on purpose to break him up. She got hold of me and told me he didn't love me and to let go but we lived in a small community and like said had remained friends for 6 years so it wasn't odd for me to be there. I never went there again for ra year and he was complaining about her and packed her in and then asked me out. We saw each other but it still wasn't enough for me with seeing each other once a week. I broached the subject and he said to take things slowly. I quietly walked away and he let me and I met someone else , he said he loved me at this time to someone else but still let me walk. I found out since he started seeing this girl again. It finished with the guy I was with and the ex owed me a thousand pounds so I rang him and we got seeing each other again. But only every Saturday night. We went away and I asked if it would ever be any different and he said that he had his dogs and truck at home to think about. I got fed up and the man I had moved on with previously knocked on my door to go shopping after not seeing him for 6 months and I went expecting to be home for the once a week meeting with the other one . I was late home and couldn't go out that night but nothing had been arranged anyway . Because I wasn't available the present man kicked off accusing me of allsorts , found out where the other one lived , tried to kick his door down and had me hung drawn and quartered before I could explain anything. He then followed me when I went to visit the other one who was only a friend at this point and found his work place and threatened him to leave me alone and that he would get people to beat him up. Consequently the one I had gone shopping with didn't want to know me as he had 4 kids to protect. I used to work for him and it wasn't good for my now ex to have done this. But I didn't lose my rag but I was then on my own for ra long while. Things calmed down and they both made friends with me again . I didn't have any contact with the one who I went shopping with anymore and still hung onto thoughts of getting back with the other one based on him telling me that he finally after all the years wanted to give it a proper go with me. However I found since that he began seeing the other girl within 2 weeks of saying this. I remained friends , have been out with him , over the last 3 years and he bought me a camera 2 years ago this xmas , fixed my car and paid for the mot 2 years running , rescued me when my car broke down and searched the pasture land for my lost car key in feb and march offered to have my golden retrievers if anything any happened to me. All stuff which led me to believe he was still single. This other girl requested me a year ago on face book as a friend and his family and he told us all to stay away from her as she was nuts and said to me don't you dare. I trusted him even though I wasn't in a proper relationship with him that this was the truth that he was not going out with her. And I began to think based on the stuff about saying that he loved me and wanted to be with me that he still had feelings for me . He fixed my car offfered to pick me up from work twice and denied right up until a week ago that he had not moved on, he was not in a relationship with her, he had no emotional attachment to her and it just wasn't going to happen. That he never sees her at night is on his own every night but he had to keep on the right side of her due to some trouble he is in. The trouble was an accusation and police interview where someone has reported him for looking at stuff on the computer. She also got hauled in and her computer came back clean, he was waiting until last Wednesday to find out the verdict on himself. I care and I went to see him but she was there and he kicked off at me saying I was trying to ruin things for him, something he said years ago when he met her. He lied in front of her about ever seeing him in the last 3 years and she said we are madly in love and that they were engaged which he denied but anyway she was emptying or loading a removal truck and he said he was helping her to move house, despite saying he was never going to live with her. I can see he had a right to move on , as I didn't know what I wanted when he kicked off 3 years back with enraged jealously and he scared me . I eventually ran back to the other one for a couple of months when he was speaking because I had a bit of a life and did things together whereas with this one I never had. I have put my life on hold a bit because of the words of the other one saying he loved me and wanted to try and the fact I thought he was still single but now I am shocked to the hilt at the lied and hurt at the way he treated me in front of her . She turned round and said he just doesn't love you I told you that 3 years ago. His neices were all close looking after my dogs and I was in contact with him over this as it was his suggestion for them to look after my dogs last year. They let him in my house to see the dogs when they were pups but now they are ignoring me and so is he. One of them told me of his impending police interview over the accusations on the computer and said she will let me know the outcome but I supspect he has told them to ignore me like he did with us all last year over the other one. I know I have to move on now , but does he sound like he was worth it ? And do I have a right to be hurt ? Or am I as bad ?

[eddie5498]

Also is he guilty of the crime he has been accused of , that I will never know but in the last 6 years I have had two men either accused or guilty of misuse of the computer , which is shocking when you think you knew someone .

Just want to stipulate I have no part in any of that sort of thing .