[Tallica]

Hey..
I'll try to keep it short, so I don't bother you guys in reading a wall of text.

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years and 3 months, before she decided to break up with me 1 week ago because she needed some time on her own, to get more secure on herself and to grow on herself.

We have done everything together, through good and bad times. We have always been there for each other, no matter what. Before we got together, we were best friends for about 2 years. And I have always known her, since we've been on the same school since 1st grade.

I'm not her first boyfriend though, she's been together with another guy that's older than us. But she's my first girlfriend, my first love and I really can't imagine a life without her. She was my everything, my universe.
Our friends say that we were the perfect couple. Which we both would agree on, both of us agreed that we were great. Even her parents and my parents said to each other that they hoped we would last because we matched so good together.

Anyway, she just moved away for college. It's about 1hour and 20minutes away. (car drive) And that's when she started to feel insecure about her feelings.

And now I'm really confused about the break up. She says she still loves me and she want's to keep contact if it's OK with me. And it is, because I can't loose her out of my life. Not even as friends. I would not be able to handle that.

She said to me that she needed the time on her own to grow on herself. And that she might realize how much she misses me if we don't see each other for awhile. Maybe in a week, a month or a few years, she wanted me back if I would want her back again, was her exact words. Which I do.
And she told me I was the perfect guy, I have always been really nice to her. Been there for her when she needed. Given her time for herself when she needed that etc. I could go on forever but I'm going to try keeping this short..
Also, I don't try to sound like a douche here, but I consider myself as a pretty good looking guy.

But now I am really struggeling with this situation. I don't have any family nearby I can hang out with to do something else. I do not have any friends either to lean on for a while. My friends have also moved away for college, but they are all 10hours+ car drive away. Only thing I can do to try getting my mind on something else is really my work (I am a carpenter) But today I had a hard time on work also.
Also, do not tell me to get out and meet new people. I still got some friends that live here, but they are not the kind of friends I could talk to about this. Just regular friends I might join for a bowling night or something like that. And don't tell me to try to meet new girls meanwhile. Because I know I won't do that.

I really love this girl, of all my heart. And I miss her so badly. I would do anything for this girl, anything..

Should I just leave her alone for awhile so she gets time to miss me and realize what she just missed? Or how should I approach this situation?
Any answers would be much appreciated..

[ItsNotImportant]

She may want to be free in College and have fun. The way you described the break up seems like she's not really being upfront about what she really wants. I know it's hard to move on after 3 years, believe me bud, I've been there. Since this is your first relationship, first everything, it will be hard to just "let go" but I think that's what you should do. Let her go, and if she comes back then look at the situation again and see if it is best for you.

You say you're a good looking cat, so get out there and make some friends. I'm not saying jump right into a new relationship, but meet girls, and get to know them. Trust me, there ARE good women out there who may well be better then this one. You won't know until you try, and you will set yourself back if you try to chase her.

[Tallica]

Well yeah, I understand what you mean. But the point is I don't want to meet other girls. I just want this one back so badly. And I have had this feeling that this one is the one for 2 years. I still believe she is the one for me.

[ooohrah]

I am going through this right now , I know how u feel and I can onlytell u u will feel better as time moves on, I obsess about herstill. But all u need is time , it is OK to still love and want her, and it is OK to feel there will not be anyone else like her, whatu need to do is take this pause and work on yourself, improve something on u while she is gone, u don't need to jump into another relationship that will happen on your own , go to the gym take up running, do something to benefit yourself and leave her alone, if it is meant to be she will come back to u... Good luck.. :)

[Tallica]

Thanks ooohrah. The thing is I've been at the gym for the past 2 years, so that would just be a thing I do now, that I've been doing while I was together with her as well. But I will try to improve myself somehow.
And yeah, if its meant to be ill guess she's going to come back..

But I thought of something, after she moved for college she has been getting some new friends. Some of them are single, I know. Is it a possible chance she's been influenced by some of her new friends?

[ooohrah]

thanks ooohrah. the thing is i've been at the gym for the past 2 years, so that would just be a thing i do now, that i've been doing while i was together with her aswell. But i will try to improve myself somehow.
And yeah, if its meant to be ill guess she's gonna come back..

But I thought of something, after she moved for college she has been getting some new friends. Some of them are single, I know. Is it a possible chance she's been influenced by some of her new friends?

Absolutely, she may just want to spread her wings with her friends and really there is nothing wrong with that except you are in there... Just let her go, when she sees that there is no better she will return.

[Tallica]

I really hope you are right that she will return, ooohrah.

Thanks for your answers, very much appreciated.

[ooohrah]

I really hope you are right that she will return, ooohrah.

Thanks for ur answers, very much appreciated.

Only time will tell my friend, I am in the same situation, she needs to find herself, I am confident our relationship was strong , it could be a while but I think she will return, and if not that hope will have giving me enough time to aadjust.. do not seal yourself off, the only thing that does is make u alone and lonely.. good luck god speed.

[Tallica]

Cheers!
I was confident our relationship was strong too. But Ill leave her alone for awhile, hoping she will come back to me and see if it gets any better.

[Homegirl 50]

Leave her alone. You both need space to spread your wings and grow as individuals. She is probably meeting new friends learning things about herself and you should be doing the same thing.
This break is a good thing. I know you don't see it that way, but in the long run it is.

[Tallica]

Thanks for the advice Homegirl, very much appreaciated!