[Nazree25]

Here goes, I've been with this girl for almost 3 years. Things were great only till a few weeks ago. She said she wanted space and said that she doesn't deserve me. She doesn't want me to get her and that she can't prioritize me. Thing is we already book our flight tickets to Thailand. Both of us want to go but I'm not sure if she will turn up since we are going there in a group of 4. Yes I have not contacted her yet. The trip is on November which is her birthday. I'm also not sure if I should get her something expensive, I'm afraid that she would think that I'm pressurring her. What should I do?

[Fr_Chuck]

I doubt she will go, you need to call and ask her, although by Nov she may change her mind again.
If she does go it will not most likely be as a couple, so what were the sleeping plans if she want to sleep separate ?

It sounds like she was just being nice and wants to break up. The "I want space" is just a nice way to say, it is over, I don't want to hurt your feelings. Sadly most guys just don't get it.

[Nazree25]

I doubt she will go, you need to call and ask her, although by Nov she may change her mind again.
If she does go it will not most likely be as a couple, so what were the sleeping plans if she want to sleep separate ?

It sounds like she was just being nice and wants to break up. the "I want space" is just a nice way to say, it is over, I don't want to hurt your feelings. Sadly most guys just don't get it.

I don't know what are the sleeping plans.. I don't want to contact her because a lot of people said that on this forum and also its because I ask for the break up,but I still want to be with her I just want to know if there is any real chance.. we both agreed on our last texts that we would go to phuket thailand... its much easier if she doesn't turn up at the airport... but what if she does.. what do I do.. an she also said that after phuket she will see if we go back together or not... so I really don't know... I don't want to burn $200 on flight tickets haha... im the type that if I pay I will do it...

[Homegirl 50]

You broke up with her but you still want to be with her? Why did you break up with her?

[Nazree25]

This is how it happened.. she told me she needed a time off... and like a fool I was at that time... I kept pestering her... until she blew out we had an argument and then I said I wanted out... now I am having 2nd thoughts... what shoul I do... this was her last text. "I will always love u. Just that i wanna love myself first right now.if god is willing.we will be tgt again. Go find happiness. I want u to be happy. Ive not been able to do that for a long long time. U deserve to be happy."

[Homegirl 50]

I think you should leave her alone and not count on her going on this trip . You need to verify this but not try and talk her into anything

[Nazree25]

I understand... right now I'm going through the accepting stage... like I said,it would be so much easier if she didn't turn up... im just afraid that what if she did turn up what should I do.. I'm taking this at my one last shot of getting together... we are going I a group of 4,two couples me and her,her best friend and her boyfriend... I don't think she will let them down by not turning up,again I emphasise... what to do if she does turn up... should I play it cool?should I act like everythings OK?I don't like being awkward with her.I already planned my itinenary without her in the picture... hope you can advice me on this... thanks a lot

[talaniman]

She dumped you, make your plans for yourself and don't worry about her. Personally being dumped before a big trip, cancels it for me, especially with other couples. All bets and agreements are off when you get dumped buddy, and you are on your own no matter what she does next. You are free to do as you please now, without her.

When they ask for space, give them all they want.

[Nazree25]

Well I just want to know based on everyone's experience... if she does turn up... would there be a chance to reconcile..

[talaniman]

You can't reconcile with her my friend, she has to want to reconcile with you! Don't chase, beg, or plead. Hi and bye when you see her and go about your business if indeed she shows up, or if you decide to go any way.

[Nazree25]

Ok what if she asks to gel together our itinerary would that be a good idea or should I just say I got my own plans here at thailand..? what you guys think.. only if she ask,I won't ask her that...

[Homegirl 50]

She should not be an issue. She left you, leave her gone.

[Nazree25]

Ok I understand... thanks for all of your advices... I will post on the day phuket arrives to just share... you have made it clear for me to move on... she was my real 1st love guess I really didn't see this coming... like everybody else... we wished that it was different... of course it sucks to be me right now... and yes through time I will heal... but there is still hope for me only if she does turn up on that holiday... even if its just %1

[Nazree25]

Get this today she kept sending me pictures of us to me... why is that.. well I'm just smiling and continuing my job...

[Homegirl 50]

I have no clue. Perhaps you should ask her

[talaniman]

Did you tell her you were going whether she goes or NOT? I don't think she wants to go, or wants YOU to go without her. Or maybe she wants to go without YOU?! I don't know guy as you are very vague about this situation, and as I reviewed why you dumped her, and now having second thoughts its unclear if this wasn't a case of cooler heads being needed, or indeed she was planning on dumping you or NOT.

Please fill in the blanks.

[Nazree25]

Almost a month ago she said she wanted space,that she feels like she can't treat me right nor prioritize me,and she wanted a time off,at first I was OK we both felt confident in working out this relationship... so I gave her time up till phukket which is this nov... she said OK... but I started acting like how wildcat would say.. a WUSSY... I kept texting her saying I love her and stuff... we still saw each other because I send her to work almost everyday... we still kiss and all... only after a week back I made pre-plans for us... she wasn't happy about it... says that why am I still presurring here and what happened to the time off... we then started argueing I told her she was selfish and only thinking for herself and that I think better we break up,she says she only wanted a time off but since I want to end it she agrees to it(felt like sucker)and all of this happened by texting... which sucks... ok so on that day I texted and said that mabye you and I weren't soul mates... then she replied,mabye we are,mabye next month next year,only god knows... and I still will go to phuket if you want,I replied yes I want to go,the last few texts to me were"please be ok i feel like a loser,being uncapable of keeping a great guy"... I replied that its not like her to beat herself up like that and that I will be OK take care of yourself... her last text on that day was what I typed in the earlier thread... so yesterday... I started deleting her from my phone... I watsapp the group that's going to phuket which included me and her: I hope to see everyone again! : she replied that hope to see me again too... then she started to send pics of us... I replied saying that I don't know if your going to phuket I hope you do.. she replied "i will go,till then"... so yes I think she wants to go with me and enjoy the holiday together but only to talk after it... I want to go but I'm trying to prepare myself for the worst or better yet to expect nothing... she knows I want to work it out... what should I do..

[Homegirl 50]

Get a clear understanding about what this trip means, then you will know before you go

[Nazree25]

Sadly I think she just want to go because its been paid and stuff... thats what I think... who knows what she is thinking... well again to protect myself I just do no contact and don't expect anything other than having fun there... the real moving on phase will only begin when we comeback should we not work things out...

[Homegirl 50]

That is wise.