[lia1981]

Hi,

I am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for last 5 months. Although we met only once in person, however until now we never faced any communication problem. We live in two different countries which makes it very difficult two meet occasionally.

Recently my boyfriend is facing some uncertainties regarding his career and since last one and half month he has stopped every bit of communication with me from his side. Its now only me who is trying to contact him every time and try to keep our relationship as normal as possible. Not only this, he sometimes even avoids my mails, phone calls, chat message. The crisis which my boyfriend is going through will last for minimum 5-6 months and I am afraid in between our relationship will be completely destroyed. I have tried to talk with my boyfriend many times over this lack of communication. Every time he says that a) right now because of this crisis he is quite busy b) he has a habit of shutting down occasionally ( which I never realized before this crisis period).

I am totally confused how should I act so that my boyfriend again starts
Normal communication with me. He is introvert by nature and I am having a feeling he is not speaking his mind to me. May be he does not feel confident to approach to me anymore because of his career-crisis and that's why tries to avoid me! Should I stop contacting him for few weeks? But I am not sure because he is under stressful situations and may be if I stop contacting him, he will not come back again! I am not thinking to let him go, instead I would try every single possibility to get him back. However, from my side its very painful to feel unloved.

Any opinion/suggestion will be appreciated.

Thanks and regards.

[odinn7]

Being that this is long distance and now he isn't talking to you, why bother? You are better off just forgetting about this. Save yourself the heartache and end it now. These long distance things seldom go anywhere.

[shanmorris19]

Since you two are only dating, first you need to ask him if he is still interested in keeping the relationship together even though he is going through a hard time just so you know where you stand.

I would say don't give up on him if you two really care about one another and agree to keep trying. Give him his space. Just send him reassuring small messages from time to time to let him know you are there for him and ready to talk whenever he is. I would say keep it brief though until he starts to come around. I am in a long distance marriage to a guy in the Navy and I understand where you are coming from. There are times where the lack of reassurance gets frustrating and clouds your mind with negative thoughts. Focus on yourself. Find hobbies, crafts, and interest that you love; indulge yourself. Keep yourself busy. You can't ever tell what someone is going through with so much distance between you two. If you focus on keeping yourself happy, you won't have such a hard time getting through this time. Good luck!

[lia1981]

Dear All,

Thanks for all of your suggestions.

I have asked him few times whether at this moment he wants to stop the relationship together, if he does not feel comfortable. He said that he is not considering this option. Instead its only the stress and rather busy schedule because of which he is unable to communicate regularly. However, what I do not understand that how a guy can be so much busy all of a sudden that he does not get any time to just send a "hi" to his girlfriend! :-D.. . may be its totally the stress, and because of which I am not in his prime focus anymore. Or may be he is lying to me, and right now he is not even thinking of relationship. But he just does not want to admit that. Clearly he needs some space.

Whatever be the reason, I think I feel comfortable to follow what shanmorris 19 is suggesting. I will try to expect less from this relationship and rather try to keep myself busy. I am not taking any firm decision right now whether to break up with him and will keep the space open, if he wants to get back.


Thanks once again for your suggestions.